Conspiracy Theory

It's a conspiracy, i tell ya.

It has to be, there's no other explanation.

It can't be because the dishwasher caught fire a few years ago (yes, really), and so we do dishes by hand now.

No, it has to be a conspiracy, and i think i know from where it is coming.

Why else would i go to bed each night with my kitchen sink looking like this:

Clean and tidy sink.

And when i get up each morning, it looks about like this:

In the morning!

The dishes are conspiring against me and reproducing in the night!

That has to be the only logical explanation.



Today is:

Autumn Equinox Festival at Chichen Itza -- beginning today, thousands will gather for the amazing play of light and shadow each evening at sunset through the 27th)

Birthday of Crown Prince Tupouto'a 'Ulukalala -- Tonga

Chelsea Antique Fair -- Chelsea Old Town Hall, London, England (through Sunday)

Citizenship Day -- US

Eleven Days of Global Unity -- Day 7, Women (sponsored by We, the World)

Feast of Hathor -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (date approximate)

Fundacion de Melilla -- ML, Spain

General Election Day -- Fiji

Golden Aspen Motorcycle Rally -- Ruidoso, NM, US (trade show, bike shows, riding tours, skills event, stunt show, parade, and fun; through Sunday)

International Country Music Day

National Apple Dumpling Day

National Guitar Flat-Picking Championships and Walnut Valley Festival -- Winfield, KS, US (through Sunday)

National Heroes Day -- Angola

National Rehabilitation Day -- US (on the Wednesday of National Rehab Awareness Week)

National School Backpack Awareness Day 2014 -- US (or anywhere else that you want to weigh your child's backpack on the 3rd Wednesday of September, to make sure it's not heavy enough to hurt them)

Niketeria -- Ancient Greek Calendar (date approximate)

Operation Market Garden Remembrance -- Netherlands

Pledge Across America Day -- US (beginning of Constitution Week, every school is invited to join a synchronized Pledge of Allegiance across the whole nation, from 8am Hawaiian time to 2pm Eastern; schools also have an exercise of some kind about the US Constitution)

Return of Kelp-Koli Celebration -- Fairy Calendar (under duress, of course)

Stigmata of St. Francis' Day

St. Hildegard von Bingen's Day (author of treatises on natural healing and the first musical composer whose biography is known)

St. Lambert's Day (Patron of Middelaar, Netherlands)

Time's Up Day -- created by Wellcat Holidays; time's up on holding that grudge, you need to make amends with people today, since you aren't guaranteed a tomorrow

VFW Ladies Auxiliary Day -- anniversary of founding in 1914


Anniversary Today:

The Constitution of the United States is signed, 1787
American Professional Football League (later the NFL) founded (a/k/a the Swallowing Up of Weekends), 1920



Birthdays Today:

Chuck Liddell, 1969
Kyle Chandler, 1965
Rita Rudner, 1956
Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson, 1951
John Ritter, 1948
David H. Souter, 1974
Ken Kesey, 1935
Maureen Conolly, 1934
Anne Bancroft, 1931
Roddy McDowall, 1928
George Blanda, 1927
Hank Williams Sr., 1923
Chaim Herzog, 1918
Warren E. Burger, 1907
Jerry Colonna, 1904
John Willard Marriot, 1900
Andrew "Rube" Foster, 1879
Baron Friedrich Von Steuben, 1730


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Home Improvement"(TV), 1991
"Head of the Class"(TV), 1986
"M*A*S*H"(TV), 1972
"Mission: Impossible"(TV), 1966
"Bewitched"(TV), 1964
"The Fugitive"(TV), 1963
"Car 54 Where are You?"(TV), 1961
"Outward Bound"(Play), 1923


Today in History:

The Battle of Thermopylae, fought between 300 Spartans, led by their king, Leonidas, and the Achaemenid Empire begins, BC480
Arabs conquer Alexandria, and destroy its library for the last time, 642
Netherland sailors discover Mauritus, 1598
Massachusetts Bay Colony gets a new charter, 1691
Presidio of San Francisco is founded in New Spain, 1776
US Constitution is adopted by the Philadelphia convention, 1787
Sprinkler system for extinguishing fires is patented by Phillip W. Pratt, 1872
The Wright Flyer flown by Orville Wright, with Lieutenant Thomas Selfridge as passenger, crashes killing Selfridge, who becomes the first airplane fatality, 1908
The first transcontinental airplane flight, from New York to Pasadena, is completed after 82 hours 4 minutes, 1911
The Okeechobee Hurricane strikes southeastern Florida, killing upwards
of 2,500 people, the third deadliest natural disaster in United States history, behind the Galveston Hurricane of 1900 and the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, 1928
The Canadian steamship SS Noronic burns in Toronto Harbour with the loss of over 118 lives, 1949
Television is first broadcast in Australia, 1956
Malaysia joins the United Nations, 1957
Bangladesh, Grenada and Guinea-Bissau join the United Nations, 1974
The first Space Shuttle, Enterprise, is unveiled by NASA, 1976
The Camp David Accords are signed by Israel and Egypt, 1978
Vanessa Williams becomes the first black Miss America, 1983
Estonia, North Korea, South Korea, Latvia, Lithuania, the Marshall Islands and Micronesia join the United Nations, 1991
The first version of the Linux kernel (0.01) is released to the Internet, 1991
Fourpeaked Mountain in Alaska erupts, marking the first eruption for the long-dormant volcano in at least 10,000 years, 2006
A drill finally reaches the 33 Chilean miners trapped after the Aug. 5 Copiapo mining accident, 2010