Groaners

"Hey, Mom, guess what happened at the hotel!"

Knowing #2 Son, there was no telling.

"I heard something around 4:00 this morning, so I looked out, and got pictures of frat boys running through the parking lot in their underwear!"

Just so long as you don't join them, Son.

Yes, the kids are staying at the hotel until Grandma can get up here, unless her generator gets fixed first.

Meanwhile, clean-up and phone calls and more phone calls, and errands for Grandpa, and cleaning the cat shelter, and i need something to take my mind off of it all.

How does a tractor end a romance?  It writes a John Deere letter.

Ever wonder, looking at your tax bill, if taxation without representation would have been cheaper?

Our new hospital's maternity ward is so high tech they are now delivering the babies cordless!

Headline:  Energizer Bunny Arrested -- Charged with Battery

World's most popular wine:  "I don't like Brussels Sprouts, Mommy!"

Why didn't the turkey cross the road?  He wasn't chicken.

Happy Saturday, Everyone!


Today is:

Banti Meskerem -- Eritrea (Revolution Day)

Bonnat Pig Fair -- Bonnat, France

Braemar Royal Highland Gathering -- Braemar, Scotland (one of the largest gatherings and Highland Games, celebrated for the last 900 years)

Building and Code Staff Appreciation Day

Chicken Boy's Day -- the mascot of the now defunct restaurant by that name, the 22 foot statue of a boy with a chicken's head was saved from destruction and is now a pop icon in L.A. on Route 66

Constitution Day/National Day -- Slovakia

Day of Knowledge -- Estonia (an official Flag Day); Russia

Disaster Prevention Day/Kanto Earthquake Memorial Day -- Japan

Ecclesiastical Year begins -- Orthodox Christian

Festival of Children -- Costa Mesa, CA (weekends through Sept.; a community-wide charity outreach with over 100 stage and hands-on activities through the month)

Festival of Juno Regina and Jupiter Liber -- Ancient Roman Calendar

Hassaku Oshi-tsuki -- Tsuma, Oki Island, Japan (bull sumo, with bulls pushing each other out of the ring)

Independence Day -- Uzbekistan

International Bacon Day -- good day for a double decker BLT with grilled onions and Swiss cheese

Japanese Festival -- St. Louis, MO (celebrating the history, culture, and people of Japan at the Missouri Botanical Garden; through Monday)

National Cherry Popover Day

National No Rhyme (Nor Reason) Day -- the day to celebrate the amazing words in the English language that do not rhyme with any other words

Nutt Day -- for Emma M. Nutt, the first female telephone operator

Oyster Season begins

Partridge's Day -- patridge hunting season begins in UK

Presidential Message Day -- Mexico

Random Acts of Kindness Day -- New Zealand

Sing A Silly Song in Bed Day -- now, this one has no real rhyme or reason

Sneeze-Wobbling Festival -- Fairy Calendar

St. Fiacre's Day -- Ireland and France (the rest of the church celebrates this Patron of gardeners on August 30)

St. Gideon the Judge's Day (Patron of Saint-Gedeon-de-Beauce, Canada)

St. Giles' Day (Patron of the beggars, blacksmiths, breast feeding, cancer patients, disabled/handicapped people, epileptics, forests, hermits, horses, lepers, mentally ill people, noctiphobics, paupers and the poor, rams, spur makers, woods; Edinburgh, Scotland; Toifa, Italy; against breast cancer, epilepsy, fear of the night, insanity, leprosy, mental illness, noctiphobia, sterility)

St. Simeon Stylites' Day -- Eastern Orthodox Christian

Teacher's Day -- Singapore

Wattle Day -- Australia


Birthdays Today:

Gloria Estefan, 1957
Dr. Phil McGraw, 1950
Barry Gibb, 1946
Lily Tomlin, 1939
Seiji Ozawa, 1935
Conway Twitty, 1933
"Boxcar" Willie, 1931
Rocky Marciano, 1923
Yvonne DeCarlo, 1922
Vittorio Gassman, 1922
Edgar Rice Burroughts, 1875
Englebert Humperdinck. 1854 (composer, esp of opera Hansel and Gretel)
Johann Pachelbel, 1653


Today in History:

Rabbi Moses Ben Nachman establishes a Jewish community in Jerusalem, 1267
Adi Granth, now known as Guru Granth Sahib, the holy scripture of Sikhs, was first installed at Harmandir Sahib, 1601
The first yacht race is held, between England's King Charles I and his brother James, 1661
Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa forms in California, 1772
Juno, one of the largest main belt asteroids, is discovered by German astronomer Karl Ludwig Harding, 1804
Narcissa Whitman, one of the first white women to settle west of the
Rocky Mountains, arrives at Walla Walla, Washington, 1836
The first Pullman sleeping car is put into service, 1859
The Solar Superstorm/Carrington Event: a huge solar sunspot and solar flare storm that disrupted telegraphy and allowed the Aurora Borealis to be seen as far south as the Caribbean occurs, 1859
Joseph Lister performs the first antiseptic surgery, 1865
Robert T. Freeman becomes the first African American to graduate from the Harvard Dental School, 1867
The first underground rapid transit system in North America, the Boston Subway, opens, 1897
One of the first science fiction films ever, A Trip To The Moon, opens in France, 1902
Alberta and Saskatchewan become the 8th and 9th Canadian provinces, 1905
Martha, the last passenger pigeon, dies at the Cincinnati Zoo, 1914
The United States, Australia and New Zealand sign a mutual defense pact, called the ANZUS Treaty, 1951
In Reykjavík, Iceland, American Bobby Fischer beats Russian Boris Spassky and becomes the world chess champion, 1972
Canada adopts the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms as part of its Constitution, 1982
A joint French-American expedition locates the wreckage of the RMS Titanic, 1985
Luxembourg becomes the first nation to complete the transition to all digital tv broadcasting, 2006