Silly Sunday: Learning to Drive

Silly Sunday is hosted by Sandee, of Comedy Plus.

Silly Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs.  The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

1. Post a joke.
2. Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
3. Read my joke.
4. Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
5. Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.
6. Go to Sandee's site, linked above, and get the Silly Sunday code for your blog, too!

Vacation is a wonderful thing.

Driving down here is a bear.  Traffic comes to a near stop in some places on I-10, and a complete stop when you get to Mobile Bay, trying to go through the tunnel.  You would think some of the people out on the roads had never driven before by the way they behave.

If it were not for the fabulous destination, it wouldn't be worth the trip.

All the driving difficulties remind me of back when dey was firs' buildin' I-10, when Boudreaux was jes' learnin' him how to drive.

He had done practiced on de roads dat was close to de bayou, but now he want to take his wife Clothile and go get on dem bigger roads.

So he get him on de new I-10, an' he be doin' 10 mile per hour, an' ever'body be honkin' an' swervin' to get aroun' him, an' fin'ly Officer Lacour done pull him over.

"Boudreaux!" say Officer Lacour.  "What you t'ink you be doin', goin' so slow on dis here highway!  You gots to go faster dan dat, you gone cause a wreck!"

And Boudreaux say, "But I was doin' what de sign say!  It say '10'"

"Dat be de highway number, not de speed!" say Officer Lacour.  Den he point to two sign an say, "Dat one be de speed sign, an dat one be de one dat say what highway you on.  Got it?"

"Oui, I gots it!" Boudreaux say.

Den Officer Lacour see dat Clothile, she look white as a sheet, an' he ax her, "You be okay, Clothile?  You look scared!"

"Mais!" say Clothile.  "Where you be back when he were drivin' on Highway 98?"

Today is

Arbor Day -- Aston-on-Clun, Shropshire, England (a Poplar tree in town is decorated and left that way year round; probably associated with Oak Apple Day)

Bicycle Race Day -- anniversary of what is supposed to have been the first bicycle race ever, at the Parc de Saint-Cloud, Paris, in 1868

Dia de Castilla-La Mancha -- Castile-La Mancha, Spain

Doha Document for Peace in Darfur Commemoration -- Sudan

English Riviera Dance Festival -- Torquay, Devon, England (learn ballroom dance, or take a master class, all levels are welcome, with Gala Evenings where you can dance the night away; through June 2)

Feast of the Visitation of Mary -- Christianity (Mary's visit of her cousin Elizabeth, chronicled in Luke 1:39-56)

Lailat al-Bara'ah (Shab Barat) -- Islam (Night of Forgiveness, a preparation for Ramadan; begins at sunset, local custom dates may vary)

"Make My Day" Day -- birth anniversary of Clint Eastwood

Mother's Day -- Algeria; Dominican Republic; France; French Antilles; Haiti; Mauritius; Morocco; Sweden; Tunisia

National Macaroon Day

Palio Dei Balestrieri -- Gubbio, Italy (the last Sunday of May always sees a medieval crossbow contest between the town of Gubbio and the town of Sansepolcro, with medieval costumes and arms)

Pentecost -- Orthodox Christians using the Julian Calendar

Royal Brunei Malay Regiment Day / Royal Brunei Armed Forces Day -- Brunei

Save Your Hearing Day -- because once it is gone, you will regret it; on the anniversary of the concert by The Who in 1976 which set a Guiness World Record for loudest rock concert ever

Speak in Complete Sentences Day -- be a good example!

St. Petronilla's Day (Patron of mountain travellers; against fever)

Take This Job and Shove It Day -- birth anniversary of Johnny Paycheck

This Day (again) -- Fairy Calendar

Trinity Sunday -- Christian

What You Think Upon Grows Day -- Stephanie West Allen wants you to remember the power of positive thinking

World No Tobacco Day -- WHO


Birthdays Today:

Jonathan Tucker, 1982
Colin Farrell, 1976
Phil Keoghan, 1967
Brooke Shields, 1965
Lea Thompson, 1961
Chris Elliot, 1960
Roma Maffia, 1958
Kyle Secor, 1958
Gregory Harrison, 1950
Tom Berenger, 1950
John Bonham, 1948
Sharon Gless, 1943
Joe Namath, 1943
Johnny Paycheck, 1941
Terry Waite, 1939
Peter Yarrow, 1938
Clint Eastwood, 1930
Patricia Roberts Harris, 1924
Prince Rainier of Monaco, 1923
Denholm Elliott, 1922
Don Ameche, 1908
Norman Vincent Peale, 1898
Fred Allen, 1894
Walt Whitman, 1819


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Survivor"(TV), 2000
"Seinfeld"(TV), 1990
"Beatlemania"(Musical), 1977


Today in History:

Rameses II (The Great) becomes pharaoh of Ancient Egypt, BC1279
A devastating earthquake strikes Antioch, Turkey, killing 250,000, 526
Mongol armies of Genghis Khan led by Subutai defeat Kievan Rus and Cumans, 1223
Citing poor eyesight, Samuel Pepys records the last event in his diary, 1669
The Godiva procession through Coventry begins, 1678
The Province of Pennsylvania bans all theater productions, 1759
In Australia, Lawson, Blaxland and Wentworth, reached Mount Blaxland, effectively marking the end of a route across the Blue Mountains, 1813
In the Fenian Invasion of Canada, John O'Neill leads 850 Fenian raiders across the Niagara River at Buffalo, New York/Fort Erie, Ontario, as part of an effort to free Ireland from the United Kingdom. Canadian militia and British regulars repulse the invaders in over the next three days, 1866
Dr James Moore of the UK wins the first recorded bicycle race, a 2k velocipede race at Parc de St Cloud, Paris, 1868
Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patents corn flakes, 1884
Arrival at Plymouth of Tawhiao, King of Maoris, to claim protection of Queen Victoria, 1884
Over 2,200 people die after a dam break sends a 60-foot (18-meter) wall of water over the town of Johnstown, Pennsylvania, 1889
The Union of South Africa (predecessor of the Republic of South Africa) is created, 1910
The last Ford Model T rolls off the assembly line after a production run of 15,007,003 vehicles, 1927
A 7.1 magnitude Earthquake destroys Quetta in modern-day Pakistan, 1931
The Republic of South Africa is created, 1961
The Ancash earthquake causes a landslide  that buries the town of Yungay, Peru, 1970
In accordance with the Uniform Monday Holiday Act passed by the U.S. Congress in 1968, observation of Memorial Day occurs on the last Monday in May for the first time, rather than on the traditional Memorial Day of May 30, 1971
The Muppet Movie, Jim Henson's Muppets' first foray into the world of feature length motion pictures, is released, 1979
The burning of Jaffna Library, Sri Lanka, is one of the violent examples of ethnic biblioclasm of the twentieth century, 1981
Forty-one tornadoes hit Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, and Ontario, leaving 76 dead, 1985
Athena 98.4 FM, the first legal private radio station in Greece, starts broadcasting, 1987
Vanity Fair reveals that Mark Felt was Deep Throat, 2005
Asteroid 1998 QE2, an asteroid measuring nearly 1.7 miles across, and its moon, pass within 3.6 million miles of the earth, 2013

Our Favorite Vacation Spot!

Today i am linking up with the Favorite Summer Vacation Spot blog hop, because, well, we are leaving for vacation today!

The blog hop co-hosts are:

Lexa Cain: http://lexacain.blogspot.com/

Melanie Karsak: http://www.melaniekarsak.com/

T.F. Walsh: http://www.tfwalsh.com/blog/

Vanessa Morgan: http://vanessa-morgan.blogspot.com/

Jolie Du Pre: http://www.preciousmonsters.com/

Stuart R. West: http://stuartrwest.blogspot.com/

While i'm not certain it is our favorite vacation spot (i love Disney World, too!), it is certainly our second favorite and the most common one we go to.

Of what am i speaking?

Of the 22nd Annual Cram Everyone in a Two-Bedroom Condo at the Beach for a Week, Family Should Be Close But Not This Close Vacation, of course!

Yes, grab the sun screen and hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!

It's time again for sand in our shorts, salt breezes in the air, and hearing the children yell, "Hey!  Who swiped my beach towel!"

We stay at a condo complex on Perdido Key, a hop up from Pensacola, a jump down from Orange Beach and Gulf Shores, and a couple of miles from the Flora-Bama Bar, where us half-heathen Protestants will attend the Sunday church service.  (Yes, in a bar, 10am every Sunday.  You may never darken the door of a church, but coming to a bar to hear the Word preached just might be downright comfortable for you.  The Catholics among us will attend daily Mass at St. Thomas-by-the-Sea.) 

As per our usual, we will be swimming at both the beach and in the pools, playing in the sand, shopping, going to the zoo (The Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo, dubbed "The Little Zoo That Could" by The Discovery Channel) and the Naval Air Museum, fishing from the dock for the Friday night dinner fish fry and, my favorite vacation activity -- checking the insides of the eyelids for cracks!

We leave today, come back next Saturday, and in the meanwhile this year's cast of characters is:

Grandpa -- patriarch and vacation organizer, a/k/a Doc, or Dr. Born Organized Clean.  Not just a Mr. Clean, a Dr. Clean who is so hyper-organized that when Hurricane Katrina threatened New Orleans he packed his entire life into 6 small file boxes, a bag, and a valise.  He could easily have restarted his whole life with just what he brought with him.  The big loves of his life are The Good Lord, medicine, murder mysteries, and his family, most especially the grandchildren.

Grandma -- matriarch, a/k/a Miss Prissy.  An artist, singer, shopper, and clothes horse. You don't want to know how much she packed for the evacuation.

Uncle P -- the elder of my two younger brothers.  Has spent several years doing mission work within the US, and is currently doing home care for senior citizens.  It's what he loves, taking care of people!  He will be coming only from Sunday through Tuesday, as he has to get back to work.

Evelyn -- Uncle P's friend.  They met while doing mission work.  It might become more than friendship someday, or it might not, but they are good friends either way.  She will be riding in and leaving with Uncle P.

Uncle J -- the younger of my two younger brothers.  A single dad with primary custody of the two kids, he could have been a con artist as he could sell eggs to a chicken farmer.  It's a good thing he uses his talent for making an honest living, but don't challenge him at video games, he will figure a way to "game" the system!

Bryn -- Uncle J's daughter.  Now 14 and a far cry from the "pest" my children used to think she was.  Although i will admit one of her favorite pastimes is picking on her younger brother.

Bryn's Friend -- as yet an unknown quantity, Bryn is at the age where she wants to start bringing someone to help her stay entertained.  Since i've never met the friend, i can't say anything about her.

Dre -- Bryn's younger brother, Uncle J's son.  At 10, girls are still icky and baths should still be optional.

Bigger Girl -- my and Sweetie's oldest daughter, who will be coming down on Tuesday and heading back on Thursday (that's all she could get off of work).  Musical and artistic like Grandma, she's a philosopher who is brave enough to prod cattle into a chute at the biological research station and gentle enough to nurture baby kittens.  Just don't expose her to small children, she does not do well with them.  In fact, she sometimes dresses somewhat Goth because she says it's "soccer mom repellent."

Little Girl -- our youngest child, who will be coming with Bigger Girl for the three days only.  Straight A student who loves swim team and gets along with everyone.  She also inherited Grandma's artistic bent, and is seriously considering going into medicine like Grandpa.

Junior -- not a relative, but another friend, this time of Bigger Girl.  He loves to cook as long as no one is in the kitchen with him, and you come running in to taste when he says so.  A very hard worker and someone who, as Bigger Girl says, desperately needs a couple of days away from his two jobs!

#2 Son -- the budding chef and anchor of his area in the kitchen at the restaurant where he works.  He also still loves the outdoors, hunting, fishing, and the catching and releasing of snakes.

Friend Becky -- coming along because of the budding of romance between her and #2 Son.  She loves animals, and i guess in some ways he still qualifies (as do most teen boys).

Sweetie -- my husband the musician.  He's not a huge fan of beaches, but he likes this area and all the fun things we do.  Make sure he has his guitar and amp with him, and he's set.

And finally there's me, the one called upon to stay calm in every situation and keep up with the laundry, just like at home!

So remember, folks, if we weren't having fun yet, this wouldn't be the 22nd Annual!

Today is

Anguilla Day -- Anguilla

Arrival Day -- Trinidad and Tobago

California Artichoke Festival -- Castroville, CA, US (lots of fun in the Artichoke Capital of the World; through tomorrow)

Dia de Canarias -- CN, Spain (Canary Island Day)

Dia de las Madres -- Nicaragua(Mother's Day)

Einherjar -- Asatru (Modern Norse Pagan) Calendar (a memorial for the war dead in Valhalla)

Feast Day of St. Joan of Arc (Patron of captives, martyrs, opposition of Church authorities, people ridiculed for their piety, prisoners, rape victims, soldiers, WACs, WAVES; France)

Heirloom Seed Day -- While i can't find the history of this one, it's a good one to celebrate, we need to raise awareness of and preserve heirloom seeds

Indian Arrival Day -- Trinidad and Tobago (anniversary of the 1845 arrival of the first Indian laborers to Trinidad)

Isle of Man Tourist Trophy -- Isle of Man (through June 12; two weeks of the finest road racing on earth)

Lod Massacre Remembrance Day -- Puerto Rico

Loomis Day -- because if we are going to honor Marconi, we should also honor the Washington, D.C., dentist Mahlon Loomis, who patented a wireless telegraphy system before Marconi was even born

Missouri State Championship Racking Horse Show -- Stoddard County Fairgrounds, Dexter, MO, US (an afternoon and evening of excellent and elegant showmanship)

My Bucket's Got a Hole In It Day -- this one may be listed on another day as well, since no two sites agree; mercy, just go get a new one already! or go get out your Hank Williams records

National Mint Julep Day

St. Walstan of Bawburgh's Day (Patron of agricultural workers, farmers and farm workers, field hands, husbandmen)

This Day -- Fairy Calendar

Tohoku Rokkon Matsuri -- Yamagata City, Japan (a special matsuri, bringing together six major festivals from the district that was hard hit by the 2011 earthquake; through tomorrow)

Water a Flower Day -- no sponsor or reason given for this day, except that the spring rains are slowing and you don't want your garden to wilt

Wicket World of Croquet® Day 2015 -- The Benjamin Harrison Presidential Site, Indianapolis, IN, US (croquet tournament fundraiser, includes an Alice and Friends game for the little ones) 


Anniversaries Today:

Henry VIII marries Jane Seymore, 1536


Birthdays Today:

Blake Bashoff, 1981
Trey Parker, 1972
Wynonna Judd, 1964
Tom Morello, 1964
Ted McGinley, 1958
Colm Meaney, 1953
Stephen Tobolowsky, 1951
Meredith MacRae, 1945
Gale Eugene Sayers, 1943
Michael J. Pollard, 1939
Keir Dullea, 1936
Clint Walker, 1927
Benny Goodman, 1909
Mel Blanc, 1908
Countee Cullen, 1903
Peter Carl Fabergé, 1846
Czar Peter the Great, 1672


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Paperback Writer"(Single release), 1966
"War Requiem"(Britten Op. 66), 1962
"Odisséia de uma raça / Odyssey of a Race"(Villa-Lobos Symphonic poem), 1954
"Prodana nevesta / The Bartered Bride"(Opera), 1866


Today in History:

Titus and his Roman legions breach the Second Wall of Jerusalem; the Jewish defenders retreat to the First Wall, 70
19-year-old Joan of Arc is burned at the stake by an English-dominated tribunal, 1431
In Florida, Hernando de Soto  lands at Tampa Bay with 600 soldiers with the goal of finding gold, 1539
Publication of La Gazette, the first French newspaper, 1631
The Pennsylvania Evening Post become the first daily paper in the US, 1783
John Francis attempts to murder Queen Victoria, 1842
Westminster's Big Ben rang for the first time in London, 1859
Decoration Day (the predecessor of the modern "Memorial Day") is observed in the United States for the first time, 1868
New York City's Gilmores Garden is renamed Madison Square Garden by William Henry Vanderbilt and is opened to the public, 1879
The Treaty of London, 1913, ends the First Balkan War and Albania becomes an independent nation, 1913
In China protests erupt against the Great Powers infringing on Chinese sovereignty, 1925
A dike along the flooding Columbia River breaks, obliterating Vanport, Oregon within minutes, 1948
The Auckland Harbour Bridge, crossing the Waitemata Harbour in Auckland, New Zealand, is officially opened, 1959
launch of Surveyor 1 the first US spacecraft to achieve landing on an extraterrestrial body, 1966
At the Ascot Park in Gardena, California, daredevil Evel Knievel jumps his motorcycle over 16 cars lined up in a row, 1967
Tiananmen Square protests of 1989: the 33-foot high "Goddess of Democracy" statue is unveiled in Tiananmen Square by student demonstrators, 1989
272 days after the September 11 attacks, closing ceremonies are held for the clean up/recovery efforts at the World Trade Center site in New York City. The last remaining steel beam is removed and transported to the Fresh Kills Landfill in Staten Island, 2002
In Germany, Chancellor Angela Merkel pledges to end all nuclear power within 12 years, 2011

Feline Friday: Priorities, People!

Feline Friday is hosted by Steve, The Burnt Food Dude, and i'm going to believe it's because he likes cats.

Feline Friday is simple to join. All you have to do is..

1) post a picture, drawing, cartoon or video of a cat (They may be silly or cute)
2) go to Steve's page, linked above, then on the menu bar click on the Feline Friday tab to get the code
3) paste the code under your cat picture
4) add your name and link

That’s all there is to it! Be sure to check back every so often and visit all the Feline Friday bloggers. Also, please leave a nice comment on their blogs. Nasty comments will be deleted!

HopeCat has an announcement to make:

You may not have your glasses and reading material until you pet me!

Today is

Ambarvalia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (purification festival to Ceres, date approximate)

Ascension of Baha'u'llah -- Baha'i

Bats Day in the Fun Park -- Anaheim, CA, US (includes The Bats Day Happy Haunts Swinging Wake: A Costumed Celebration, a Bat's Day Holiday Black Market, and a Spooky Trip to Disneyland; through Sunday)

Castleton Garland Celebration -- Derbyshire, England (a Garland King and Lady ride the bounds of the parish on white horses, after which the garland the King wore is placed on the church tower; possibly dating back to Oak Apple Celebrations)

Centralia Anchor Festival -- City Square, Centralia, MO, US (anchor driving, archery shoot, tractor show, carnival, crafts, softball and more; through Sunday)

Democracy Day -- Nigeria

End of the Middle Ages Day -- considered such by many historians because of the fall of Constantinople on this day in 1453

Feast of Mars -- Ancient Roman Calendar

Ganatantra Diwas / Republic Day -- Nepal (National Day)

International Day of United Nations Peacekeepers -- UN

Learn About Composting Day -- can't find a sponsor for this day, but there is a week sponsored each year here; and you can learn about composting here, too 

Mount Everest Day -- Nepal (declared on the anniversary of first ascent in 1953)

National Coq Au Vin Day

Oak Apple Day / Royal Oak Day -- England (celebration of the restoration of the monarchy; no longer officially recognized, but many localities have traditions that have grown up around this date which are still celebrated)

Pilgrimages to St Patrick's Purgatory begin -- Station Island, Lough Derg, County Donegal, Ireland (three day pilgrimages to the island where St. Patrick supposedly showed the Irish heathens Purgatory so they would be converted continue through Aug. 15; such pilgrimages date back at least to the 10th century)

Pink Flamingo Day -- Don Feathersone created the first one on this day in 1957

Portland Rose Festival -- Portland, OR, US (over 50 events, including three parades, dragon boat races, and more celebrate a city full of roses; through June 14)

Put a Pillow on Your Fridge Day -- supposedly dating back, in Europe and the Americas, to the days when you put a piece of cloth in your larder for good luck; why it became a pillow no one knows

Runic Half-Month of Odal (home, possessions) commences

Squoosh an Ice Cream Sandwich Day -- rules say you must squoosh, not squish or squash!

St. Bona of Pisa's Day (Patron of couriers, flight attendants, guides, pilgrims, travellers; Pisa, Italy)



Anniversaries Today:

Rhode Island becomes the 13th US State, 1790
Wisconsin becomes the 30th US State, 1848


Birthdays Today:

Noel Gallagher, 1967
Lisa Whelchel, 1963
Melissa Etheridge, 1961
Adrian Paul, 1959
Rupert Everett,1959
Annette Bening, 1958
LaToya Jackson, 1956
Danny Elfman, 1953
Anthony Geary, 1947
Kevin Conway, 1942
Al Unser, Sr., 1939
Francis Thomas "Fay" Vincent, Jr, 1938
Paul Erlich, 1932
John F. Kennedy, 1917
Tenzing Norgay, 1914
T.H. White, 1906
Bob Hope, 1903
Oswald Spengler, 1880
G.K. Chesterton, 1874
Patrick Henry, 1736


Today in History:

Ottoman armies under Sultan Mehmed II Fatih capture Constantinople after a siege, ending the Byzantine Empire, 1453
Charles II (on his birthday) is restored to the throne of Great Britain, 1660
Treaty of Middle Plantation establishes peace between the Virginia colonists and the local Natives, 1677
The right of Canadians to keep Indian slaves is upheld at Quebec City, 1733
In Patrick Henry's historic speech against the Stamp Act, he answers a cry of "Treason!" with, "If this be treason, make the most of it!" 1765
Present constitution of Switzerland takes effect, 1874
Chemist John Pemberton places his first advertisement for Coca-Cola, the ad appearing in the Atlanta Journal, 1886
Igor Stravinsky's ballet score The Rite of Spring receives its premiere performance in Paris, provoking a riot, 1913
Ocean liner RMS Empress of Ireland sinks in the Gulf of St. Lawrence with the loss of 1,024 lives, 1914
Bing Crosby, the Ken Darby Singers and the John Scott Trotter Orchestra record Irving Berlin's "White Christmas", the best-selling Christmas single in history, for Decca Records in Los Angeles, 1942
Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay become the first people to reach the summit of Mount Everest, 1953
First of the annual Bilderberg conferences, 1954
Amputee  Steve Fonyo completes cross-Canada marathon at Victoria, British Columbia, after 14 months, 1985
Space Shuttle Discovery completes the first docking with the International Space Station, 1999
Olusegun Obasanjo takes office as President of Nigeria, the first elected and civilian head of state in Nigeria after 16 years of military rule, 1999
A WWII Memorial is dedicated in Washington, D.C., US, 2004
Scientists describe the 160-million year-old fossile of Aurornis xui as the most basal species of Avialae, possibly shifting the evolutionary position of the Archaeopteryx as the oldest known bird, 2013