Coming from any of my other children, i might not have batted an eye. Coming from Bigger Girl, i knew it was best to just wait and let her blurt it out.
"Remember how I went out with my friend Sammie the other day? Well, we ended up at a place that was right next door to a sex shop! And you know how Sammie has no filter and no sense of what's inappropriate behavior, so she dared me to do all of my Mother's Day shopping in the sex shop!
"So I ran in and tried to look for the most normal stuff I could find to buy, and I found this!"
She handed me this:
 |
| A pie-shaped piece of soap in a bag, very pretty. |
 |
| Yes, it has a warning not to eat it. |
"The only normal things I could find were soaps, and buttons that had funny sayings on them. So I got you and Grandma and Ms. D, you know, Frieda's mom, each a piece of the soap, and I also got Grandma a button that says, 'It's not rocket surgery!' and Ms. D one that says, 'Oops, I left my personalities on shuffle!'
"I was going to get you the button that said, 'Me and my army of magical pink unicorns, that's who!' but they were out of it and I'll have to get it for you later."
That's all right, sweet girl, the soap is enough, i told her.
"I'll bet you've never had a present from a sex shop before. Anyway, I hope you don't mind that I consider Frieda's mom to be like my other mom and that I got her a Mother's Day present, too."
That's fine with me, i'm just glad you have several mother figures in your life that you can confide in, i said.
"Thanks, mom. Are we ready to go see Grandma?"
As soon as we load up the ice chest.
Yes, it was a good Mother's Day.
Today is:
Armed Forces/Amateur Radio Crossband Test Day -- US (today and tomorrow, ham operators and the US military team up to test ham operators ability and expertise in contacting appropriate military radio stations in an emergency)
Astronomy Day 2016 / Spring Astronomy Day -- Saturday at or before the first quarter moon between mid-April and mid-May
sponsored by The Astronomical League; find out what your local astronomy society is doing today, and go enjoy
Carabao Festival -- Pulilan, Philippines (to honor their patron, St. Isidro [St. Isadore the Farmer], hundreds of carabaos [water buffalo] are dressed up and paraded, and eventually blessed in front of the church; through tomorrow)
Cornelia de Lange Syndrome Awareness Day -- shedding light on this rare genetic condition www.cdlsusa.org
Dance Like a Chicken Day -- no idea why today, but i'm waiting for wedding season
Do Dah Day -- Rhodes and Caldwell Parks, Birmingham, Alabama (fun while fundraising for local animal charities)
Drunk Driving Memorial Day -- not sponsored by MADD, or anyone else i can find, but let's all work and pray for the day drunk driving by anyone is just a bad memory
French Fairy Awareness Day -- Fairy Calendar
Gesta de Independencia -- Paraguay
International Migratory Bird Day -- original date second Saturday in May, but the IMBD www.migratorybirdday.org organization encourages you to celebrate when birds are migrating in your area, and this year to focus on how birds have inspired many of the most significant environmental conservation actions in the Americas; one special celebration on this date:
International Migratory Bird Celebration -- Chincoteague, VA, US (walks, talks, tours, art, and children's activities, all outdoors with the birds)
Izumo-taisha Shrine Grand Festival -- Izumo-taisha, Japan (through tomorrow)
Jamestown Day -- Jamestown, Williamsburg, VA, US (special demonstrations and programs for the anniversary of the founding of Jamestown, America's first permanent English colony)
Letter Carriers "Stamp Out Hunger" Food Drive -- US (place non-perishable food items by your mail box, and help stamp out hunger in your area)
Marshmallow Fluff Day -- Mr. Durkee and Mr. Mower announced, on this day in 1920, that they were in business producing this sweet confection
Mars Invictus Festival -- Ancient Roman Calendar
Midnight Sun at North Cape -- Norway (the sun will not set until July 30)
Drunk Driving Memorial Day -- not sponsored by MADD, or anyone else i can find, but let's all work and pray for the day drunk driving by anyone is just a bad memory
French Fairy Awareness Day -- Fairy Calendar
Gesta de Independencia -- Paraguay
International Migratory Bird Day -- original date second Saturday in May, but the IMBD www.migratorybirdday.org organization encourages you to celebrate when birds are migrating in your area, and this year to focus on how birds have inspired many of the most significant environmental conservation actions in the Americas; one special celebration on this date:
International Migratory Bird Celebration -- Chincoteague, VA, US (walks, talks, tours, art, and children's activities, all outdoors with the birds)
Izumo-taisha Shrine Grand Festival -- Izumo-taisha, Japan (through tomorrow)
Jamestown Day -- Jamestown, Williamsburg, VA, US (special demonstrations and programs for the anniversary of the founding of Jamestown, America's first permanent English colony)
Letter Carriers "Stamp Out Hunger" Food Drive -- US (place non-perishable food items by your mail box, and help stamp out hunger in your area)
Marshmallow Fluff Day -- Mr. Durkee and Mr. Mower announced, on this day in 1920, that they were in business producing this sweet confection
Mars Invictus Festival -- Ancient Roman Calendar
Midnight Sun at North Cape -- Norway (the sun will not set until July 30)
Morel Mushroom Festival -- Muscoda, WI, US (the "Morel Mushroom Capital of Wisconsin" celebrates the end of the peak morel season in style, with everything including an antique tractor pull, Fireman's Steak Feed, and even a parade; through tomorrow)
National Bake Sale Day -- US (recognizing the tradition of raising money and expanding waistlines through the old fashioned bake sale)
National Buttermilk Biscuit Day
National Miniature Golf Day -- this one should be in every country, mini golf is too much fun to hog!
National Train Day -- US (it used to be a day to explore why trains matter, with events sponsored by Amtrak, but budget cuts mean you have to celebrate this one on your own now)
National Unification Day -- Liberia
President Kamuzu Banda's Birthday -- Malawi
Runic Half-Month Ing (expansive energy) commences
"Stars and Stripes Forever" Day -- first public performance this day in 1897
Stay Up All Night Night -- as declared by George Mahood of Northampton, England, everyone needs to relive the excitement of staying up late like you always wanted to as a kid at least once a year
St. Bonifatius' Day (4th Ice Saint)
St. Matthias the Apostle's Day (Patron of carpenters, reformed alcoholics, tailors; Gary, Indiana; Great Falls-Billings, Montana; against alcoholism and smallpox)
Sun Awareness Day -- like Melanoma Monday, a few days back, a day to remember the damage the sun can do to skin and stock up on sunscreen, if you haven't already
Underground America Day -- Malcolm Wells wants us to imagine what our landscapes would look like if more of our buildings were under ground
Windmill Day -- Netherlands (on the second Saturday of May each year, more than 600 windmills, including many that are now national monuments, are open to the public)
World Belly Dance`Day -- to celebrate the wonderful art of belly dance
World Fair Trade Day -- sponsored by the World Fair Trade Organization; this year's theme is "Be an Agent for Change"
National Bake Sale Day -- US (recognizing the tradition of raising money and expanding waistlines through the old fashioned bake sale)
National Buttermilk Biscuit Day
National Miniature Golf Day -- this one should be in every country, mini golf is too much fun to hog!
National Train Day -- US (it used to be a day to explore why trains matter, with events sponsored by Amtrak, but budget cuts mean you have to celebrate this one on your own now)
National Unification Day -- Liberia
President Kamuzu Banda's Birthday -- Malawi
Runic Half-Month Ing (expansive energy) commences
"Stars and Stripes Forever" Day -- first public performance this day in 1897
Stay Up All Night Night -- as declared by George Mahood of Northampton, England, everyone needs to relive the excitement of staying up late like you always wanted to as a kid at least once a year
St. Bonifatius' Day (4th Ice Saint)
St. Matthias the Apostle's Day (Patron of carpenters, reformed alcoholics, tailors; Gary, Indiana; Great Falls-Billings, Montana; against alcoholism and smallpox)
Sun Awareness Day -- like Melanoma Monday, a few days back, a day to remember the damage the sun can do to skin and stock up on sunscreen, if you haven't already
Underground America Day -- Malcolm Wells wants us to imagine what our landscapes would look like if more of our buildings were under ground
Windmill Day -- Netherlands (on the second Saturday of May each year, more than 600 windmills, including many that are now national monuments, are open to the public)
World Belly Dance`Day -- to celebrate the wonderful art of belly dance
World Fair Trade Day -- sponsored by the World Fair Trade Organization; this year's theme is "Be an Agent for Change"
Anniversaries Today:
Frederik, Crown Prince of Denmark marries Mary Donaldson, 2004
Carlsbad Caverns National Park established, NM, US, 1930
Birthdays Today:
Miranda Cosgrove, 1993
Amber Tamblyn, 1983
Dan Auerbach, 1979
Martine McCutdcheon, 1976
Cate Blanchett, 1969
Danny Wood, 1969
Jose Da Silveira, 1965
Suzy Kolber, 1964
Tim Roth, 1961
Valerie Still, 1961
Ronan Tynan, 1960
David Byrne, 1952
Robert Zemechis, 1951
Meg Foster, 1948
George Lucas, 1944
Jack Bruce, 1943
Atanasio "Tony" Perez, 1942
Bobby Darin, 1936
Laszlo Kovacs, 1933
Patrice Munsel, 1925
Otto Klemperer, 1885
Robert Owen, 1771
Thomas Gainsborough, 1727
Gabrile Daniel Fahrenheit, 1686
Debuting/Premiering Today:
"The Kids Are Alright"(Documentary), 1979
“It’s Time for Ernie"(Ernie Kovacs' TV premier), 1951
"When Lilacs Last in the Dooryard Bloom'd: A Requiem for those we love"(Hindemith composition), 1946
"Die Hebriden/The Hebrides"(Mendelssohn Op. 26), 1832
Today in History:
Jamestown, Virginia is settled as an English colony, 1607
Edward Jenner administers the first smallpox vaccination, 1796
The Lewis and Clark expedition sets out, 1804
Paraguay gains independence from Spain, 1811
The first edition of the London Illustrated Times is published, 1842
Gail Borden patents her process for condensed milk, 1853
Vaseline, the first petroleum jelly, is marketed, 1878
Lina Medina becomes the world's youngest confirmed mother in medical history at the age of five, 1939
Israel is declared to be an independent state and a provisional government is established; immediately after the declaration, Israel is attacked by the neighboring Arab states, triggering the 1948 Arab-Israeli War, 1948
Kuwait joins the United Nations, 1963
Skylab, the United States' first space station, is launched, 1973
The Institute for War documents publishes Anne Franks complete diary, 1986
The last episode of Seinfeld airs, with commercials going for $2M per 30 seconds, 1998
Scientists at Stanford University invent a working bionic eye the is powered only by focused light; the eye could eventually restore the sight of millions of people suffering from macular degeneration and retinal pigmentosa, 2012
Holy cow! Compared to what you might have been given, I bet you were never so glad to get soap in your life! LOL!
ReplyDeleteoh, that's a trip! :)
ReplyDeleteYou see why I love your kids. This is a perfect example.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. Sandee leaves your blog smiling. ☺
Nothing says lovin like cake soap from the sex shop!
ReplyDeleteI. have. never been.inside. a. sex. shop and would have no idea how to behave!
ReplyDeleteA sex shop? My girls would be plugging their ears and yelling "EW EW EW" at the thought of a present from a sex shop.
ReplyDeleteHad their father and I had that attitude they wouldn't even be born.