Boudreaux is at the bar on Saturday night, as usual, and a stranger is there getting very drunk and very loudly trying to impress everyone with how strong he is and with his fighting ability.
"I'm an expert at several different types of hand-to-hand combat!" he brags, and adds, "I'll show you!"
He walks up to Boudreaux and strikes him and yells, "That was a Karate chop I learned from my trainer in China!"
Boudreaux picks himself up off the floor, sits back down, takes a sip of his beer, and tries to ignore the guy. This man will not be ignored, however, so he comes up to Boudreaux again, this time throwing Boudreaux over his shoulder and onto the floor.
"That's a Judo move I learned from my trainer in Japan!" he yelled.
Again, Boudreaux gets up, ignores the man, and tries to go back to his beer. This guy just won't let it go, however, and he grabs Boudreaux by the neck, calling out, "This is a nerve pinch I learned from my trainer in Korea!"
This time, as Boudreaux begins to move, he doesn't get back on the bar stool. He heads out of the door, and ten minutes later is back with a large piece of wood in his hand.
Walking up behind the drunk, he smacks the guy unconscious, looks down at the prostrate form and says, "Dat's a two-by-four I got from my frien' Landry's hardware store!"
Apple Howling Day -- Henfield, West Sussex (Held at Gill Orchard, always on Epiphany Eve, horn blowing and howling at the trees is said to wake them up and yield a good crop.)
Armenian Christmas Eve -- Armenia (Old Chrismas Day in the West)
Can Opener Day -- one of the earliest forms of can opener was patented this date in 1858 by Ezra Warner of CT, US (tin cans had been around for over 50 years by then, usually opened with a knife or hammer and chisel)
Epiphany Fair -- Piazza Navona, Rome, Italy (toys, sweets, and presents among the beautiful Bernini Fountains)
Get on the Computer Day -- obviously dates back to a time when people didn't have to check email daily or get inundated
Guru Gobindh Singh birthday -- Sikh
Harbin Ice Festival -- Harbin, China (illuminated ice sculptures, ice sports, and fun through Chinese New Year and beyond; in 2014, through Feb. 28)
Joma Shinji Festival -- Kamakura, Japan (ceremony and festival to keep evil spirits away)
Mungday -- Discordianism (festival of St. Hung Mung)
Nones of January -- Ancient Roman Calendar; also Festival of Vica Pota (ancient goddess of victory)
Review Your Wrestling Holds Day -- internet generated, and weird
St. Gerlac of Valkenberg's Day (Patron of domestic animals)
St. Simeon Stylites' Day (The original and most maniacal of the "Pillar Saints")
Take the Cake Day -- a day to do something, anything, over the top, just because
Trettondagsafton -- Sweden (Epiphany Eve)
Turn Up the Heat Day -- all over the internet, but no one explains it
Twelfth Day of Christmas -- and thus, Twelfth Night (Although by some reckonings, this is actually only the 11th day of Christmas, and thus Twelfth Night Eve. Take your pick.)
Ullr Festival -- Breckenridge, CO, US (festival of the mythical Norse god of winter; through the 11th)
George Washington marries Martha Dandridge Custis, 1759
January Jones, 1978 Bradley Cooper, 1975 Warrick Dunn, 1975 Carrie Ann Inaba, 1968 Pamela Sue Martin, 1953 Diane Keaton, 1946 Charlie Rose, 1942 Juan Carlos I, King of Spain, 1938 Umberto Eco, 1932 Alvin Ailey, 1931 Robert Duvall, 1931 Walter Mondale, 1928 George Reeves, 1914 George Dolenz, 1908 Jeannette Ridlon Piccard, 1895 King Camp Gillette, 1855 Edmund Ruffin, 1794 Constanze Mozart, 1762 (wife of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart) Pietro Filippo Scarlotti, 1679 Shah Jahal, 1592 (Mughal emperor of India, built the Taj Mahal)
"All My Children"(TV), 1970 "Bozo the Clown"(TV), 1959 "The Member of the Wedding"(Play), 1950 "Pepe LePew"(cartoon character, in "Odor-able Kitty"), 1945
Today in History:
Edward the Confessor dies with no heir, leading to a succession crisis that ends with the Norman Conquest, 1066 Felix Manz, a leader of the Anabaptist congregation in Zürich, is executed by drowning, 1527 Pope Clemens VII forbids English king Henry VIII to re-marry, 1531 A petition in Recife, Brazil leads to closing of their 2 synagogues, 1638 Anne Clarke of the Massachusetts Bay Colony is granted the first divorce in the colonies, from her absent and adulterous husband, Denis Clarke, by the Quarter Court of Boston, Massachusetts, 1643 The first Swedenborgian temple in the US holds its first service, in Baltimore, 1800 The Ohio legislature passes the first laws restricting the movement of free blacks, 1804 Davy Crockett arrives in Texas, just in time for the Alamo, 1836 The US House of Representatives votes to stop sharing the Oregon Territory with the UK, 1846 The first US school of librarianship opens at Columbia University, 1887 An Austrian newspaper makes the first public report on Wilhelm Roentgen's discovery of xrays, 1896 The National Association of Audubon Society incorporates, 1905 Colombia recognizes Panama's independence, 1909 The Ford Motor Company announces an eight-hour workday and a minimum wage of $5 for a day's labor, 1914 British premier Lloyd George issues a demand for a unified peace, 1918 Nellie Taylor Ross is sworn in as governor of Wyoming, the first woman governor of a US state, 1925 Mao Tse-tung writes "A Single Spark Can Start A Prairie Fire," 1930 FM radio is demonstrated to the Federal Communications Commission for the first time, 1940 The Daily Mail becomes the first transoceanic newspaper, 1944 Warmest reliably measured temperature in Antarctica of +59°F (+15°C) recorded at Vanda Station, 1974 Eris, the largest known dwarf planet in the solar system, is discovered, 2005