Rory Bore at Ink Interrupted hosts the Tuesday Coffee Chat, and this week she asks the question, It's my birthday and Mother's Day soon... what should I do?
First, train your children and husband that "one gift for both Mother's Day and your birthday" is not acceptable. It's not acceptable to give one gift to children born in December and make it count for birthday and Christmas, it's not acceptable here either.
If i sound touchy about that, it's because Grandma's birthday is always right around Mother's Day, and i have always been very careful to give her two cards and two gifts, and trained my children to do the same.
When i had a godchild who was born in December, i made sure she got two cards and two gifts, even if i only saw her with the family at Christmas.
No one should be cheated out of a separate gift because of the proximity of another holiday!
Now that that's off my chest, the real question is what do you want to do? If you want a weekend away with friends, i hope you get it. If you want a massage, tell the family (and let them know that the massage is one gift, the mani-pedi can be the other gift). Whatever you love, i hope you can find a way to get it (or something close to it, i understand budget constraints when you are raising a family).
Give yourself a gift, too. It's one i didn't spend enough time giving myself when my kids were younger, and i wish i could have. Give yourself the gift of taking each child alone and going and doing something together that only the two of you enjoy together. Do this as often as you can. It can be as simple as playing a board game that you only play with the one child who likes that game, or taking the one who adores cheesecake above all other desserts out for dessert for just the two of you. It doesn't have to be expensive, it does have to be planned (part of your Left Brain's gift to you can be making sure you can get away to do this.)
(Note, you can gift him the time to do the same with each of the children. This is something you will cherish, and so will they. Trust me.)
One lady i read about enjoyed it thoroughly when her husband said, "No overpriced and overcrowded buffet for us on Mother's Day -- I'm cooking!" He did, too, a big BBQ, he and the children did it all, down to covering the plates with foil so they could just throw the foil away and not have to wash dishes! Get the family cooking while you sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labors if you want a night (or two, remember, two gifts!) off from the kitchen duty.
No matter what you decide to do, though, i wish you many happy returns of your birthday and a lovely Mother's Day.
Today is:
Europe Day -- European Union
Independence Day -- Romania (1877, from the Ottoman Empire)
Lawn Mower Day -- a rotary blade mower was patented this day in 1899
Lemuralia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (first of 3 non-consecutive days dedicated to getting rid of the spirits of the malevolent dead; rituals performed today, the 11th, and the 13th)
Liberation Day -- Guernsey; Jersey
Lost Sock Memorial Day -- they go to the hozone layer!
National Butterscotch Brownie Day
National Teacher Appreciation Day -- US
Olympieia -- Ancient Greek Calendar (spring festival for Zeus; date approximate)
Remembrance for Gudrod of Gudbrandsdal -- Slavic Pagan/Asatru (pagan martyr)
Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Fairies Founded -- Fairy Calendar
St. Beatus of Lungern's Day (Apostle of Switzerland)
St. Nicholas Albergati's Day (Patron of learning)
Tear Tags Off of Mattresses Day -- yes, you can! If you bought it, you're allowed to.
Victory Day / Victory and Peace Day -- countries that didn't celebrate V-E day yesterday, mostly Russia and former SSR's
Xotira va Qadirlash Kuni -- Uzbekistan (Day of Remembrance and Honors)
Birthdays Today:
Rosario Dawson, 1979
Steve Yzerman, 1965
Tony Gwynn, 1960
Billy Joel, 1949
Candice Bergen, 1946
James L. Brooks, 1940
Charles Simic, 1938
Glenda Jackson, 1937
Albert Finney, 1936
Glenda Jackson, 1936
Richard Alonzo “Pancho” Gonzales, 1928
Mike Wallace, 1918
Howard Carter, 1873
J.M. Barrie, 1860
Belle Boyd, 1843
John Brown, 1800
Today in History:
The first battle recorded with what is considered historic accuracy and detail, the Battle of Megiddo between Thutmose III and a large Canaanite coalition under the King of Kadesh, BC1457
Christopher Columbus leaves Spain for his 4th and final voyage, 1502
Thomas Blood, disguised as a clergyman, attempts to steal England's Crown Jewels from the Tower of London, 1671
British inventor Joseph Bramah patents beer-pump handle, 1785
The city of Reno, Nevada, is founded, 1868
The Vienna stock market crash (Der Krach) heralds the Long Depression, 1873
The first horse-drawn bus makes its début in the city of Mumbai, 1874
Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show opens in London, 1887
The first horseless carriage show in London opens, featuring 10 models, 1896
The lawn mower is patented, 1899
Australia opens its first parliament in Melbourne, 1901
The steam locomotive City of Truro becomes the first steam engine in Europe to exceed 100mph, 1904
The Australian Parliament first convenes in Canberra, 1927
Edgar Bergen and Charley McCarthy take to the airwaves, becoming an overnight radio sensation, 1937
Rainier III of Monaco becomes Prince of Monaco, 1949
Sam and Friends, with Jim Hensen and his muppets, debuts, 1955
The FDA announces it will approve birth control as an additional indication for Searle's Enovid, making Enovid the world's first approved oral contraceptive pill, 1960
Iranian Jewish businessman Habib Elghanian is executed by firing squad in Tehran, prompting the mass exodus of the once 100,000 member strong Jewish community of Iran, 1979
The South African parliament chooses Nelson Mandela as president, 1994
Estonia ratifies the European Constitution, 2006
A report reveals that hackers using fraudulent ATM cards in February, 2013, stole $45 million, 2013
Messymimi,
ReplyDeleteI like your suggestions to Les. I was born in December so my birthday and Christmas was often lumped together. When I was a kid I really didn't like that and I understood because my folks didn't have much but it didn't make sense still when my younger siblings got presents for both. DH and my kids always kept the two separate which I appreciate very much but these days it's really not necessary. I'm happy to have one gift if they wish to splurge on me. I got a chuckle out "Tear the tags off mattress" Day on your list of Today in History. :) Have a good day and a Happy Mother's Day!
~Curious as a Cathy
Watercolor Iris Mother's Day card
First of all, I agree with you. My son's birthday is on Dec. 24the and the next day it's Christmas. He always gets gets cards and gifts on both days.
ReplyDeleteAs far as Mother's Day, my daughter AmyLynn has told her mother that she's cooking dinner for her, and we both have cards and gifts for MaryLou. It's a special day for me to give a special gift to the one I love and together we had three beautiful children. See ya Mimi.
Cruisin Paul
When my wife's dad was being shipped overseas in the Army he spent an entire day with each child. My wife still speaks of that special day.
ReplyDeleteI spaced all my children away from major holidays.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the gifts. My great granddaughters birthday is a few days after Christmas. I make sure she has a separate gift and card for her birthday. Often I make her birthday a bigger deal then Christmas.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. ☺
My mom was born in December, so it's always been complicated handling birthdays and Christmas. And, because her birthday is so close to Thanksgiving, it really interferes with that too. So we always find ourselves short on time trying to celebrate with her and still contribute to the family holidays.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I am of the opinion that experience and spending time with those you love is more important than gifts. So even if I'm short on money, we try to make sure to spend time with the birthday person and give them a memorable day even if it doesn't result in cards or gifts.
I love how you include "holidays" with all of your posts. I always learn about a new holiday that I didn't know about every time I read your blog. :)
With Love,
Mandy
I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day! That is excellent advice about spending time with each child separately. I don't have kids( only cats) so I make a brunch for my Mom, my sister, niece and great-niece as my gift to them all.
ReplyDeleteGood advice. It is hard when birthdays and holidays come right together. I am always one to buy myself a gift if needed. It is fun.
ReplyDeleteThis was awesome, Mimi! My birthday is just a week away from Valentine's Day and so often ex-spouses felt that one gift, one effort on their part was sufficient to cover both, if they even made any effort at all! Papa Bear knows that we celebrate both, just as we do his birthday and Father's Day separately in June. :-) Your advice about spending time alone with each child is wonderful, I wish I would have known to do more of that too. Those memories are precious gifts to our children and to our own hearts!
ReplyDeleteYou are wise and wonderful, Mimi. And very fair. Your ideas are both practical and sensitive. I hope your loved ones appreciate you! HUGS.
ReplyDeleteGood point about two gifts! I have a friend who's birthday is Christmas. She always got short changed.
ReplyDeleteVery good advice, Mimi! Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteVery good advice, Mimi! Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOh thank you, you're an answer to prayer because I have been working on This Man for years over the whole "it's still two gifts" thing! Help me Jesus!! LOL And the funny thing is his birthday is close to Valentines' and HE gets two gifts I reminded him. So he is finally on board with the plan.
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of going with each child for something special. It's hard to do because of his shift schedule -- we barely get date nights ourselves. But definitely something I think we need to work on.
And I do know that they will have a BBQ ready for me when I get back Sunday night, and that is perfect!!