Tuesday, June 30, 2015

No, i don't want their job!

It's Tech Support Appreciation Day!

We joke about terrible tech support, because sometimes it does happen.  When it does, you can usually put it under just plain bad customer service or the company's "software" (techies) not being people friendly.  But what does tech support have to put up with from customers?  Sometimes you'd be amazed.

Here are a few samples.

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, You've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
*******************
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
*******************
Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.'
Advisor: 'I will remove them for you.'
Customer: 'How do I get them back when she is not in?'
*******************
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it into the computer yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
********************
During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyParis"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
********************
Customer: My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can't get in.
Advisor: Has he forgotten it?
Customer: No he just won't tell me it because I've grounded him.
*******************
Customer:  All my files I saved last week to my C: drive are missing!' 
Tech Support: 'Do you remember what directory you first saved them in?' 
Customer: 'No, I don't . I just know it was on my C: drive.' 
Tech Support: 'Ok, I'll walk you through how to find the files.' 
Customer: 'I wouldn't think I would be losing files on this computer. Gee, I just had the hard drive replaced in it yesterday.'
********************
Tech Support: 'All right, can you insert the disk in the disk drive please?' 
Customer: 'How?' 
Tech Support: 'Place the disk in the opening at the front of the computer.' 
Customer: 'Will I have to have my computer delivered before we can do this'
Tech Support: 'Um yes, that might be an idea.'
********************
Tech Support: 'Have you made backups of your software and data?' 
Customer: 'I didn't know it had a reverse.'
********************
Customer: 'I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word.' 
Tech Support: 'Tell me what You've done.' 
Customer: 'I typed A:SETUP.'
Tech Support: 'Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.' 
Customer: 'It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'.
Tech Support: 'Insert the MS Word setup disk.'  
Customer: 'What?' 
Tech Support: 'Did you buy Microsoft Word?' 
Customer: 'No.'

******************

Tech Support: 'Thank you for calling.  May I have your phone number beginning with the area code first, please?' There was a pregnant pause, then a series of touch tones.Tech Support: 'Hello? I need your phone number, please'. More touch tones.
Tech Support: 'Hi, can you hear me?' 
Customer: 'Yes.' 
Tech Support: 'Great, then can you please tell me your phone number so I can pull up your file?' More touch tones.
Tech Support: 'Sir, what's your name?' 
Customer: Malcolm
Tech Support: 'Great, now can you tell me your phone number?' Touch tones again.
Tech Support: 'Please, tell me your phone number.' 
Customer: 'Again?' 
Tech Support: 'Yes sir, if you don't mind, but can you please just tell me verbally?' Touch tones yet again.
Tech Support: 'Sir, contrary to popular opinion, support is not half machine. I'll need you to verbally tell me your phone number with your mouth so I can bring up your account info, got it?' 
Customer: 'You people are rude as well as incompetent.' 


May all of us have a great day, and not need tech support!



Today is

Aizen Matsuri -- Shoman-in Temple, Osaka, Japan (celebration of Aizen Myo-oh, greatest of the 8 Buddhist guardian gods, and is also called the Yakuta Festival; through July 2)

Armed Forces Day -- Guatemala

Crab Races -- Fairy Calendar (Pixies, Elves, and some Fairies)

Day of Aestas -- Ancient Roman Calendar (culmination of the festival that begins the summer)

Feast of the First Martyrs of the Church of Rome -- remembrance of the first Christians killed in Rome by order of Nero as scapegoats for the fire in Rome

General Prayer Day -- Central African Republic

Hampton Court Palace Flower Show -- Hampton Court Palace, East Molesey, Surrey, England (the world's largest flower show; through Sunday)

Independence Day -- Democratic Republic of the Congo (formerly Zaire)(1960)

Leap Second Time Adjustment Day -- if one is needed

Meteor Day -- because of the Tuskunga Event

National Corvette Day -- US (vehicle introduced this day in 1953)

National Ice Cream Soda Day

Ommegang Pageant -- Grand-Palace, Brussels, Belgium (three days of recreating of the medieval entertainment at the court of Charles V)

Pridie Kalendas July (Day Before the Kalends of July) -- Ancient Roman Calendar (a day when dies comitiales -- citizen committees -- voted on political and criminal matters)

Revolution Day -- Sudan(1989)

Sata-Hame Accordion Festival -- Ikaalinen, Finland (one of the worlds biggest and best accordion festivals; through Sunday)

St. Theobald of Provins' day (Patron of bachelors)

Tech Support Appreciation Day -- if you can get a hold of them, they can be great to have around
The North American Tournament -- Spruce Meadows, Calgary, AB, Canada (show jumping tournament, through Sunday)



Anniversary Today:

Greg Allman marries Cher, 1975


Birthdays Today:

Michael Phelps, 1985
Fantasia Barrino, 1984
Ralf Schumacher, 1975
Michael Gerard (Mike) Tyson, 1966
Rupert Graves, 1963
Vincent D’Onofrio, 1959
David Alan Grier, 56, 1955
Leonard Whiting, 1950
Patricia Schroeder, 1940
Nancy Dussault, 1936
Harry Blackstone, Jr., 1934
Susan Hayward, 1919
Lena Horne, 1917
Czeslaw Milosz, 1911
William Almon Wheeler, 1819


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Johnny Carson Show"(TV), 1955
"Guiding Light"(TV), 1947
"Brenda Starr, Reporter"(Comic strip), 1940



Today in History:

Jews are expelled from Berne Switzerland, 1294
The Spaniards are expelled from Tenochtitlan, 1520
Native American forces under Blue Jacket attack Fort Recovery, Ohio, 1794
French  acrobat  Charles Blondin crosses Niagara Falls on a tightrope, 1859
The 1860 Oxford evolution debate at the Oxford University Museum of Natural History takes place, 1860
The first transcontinental train trip across Canada departs from Montreal; it arrives in Port Moody, British Columbia on July 4, 1886
Albert Einstein publishes the article "On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies", in which he introduces special relativity, 1905
The Tunguska event, probably caused by a meteor or comet fragment, occurs in remote Siberia, 1908
The Regina Cyclone hits Regina, Saskatchewan, killing 28; it remains Canada's deadliest tornado event, 1912
Congo gains independence from Belgium, 1960
The first leap second is added to the UTC  time system, 1972
The Royal Canadian Mint introduces the $1 coin, known as the Loonie, 1987
East Germany and West Germany merge their economies, 1990
The United Kingdom transfers sovereignty over Hong Kong to the People's Republic of China, 1997
After nearly 7 years in space, the Cassini spacecraft becomes the first to orbit the planet Saturn, 2004
The Molecule of the Year 2011 is announced, BMP7 (Bone Morphogenetic Protein 7), a potential therapeutic utility for recurrent metastatic disease, 2012

7 comments:

  1. But there is all the design of web pages, PCs, and software that is far less than intuitive. I can get by, but it is creates awful interfaces for most of the users!

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  2. Bwahahahahahaha. These are very good. A spinoff of what I did a few days ago. The weirdness just goes on and on. Bless all those that put up with us when we call.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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  3. LMAO good ones, tech support must go through patience training LOL

    Have a techtastic daay :-)

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  4. I'm a moron when it comes to computers and I need all the tech support I can get, even though I usually can't answer their complicated question, like is my modem plugged in.

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  5. some of those were really good. :)

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  6. probably a thankless job, but incredibly entertaining too. ha
    I totally buy the one about the hubby hiding the pop ups.

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  7. I agree all tech support must first of all do a training course in patience. I know I've tested the patience of a few of them in my time. Thanks for the laughs.

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