Things i've heard around here lately.
"Mom, I think I want to know what it's like to be seriously sleep deprived. Do you think I could get into one of those studies where they keep you up for five days straight to see what happens?" Bigger Girl came home from school asking this.
Well, i'm not sure you want to do that, i noted. It's really not healthy.
"I know, but it would be interesting. And by the way, they've found that after an extended period of wakefulness like that, you only need one good, long 15 hour stretch of sleep to get back to normal. By the way, did it ever occur to you that maybe religious belief is more like schizophrenia than anything else?"
No, i answered, i can't say i've ever thought of that.
"There's been another snafu at work," Sweetie came in saying.
What is it this time? i asked.
"Well, some boxes were sent off that shouldn't have been, but since I wasn't there they can't blame me. It's another case of the right hand not knowing what the left hand is doing."
"Oh, are you talking about politicians?" Bigger Girl walked in and asked, when she heard that. "They never know what they are doing, even when they pass the laws!"
Yeah, that too, i said wryly.
Upon hearing a noise i couldn't identify, i peeked around the side of the house and saw hair that could only belong to Festus.
Festus! i exclaimed. Are you breaking something at my house again?
"No, ma'am. I'm trying to fix the fence I broke before, but now I can't get the sword unstuck from it."
Very well, i sighed. Carry on.
#1 Son walked into the kitchen with some type of coffee drink in a can. The can had a neat little hole in the side, and he was holding the liquid in, although a bit seeped out from around his finger.
"Festus shot my coffee can!" he exclaimed.
Why? i asked.
"Because they are nuts with those airsoft guns!" he answered, meaning Festus and #2 Son.
Later, i asked Festus about it and he said, "Well, I knew from the angle and the fact that i was so close to it, that it wouldn't leak much!" (He is at a magnet high school in all honors classes, including in the sciences, and has the highest GPA at the whole school -- has since he started attending. That's why the kid is so scary, he's brilliant as well as destructive. He probably could have mathematically proven why the can wouldn't leak much from that angle.)
About an hour after that, i came across #2 Son, with one of the airsoft rifles.
"Pardon me while I stuff this shotgun in my pants!" he said as he stuffed it down and covered the top with his coat.
Son, i noted, you do not have a concealed carry permit!
"Mom, it's an airsoft, and I'm not leaving our property. I'm hunting for Festus while he hunts for me."
Son, i further noted, not to sound like one of your favorite movies or anything, but, you do realize you can actually shoot someone's eye out with one of those things.
"Yeah, well, that's not going to happen," he said.
And you know this because? i asked.
"Because we never aim above the waist!" he grinned.
Bake Cookies Day -- the holiday for everyone!
Eponalia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (feast of Epona, goddess of fertility and horses, mules, and donkeys; during the Saturnalia and the only Roman honoring of a Celtic deity)
Flake Appreciation Day -- snow or human, your choice!
Free Shipping Day -- with 386 participating merchants so far
Hug a Soccer Player Day -- this "holiday" has a Facebook page, but no other history
Icelandic Yuletide Lad of the Day, Hurdaskellir -- Door-Slammer, a noisy fellow who tries to keep everyone awake
International Answer the Phone like Buddy the Elf Day -- for fans of the film Elf, starring Will Ferrel
International Migrants Day -- UN
Khoiak Ceremony for the Sokar Festival -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (falcon god; date approximate)
Let's See What We Find In the Fridge Day -- to bravely see if you've left anything in the back that you shouldn't have
National Day / Founder's Day -- Qatar
National Roast Suckling Pig Day
National Scrooge Week begins -- at least according to Mr. Ed
Nuestra Senora de la Soledad -- Oaxaca, Mexico (Our Lady of Solitude, Patron of the lonely, of Oaxaca, and of sailors who bring her pearls)
Republic Day -- Niger
St. Flannan's Day (Patron of Killaloe, Ireland)
Tulya's E'en -- Orkney Island (beginning of the Yule season when evil spirits roamed; date approximate, as we aren't sure if they equated Yule initially with Dec. 25 or the 22nd)
Urs of Hazrat Shah Abdul Latif Bhitai -- Sihdh, Pakistan (festival celebration of the Shah's birth anniversary)
Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day -- observe this internet generated holiday at your own risk (and you will be one of the human flakes, i guess, that the rest of us appreciate)*
Benazir Bhutto, Pakistan's future president, marries Asif Ali Zardari, 1987
Capitol Reef National Park established, Utah, US, 1971
The 13th Amendment to the US Constitution, outlawing slavery, takes effect, 1865
New Jersey becomes the 3rd US State, 1787
Christina Aguilera, 1980
Katie Holmes, 1978
Earl "DMX" Simmons, 1970
Rob Van Dam, 1970
Rachel Griffiths, 1968
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin, 1964
Brad Pitt, 1963
Ray Liotta, 1955
Leonard Maltin, 1950
Steven Spielberg, 1946
Keith Richards, 1943
Ossie Davis, 1917
Eddie "Cleanhead" Vinson, 1917
Douglas Fraser, 1916
Betty Grable, 1916
Willy Brandt, 1913
Benjamin O. Davis, Jr., 1912
Ty Cobb, 1886
Joseph Grimaldi, 1778
"The Sunshine Boys"(Play), 1972
"To Tell The Truth"(TV), 1956
"The Nutcracker"(Ballet), 1892
Today in History:
Second Punic War: Battle of the Trebia - Hannibal's Carthaginian forces defeat those of the Roman Republic, BC218
Kublai Khan renames his empire "Yuan", officially marking the start of the Yuan Dynasty of China, 1271
The Mayflower lands in present-day Plymouth, Massachusetts with 102 Pilgrims on board, 1620
Abel Tasman becomes first European to land in New Zealand, 1642
Thomas Fleet publishes "Mother Goose's Melodies For Children", 1719
Empress Maria Theresa expels Jews from Prague, Bohemia & Moravia, 1774
The first celestial photograph (of the Moon) is made in US, by John Draper, NYC, 1839
William Bond obtains the first photograph of Moon through a telescope, 1849
Richard Wetherill and his brother in-law discover the ancient Indian ruins of Mesa Verde, 1888
The Upper Ferntree Gully to Gembrook Narrow-gauge (2 ft 6 in or 762 mm) Railway (now the Puffing Billy Railway) in Victoria, Australia is opened for traffic, 1900
The Piltdown Man, later discovered to be a hoax, is supposedly found in the Piltdown Gravel Pit, by Charles Dawson, 1912
Japan joins the United Nations, 1956
Saturn's moon Epimetheus is discovered by Richard L. Walker, 1966
Dominica joins the United Nations, 1978
HTML 4.0 is published by the World Wide Web Consortium, 1997
The first of a series of floods strikes Malaysia, 2006
*Unless this should have been Wear A Brand New, Never Before Used Plunger on Your Head Day, and was started by the plumbing supply industry
Early Awww Monday July 22, 2018
17 minutes ago