Little Girl walked downstairs while getting ready for school, and was laughing. She's usually rather quiet in the mornings, since she's not a morning person at all (i'm the only morning person in the house).
What's so funny? i asked.
"Well, yesterday, my friend Luke was playing with my phone during our lunch break at school. He thinks flip phones are so cute, so he was playing with it, and he put his number in. I told him if he did that, that I would send him terrible jokes in the middle of the night, and he didn't believe me. So last night, when I woke up to go to the bathroom, I sent him a text that said, 'How does Moses make his tea? He-brews it!' and he just texted me back and says 'Stop! You're killing me! I have to wake up to this!'"
Good one, i told her.
"That was funny," Bigger Girl said. "Hey, mom, I'm going to go to the school early this morning to get my math lab stuff done, but I'll be back in a jiffy and I'll scoop the litter boxes then."
"How long is a jiffy?" Little Girl asked.
"Just a bit longer than three shakes of a lamb's tail!" Bigger Girl answered on her way out.
"Ha, ha," Little Girl said, heading back upstairs to grab her P.E. clothes.
When she came back down, i asked, isn't Luke the friend who has missed a lot of school because he's got a chronic illness?
"Well, sort of a chronic illness. Actually, he's had to have a lot of surgeries because of some birth defects. They weren't sure when he was born if he was a boy or a girl, and he's had to have a lot of stuff done to correct all the problems, and a lot of the other kids won't hang with him, but I think he's cool. Anyway, if he thinks that joke was bad, wait until I tell him the rest of my jokes. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless! When is a fin not a fin? When it's a dol-phin! What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?"
Church! i answered. That one i know, you've told me before.
"Yes, and everyone I tell it to laughs."
With that, we laughed our way out of the door for school, as being late isn't a laughing matter.
Today is:
Children's Day -- India
Day of the Colombian Woman -- Colombia
Equorum Probatio -- Ancient Roman Empire (official cavalry parade of the equites)
International Girls Day -- for info, see confidencecoalition.org
Leftover Trading Day -- internet generated; trade your leftovers for the much more interesting ones in your neighbor's fridge
Loosen up, Lighten Up Day -- to remind us of the benefits of joy and laughter, begun by Stephanie West Allen of Denver, CO, US
National Spicy Guacamole Day -- as opposed to National Guacamole Day back in September
National Pickle Day/Pickle Appreciation Day
Nativity Fast begins a/k/a Winter Lent (through Dec 24) -- Orthodox Christian
Operating Room Nurse Day -- US, but feel free to celebrate those dedicated nurses around the world
Readjustment Movement's Day -- Guinea-Bissau
Spirit of NSA Day -- members of the National Speakers Association are encouraged to focus on giving back and mentoringhttp://nsaspeaker.org/
St. Dubricus' Day (the saint who crowned King Arthur)
St. Lawrence O'Toole's Day (Patron of the Archdiocese of Dublin, Ireland)
Works Getting Into Championships -- Fairy Calendar (Gremlins)
World Diabetes Day -- UN
Anniversaries Today:
Princess Anne of the UK marries Captain Mark Phillips, 1973
Birthdays Today:
D.B. Sweeney, 1961
Condoleezza Rice, 1954
Yanni, 1954
Prince Charles, 1948
King Hussein of Jordan, 1935
McLean Stevenson, 1929
Brian Keith, 1921
Veronica Lake, 1919
Barbara Hutton, 1912
Rosemary DeCamp, 1910
Joseph McCarthy, 1909
Dick Powell, 1904
Aaron Copland, 1900
Mamie Dowd Eisenhower, 1896
Jawaharlal Nehru, 1889
Claude Monet, 1840
Robert Fulton, 1765
Debuting/Premiering Today:
Murphy Brown, 1988
Today in History:
Conquistadors from Spain under the leadership of Francisco Pizarro arrive in Cajamarca, Inca empire, 1533
Samuel Pepys reports on the first blood transfusion (between dogs), 1666
Loius Timothee is hired in Philadelphia to be the first professional librarian in the US, 1732
Captain George Vancouver is the first Englishman to enter San Francisco Bay, 1792
John Mason debuts the first horse-drawn streetcar in NYC, with a route between Prince and 14th on 4th Ave., 1832
Herman Melville publishes "Moby Dick", 1851
The St. Andrews Golf Club, in Yonkers, NY, opens with 6 holes, 1888
New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane) began her attempt to surpass fictitious journey of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around world in less than 80 days; She succeeded, finishing the trip in January in 72 days and 6 hours, 1889
Albert Einstein presents his quantum theory of light, 1908
The first airplane flight from the deck of a ship takes place in Norfolk, Virginia, 1910
The BBC begins radio service in the United Kingdom, 1922
The first regular UK singles chart published by the New Musical Express, 1952
NASA launches Apollo 12, the second manned mission to the surface of the Moon, 1969
After German reunification, the Federal Republic of Germany and the Republic of Poland sign a treaty confirming the Oder-Neisse line as the border between Germany and Poland, 1990
The last direct-current electrical distribution system in the United States is shut down in New York City by Con Edison, 2007
The whole family was riding in Jalopy (my Saturn minivan that looks like a jalopy, really) on the way back from a football game at the university.
#2 Son's phone rang, so i turned down the volume on the radio.
"Hello? Yeah, who is this? Joseph? Wait, I don't know any Joseph. Wait, what? Meet you? Meet you where? But, I don't know any...Mike! Oh, c'mon man! Oh, okay, as soon as we get home I'll come over to Craig's house. Yeah, my brother's here, we were at the game. We'll be over soon"
That was Mike-Next-Door? i asked.
"Yeah, yeah, he does that. He's great at disguising his voice, and he prank calls people, pretending to be all different names."
"He is great at disguising his voice and pulling that stuff," #1 Son added. "One time, he called Brennan and told him, 'Hey, I found this phone here at the Junior College, and I don't know who it belongs to.' When Brennan told him that it belonged to a guy named Mike, he said, 'Well, this Mike guy has you listed under My Sweetheart. Are you two guys lovers or something?' and it had Brennan freaking out until he realized it really was Mike making the call!"
So, Mike-Next-Door is a prankster with the phone. While i didn't know that, i'm glad i do now, because forewarned is fore armed. It's doubtful he would try anything like that on me, as i pay him to mow our lawn twice a month and he loves his mowing business. It's still good to know.
And to laugh about -- i knew there was another reason to like him, he's got a sense of humor.
Today is:
Feast of Honor for Lada and Lela -- Slavic Pagan/Asatru (harvest festival, a holiday of bread and farewell to summer)
Feast of 'Izzat(Might) -- Baha'i
Feast of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin -- Catholic Christian; related observances
Jum il-Vittorja -- Malta (Feast of Our Lady of Victories)
Matki Boskiej Zielnej -- Poland (Feast of Greenery, also harvest celebration)
Public Holiday -- Liechteinstein
Virgen de la Victoria -- Spain
Giostra Della Quintana -- Foligno, Italy (revival of a 17th-century jousting tournament, with 600 knights in full armor)
Grandparents' Day -- US (but if you have fabulous grands in your family, feel free to observe anywhere)
Great Procession of Tournai -- Tournai, Belgium (religious procession held since 1092, in thanksgiving for deliverance from the plague)
Hari Taika (Teej) -- Nepal (special holiday for Female Employees Only, to celebrate a special, traditional women's festival)
Homesteader Harvest Festival -- Brandon, SD, US (re-creation of the harvest in the pioneer days)
Hug Your Hound Day -- to increase awareness of human- and dog-friendly urban spaces
Independence Day -- Macedonia
International Literacy Day -- UN
Kosrae Liberation Day -- Micronesia
La Vierge de Meritxell -- Andorra (Feast of Our Lady of Meritxell, a National Day and official flag day)
National Date Nut Bread Day
Navy Day -- Pakistan
Pardon Me Day -- anniversary of the 1974 pardon of Nixon
Pediatric Hematology/Oncology Nurses Day
Pet Memorial Day -- US, but everyone who has ever lost a pet, feel free to observe
St. Adrian's Day (Patron of arms dealers, butchers, prison guards, soldiers; against plague)
St. Elizabeth's Day (Orthodox Churches; Mother of John the Baptist; Patron of expectant mothers; Fulda, Germany)
Wakes Sunday -- Abbots Bromely, England
World Physical Therapy Day
Birthdays Today:
Frankie Avalon, 1940
Guitar Shorty, 1939
Patsy Cline, 1932
Peter Sellers, 1925
Sid Caesar, 1922
Claude Pepper, 1900
Antonin Leopold Dvorak, 1841
Richard I (Lionheart), 1157
Today in History:
The Statute of Kalisz, guaranteeing Jews safety and personal liberties and giving battei din jurisdiction over Jewish matters, is promulgated by Boleslaus the Pious, Duke of Greater Poland, 1264
Michaelangelo's David is unveiled in Florence, 1504
St. Augustine, FL, becomes the first permanent European settlement of the New World, 1565
The US "Pledge of Allegiance" makes its first appearance in print, in the Youth's Companion, 1892
Galveston, TX, is struck by a hurricane and tidal surge that kill 6,000, 1900
First appearance of the comic strip "Blondie", 1930
3M begins marketing Scotch transparent tape, 1930
The original Star Trek series premiers, 1966
The Beatles perform their new hit "Hey Jude" as their last live TV performance on the David Frost show, 1968
Chinese athlete Wang Junxia sets a new women's 10,000 m world record of 29:31.78, breaking the former record by 42 seconds, 1993
Two EMERCOM Il-76 aircraft land at a disaster aid staging area at Little Rock Air Force Base; the first time Russia has flown such a mission to North America, 2005
It seems that, when G-d created the world, He promised man that there would be good, obedient, submissive women to be found in all corners of the world.
Then He made the world round.
If you end up driving down the right roads in Louisiana, you can sometimes end up with whiplash from the double takes you do reading the signs on the side of the road. For example, one man was very surprised to see a "Vatican Baptist Church" sign, complete with service times. He felt a little better after he saw the sign up the road a bit further welcoming him to Vatican, Louisiana.
Then there was the accountant who complained, when he got to heaven, that he was only 45, so he had been taken way too young.
"We have you down as 85," he was told by an angelic secretary.
"How can that be!" he yelled.
"We added up your billable hours."
No, Wednesday isn't usually joke day, but it beats having a Wednesday whinefest that no one wants to read, including me!
Today is:
Assyrian Martyrs Day -- various Assyrian communities
Battle of Boyaca Day -- Colombia
Canadian Open Old Time Fiddle Championship -- Shelburne, ON, Canada (these folks aren't just fiddling around, they are good! through Sunday)
Eid al Fitr -- Islam (celebration of the end of Ramadan; begins at sundown, and runs through sundown on the 11th, but local dates and official government observances may vary)
Festival Wednesday -- British Virgin Islands
Harvest Holiday -- Slavic Pagan Calendar (reaping ceases for a few hours in honor of Volos' beard; bread is eaten and offerings given to Mother Earth and Volos for a bountiful harvest)
Independence Day / National Day -- Cote d'Ivoire
Miss Crustacean USA Beauty Pageant and Ocean City Creep -- Ocean City, NJ, US (crowning the most beautiful and fastest tree crab on Earth)
National Lighthouse Day -- US
National Raspberries in Cream Day
Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays, and especially the kind no one can open without a machete, what's with that!
Professional Speaker's Day -- www.professionalspeakersday.com
Purple Heart Day -- US (originally instituted this day in 1782 by George Washington)
Ramazan Bayramy Eve -- Turkey
Say "Cheese" Day -- begun by ecard companies looking for something to celebrate; in my family, we do not say "Cheese", we say "Chicken Lips!" Try it some time when walking past tourists who are trying to get a good photo, and watch them smile genuine smiles and come up with a good picture.
Sea Serpent Day -- no one knows why today, just enjoy
Smartest Leprechaun Eisteddfod -- Fairy Calendar
St. Albert of Trapani's Day (Patron of Carmelite schools; Messina, Italy; Trapani, Italy)
St. Cajetan's Day (Patron of job seekers and the unemployed)
Take Last Winter's Snowballs Out of the Freezer and Have a Fight Day -- in the northern hemisphere, it's certainly hot enough
Birthdays Today:
Charlize Theron, 1975
David Duchovny, 1960
Garrison Keillor, 1942
B.J. Thomas, 1942
"The Amazing" James Randi, 1928
Carl "Alfalfa" Switser, 1927
Billie Burke, 1884
Mata Hari, 1876
Today in History:
Battle of Crannon between Athens and Macedon, following the death of Alexander the Great, BC322
Construction of the dome of Santa Maria del Fiore begins in Florence, 1420
Coup again the Tianshun Emperor by the Ming Dynasty Chinese military general Cao Qin, 1461
Francis Drake's fleet returns to Plymouth, 1573
The first documented performance of Macbeth, at the Great Hall at Hampton Court, 1606
Sieur de La Salle's brigantine Le Griffon becomes the first ship to sail the upper Great Lakes, 1679
Cherokee Indians take Ft. Loudon, Tennessee, 1760
George Washington creates the Order of the Purple Heart, 1782
Simon Bolivar triumphs over the Spanish at the Battle of Boyaca, 1819
The long simmering tension between the Hatfields and the McCoys on the Kentucky/West Virginia border erupts into full scale violence on election day, 1882
The Peace Bridge opens between Fort Erie, Ontario and Buffalo, New York, 1927
IBM dedicates the first program-controlled calculator, the Automatic Sequence Controlled Calculator (known best as the Harvard Mark I), 1944
Thor Heyerdahl's balsa wood raft the Kon-Tiki, smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands after a 101-day, 7,000 kilometres (4,300 mi) journey across the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to prove that pre-historic peoples could have traveled from South America, 1947
Explorer 6 transmits the first TV photo of Earth from space, 1959
The "artistic crime of the century" occurs when Philippe Petit of France, after months of planning and smuggling in materials, makes an illegal tightrope walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, 1974
Viking 2 enters orbit around Mars, 1976
The Washington Star ceases all operations after 128 years of publication, 1981
Takao Doi, Mamoru Mohri and Chiaki Mukai are chosen to be Japan's first astronauts, 1985
Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants breaks baseball great Hank Aaron's record by hitting his 756th home run, 2007
It was, indeed, one of the days where i needed a laugh.
The two youngest are in summer school not because of failing, but to see about getting them further in some academic goals more easily. It means i am still spending at least an hour a day, and sometimes two hours, driving them out there and picking them up four days a week.
So it is a big deal to me, in time and gas wasted, when we get out there and the school is closed and i didn't know, which is what happened yesterday.
The teacher/principal and her sister secretary/bookkeeper were not to blame though. It was a family emergency. After several years of their elderly father battling cancer and getting progressively weaker and more and more stubborn about the fact that he and his wife can take care of themselves anyway, she fell and broke her hip.
In their family, i think this will bring the crisis to a head and her father will have to give in and realize that they cannot continue to live in their home and do everything for themselves.
It's a shame it had to come down to this, though.
So i'm glad today is "Tell an Old Joke" Day, because it gives me an excuse to trot out a few things.
Little Johnny was obviously not paying attention to his math lesson, so the teacher suddenly called out, "Johnny, what are 4, 2, 28, and 44?"
Thinking quickly, he answered, "NBC, ABC, HBO, and Cartoon Network!"
The woman was out shopping for furniture for her daughter's room, and they had selected the pieces they wanted. As the salesman wrote up the order, he needed information for the delivery, so he asked, "First name?"
"Elizabeth," the woman replied.
"What!" yelled the daughter. "I thought your name was Mommy!"
There was a medical convention in N'Awlins, an' Dr. Boudreaux had come in from Carencro to attend. He and a group of surgeons got to talking about which patients were the easiest to operate on.
"It's the accountants," noted one. "Everything inside them is numbered!"
"Well, I have to disagree," said a second. "I like electricians because it's all color coded."
"You should try librarians," noted a third. "Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
"Give me construction workers every time," a fourth noted. "After all, they are very understanding when you have a few parts left over."
"Well, you all be wrong!" Dr. Boudreaux noted. "The easiest patients are the politicians! There's no heart, no brains, no guts, no spine, and the head and the hind end are interchangeable!"
To finish off, a joke from Bigger Girl During all of the hoopla over the Royal Birth, her response to everyone clamoring to see the new heir as soon as possible had her say, "I feel sorry for his parents. You'd think everyone could wait at least until the new baby smell wears off!"
Today is
Amelia Earhart Day
Children's Day -- Vanuatu
Chincoteague Pony Round Up -- Chincoteague and Assateague Islands, VA, US (through tomorrow)
Cousins Day -- because cousins are wonderful people to have around! sponsored by Claudia Evart of New York City, who must have had great cousins
Festival of St. Eloi -- French Basque
Jakaba Diena -- Ancient Latvian Calendar (beginning of St. James' [Jacob] Festival, whose day is tomorrow; the beginning of hay harvest)
Jilwalla Jinks' Jamboree -- Fairy Calendar
National Drive Through Day -- but only if you won't pass out from the heat when you roll down the window! on the founding date of Jack-in-the-Box, the first drive through burger chain
National Tequila Day -- celebrate North America's first native-born distilled spirit
Oregon Brewers Festival -- Portland, OR, US (81 microbreweries from across the nation showcase their best, including rare, hard-to-find, and exotic beers; through Sunday)
Pioneer Day -- Mormon Christian
Pop a Wheelie Day -- before, not after, the tequila, please; a hospital visit is no fun
Public Opinion Day -- the first public opinion poll was published this date in 1824!
Simon Bolivar Day -- Ecuador; Venezuela
Sts. Boris and Gleb's Day (Patrons of princes; Moscow, Russia)
St. Christina the Astonishing's Day (Patron of all with mental handicaps, disorders, or illnesses, and mental health care workers, psychiatrists and therapists; against insanity and mental disorders)
St. Christina of Bolsena's Day (Patron of archers, mariners, millers)
Sumarauki -- Iceland (their calendar's extra days added to take into account the "drift" of the calendar from the moon phases)
Tell an Old Joke Day
Tenjin Matsuri -- Tenmangu Jinja, Osaka, Japan (one of Japan's 3 major festivals, through tomorrow)
Birthdays Today
Bindi Irwin, 1998
Dhani Lennevald, 1984
Anna Paquin, 1982
Summer Glau, 1981
Eric Szmanda, 1975
Jennifer Lopez, 1969
Barry Bonds, 1964
Linda Carter, 1951
Michael Richards, 1949
Ruth Buzzi, 1936
Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald, 1900
Chief Dan George, 1899
Amelia Earhart, 1897
Oswald Chambers, 1874
Alexandre Dumas, pere, 1802
Simon Bolivar, 1783
John Newton, 1725 (wrote Amazing Grace)
Today in History
Death in Kyoto, Japan, of Kamo no Chomei (b. 1155), Japanese author, poet (waka) and essayist, critic of Japanese vernacular poetry and major figure of Japanese poetics, 1216
Citizens of Leeuwarden, Netherlands strike against a ban on foreign beer, 1487
Jacques Cartier plants a cross on the Gaspé Peninsula and takes possession of the territory in the name of Francis I of France, 1534
Mary, Queen of Scots, is forced to abdicate and replaced by her 1-year-old son James VI, 1567
Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac founds the trading post at Fort Pontchartrain, which later becomes the city of Detroit, Michigan, 1701
A Spanish treasure fleet of 10 ships under Admiral Ubilla leaves Havana, Cuba for Spain; on the 31st, all ships will be lost and come to be known as the !715 Treasure Fleet, 1715
Slavery is abolished in Chile, 1823
The first opinion poll was carried out in Delaware, USA, 1824
Benjamin Bonneville leads the first wagon train across the Rocky Mountains by using Wyoming's South Pass, 1832
After 17 months of travel, Brigham Young leads 148 Mormon pioneers into Salt Lake Valley, resulting in the establishment of Salt Lake City, 1847
The first tramway opened in England, 1861
Tennessee becomes the first U.S. State to be readmitted to the Union following the American Civil War, 1866
Captain Matthew Webb, who was the first person to swim the English Channel, drowned while trying to swim the rapids above Niagara Falls, 1883
O. Henry is released from prison in Austin, Texas after serving three years for embezzlement from a bank, 1901
Hiram Bingham III re-discovers Machu Picchu, "the Lost City of the Incas", 1911
The passenger ship S.S. Eastland capsizes while tied to a dock in the Chicago River. A total of 844 passengers and crew are killed in the largest loss of life disaster from a single shipwreck on the Great Lakes, 1915
The first insulin treatment is carried out, on a six-year-old girl, at St Guy's Hospital, London, 1925
The Kellogg-Briand Pact, renouncing war as an instrument of foreign policy, goes into effect, 1929*
The dust bowl heat wave reaches its peak, sending temperatures to 109°F (44°C) in Chicago and 104°F (40°C) in Milwaukee, 1935
During an official state visit to Canada, French President Charles de Gaulle declares to a crowd of over 100,000 in Montreal: Vive le Québec libre! ("Long live free Quebec!"), 1967
The Quietly Confident Quartet of Australia wins the Men's 4 x 100 metre medley relay at the Moscow Olympics, the only time the United States has not won the event at Olympic level, 1980
Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, the last Tsar of Bulgaria when he was a child, is sworn in as Prime Minister of Bulgaria, becoming the first monarch in history to regain political power through democratic election to a different office, 2001
Lance Armstrong wins his 7th consecutive Tour de France, 2005
*Nice try, fellas.
"Well, mom, i've found out just how used to their living conditions our horses are." Bigger Girl had just gotten in from work.
What happened this time? i asked.
"We had borrowed a stallion from another research area, because the researchers wanted to be using some fresh stock for trying to predict genetic traits, and the plan was to allow them to mate naturally, but the mare wouldn't cooperate. So we opened the gate, and Badger didn't even need to be led in. He ran across the field, came in, she moved her tail, they mated, and he turned around and ran right back into his pasture. It all took less than a couple of minutes. Those horses are just too much into a routine!"
Sounds like it, although it's obviously one they like, i noted drily.
"Oh, and someone brought a cake!" she continued.
Who?
"We don't know. It was in the break room, and it sat there all day, totally untouched. No one I talked to knew who brought it, so we didn't want to touch it, although I really wanted to take one of the Oreos off the top. Anyway, as the day went by, and everyone walked around it and ignored it, I started thinking 'The cake is a lie!' You know, like in the movie Portal, where the computer promises cake but it's a lie."
So now you don't know if the Oreos were even there, do you?
"Nope. But mom, I've decided I want to find the ultimate joke that will end crime and injustice and bring about world peace. Think about it, World Peace Through Humor!"
Let me know when you find it, i told her.
Meanwhile, a funny sign that might not bring about world peace, but may make you smile. This past Good Friday, a local Catholic Church had a sign outside that said, "He is Risen! No Bingo Tonight."
Today is
Birthday of Emperor Haili Selassi I -- Rastafari
Flag Day -- Abkhazia
Gorgeous Grandma Day -- a day to celebrate those who age, date, and mate in style!
Hot Enough For Ya Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays as the only day on which you may utter these words; any other day, and you will get high fived on the back of the head! ;)
Hurricane Supplication Day -- US Virgin Islands
Mayan Sun Festival -- honoring Ahau Kin, the sun god, date approximate
National Vanilla Ice Cream Day
Neptunalia and Salcia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (god and goddess of the ocean and wide seas, celebrates Neptune in his role as god of irrigation)
Private Eye Day -- internet generated
Remembrance Day -- Papua New Guinea
Renaissance Day -- Oman (celebrates the accession of Qaboos bin Said Al Said, 14th Sultan of Oman)
Revolution Day -- Egypt
St. Apollinaris' Day (Patron against epilepsy, gout; of Aachen, Germany; Burtscheid, Germany; Düsseldorf, Germany; Ravenna, Italy; Remagen, Germany)
St. Bridget of Sweden's Day (Patron of widows; Europe; Sweden)
St. Phocas the Gardener's Day (Patron of agricultural workers, boatmen, farm workers, farmers, field hands, gardeners, husbandmen, mariners, market-gardeners,sailors, watermen)
Warei Shrine Summer Festival -- Warei Shrine, Uwajima City, Japan (through tomorrow, includes "bull-sumo", a non fatal type of bull fighting, where the bulls try to push each other out of the ring)
Anniversaries Today
Prince Andrew, Duke of York marries Sarah Ferguson, 1986
Coronation of King Mohammed VI of Morocco, 1999
Birthdays Today
Daniel Radcliffe, 1989
Michelle Williams, 1980
Nomar Garciapara, 1973
Marlon Wayans, 1972
Charisma Carpenter, 1970
Philip Seymour Hoffman, 1967
Woody Harrelson, 1961
Lamont "ShowBoat" Robinson, 1961
Don Imus, 1940
Don Drysdale, 1936
Bert Convy, 1933
Amalia Rodrigues, 1920
Harold "Pee Wee" Reese, 1918
Arthur Treacher, 1894
Haile Selassie I, 1892
Raymond Chandler, 1888
Today in History
William Austin Burt patents the Typographer, a precursor to the typewriter, 1829
The Province of Canada is created by the Act of Union, 1840
The Federation Internationale de Gymnastique, the world's oldest international sport federation, is founded, 1881
The Ford Motor Company sells its first car, 1903
Fox Film buys the patents of the Movietone sound system for recording sound onto film, 1926
Telstar relays the first publicly transmitted, live trans-Atlantic television program, featuring Walter Cronkite, 1962
The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling within 4 years, 1982 *
Air Canada Flight 143 runs out of fuel and makes a deadstick landing at Gimli, Manitoba, 1983
Comet Hale-Bopp is discovered, 1995
Cape Verde becomes the 153rd member of the World Trade Organization, 2008
*Don't I wish that had worked!
A few random boring things today for you on the most boring blog in the world.
In the birthday listing, you will see the name Philo T. Farnsworth. Every time I mention the poor guy, I get a blank stare. He deserves better than that. Just because his invention has been abused by becoming nothing more than a form of entertainment, and lowest common denominator entertainment at that, does not negate that he was a genius.
So, what did he do? He invented television, that's what. Furthermore, he invented the old vacuum tubes and other systems that were early tvs during Prohibition, and had his lab raided by G-men convinced he was running a distillery. He gave them a full tour that put their minds at ease, he was just a "nutty professor" in their eyes after that.
The final item has a "naughty" word in it, so I will insert a second random discussion, my take on "naughty" words. I feel about them as my grandmother did. My grandmother K was a lovely woman, and taught me how and when to use such language.
It was one Thanksgiving, and we had traveled back to the farm to visit for the holiday. My grandfather got it into his head that he did not just want a traditional turkey for the meal, he also wanted a duck. He nagged at my grandmother, and she got more upset, yet quieter, and finally someone drove her to the store to get a few needed items (she never learned to drive).
Upon coming back from the store, she began unpacking her purchases, and this quiet, lovely grandmother, who had never been heart to utter anything remotely "naughty" -- no one in the family even knew that she understood the meaning of the word -- told him, "And I got your F***ing duck, too!"
My grandfather was stunned into silence, realizing that for once in his life he had pushed her beyond the limit. This taught me that using what is generally considered to be foul language should be saved for the utmost in extreme situations, as it loses effectiveness when used too often.
In fact, I have noticed that people who sprinkle such words through their sentences like too much salt because they don't know how to use other seasonings have no way of letting people know when they really and truly mean something has gotten to them.
In my final randomness, what follows is an assessment of health care. Just to be totally clear, I did not write this, nor I do not know who did. It seems to be circulating on the net, so if you have seen it, I apologize. I do think it sums up the situation quite well, so I quote it here in its entirety:
The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Healthcare Reform Proposals:
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. The Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see some advantages in it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the *ssholes in Washington.
Today is:
Buhe, Ethiopia (Christian remembrance of the Transfiguration.)
Candlelight Vigil for Homeless Animals Day
Edingurgh International Festival, Scotland
Festival of Random Access Memory
Independence Day, Afghanistan
National Aviation Day
National Medical Dosimetrist Day
National Soft Ice Cream Day
Potato Day
St. John Eudes' Day
St. Sebald's Day (a/k/a Sebaldus) (Patron Saint against Freezing)
The Rustic Vnalia -- Old Roman goddess Venus, Festival of Ripening
Grapes
Birthdays Today:
(Hold on to your hats, this was a very popular day for famous people to
be born, apparently.)
Snuffleupagus (year unconfirmed)
LeAnn Womack, 1966
John Stamos, 1963
Adam Arkin, 1956
Mary Matlin, 1953
Jonathan Frakes, 1952
John Deacon, 1951
Tipper Gore, 1948
Bill Clinton, 1946
Jill St. John, 1940
Diana Muldaur, 1938
Willie Shoemaker, 1931
Gene Roddenberry, 1921
Malcolm Forbes, 1919
Jimmy Rowles, 1918
Ring Lardner, Jr., 1915
Philo T. Farnsworth, 1906
Ogden Nash, 1902
Coco Chanel, 1883
George Bellows, 1882
Orville Wright, 1881
John Dryden, 1631
Today in History:
Roman Senate compelled to elect Octavian, later Augustus Caesar, Consul, BC43
Augustus Caesar dies, 14
Crusaders defeat the Saracens in the Battle of Ascalon, 1099
Mary Queen of Scots arrives in Leith to assume the throne, 1561
Five women are executed for witchcraft in Salem, Mass., 1692
The New York Herald reports the discovery of gold in California, 1849
Hurricane Dianne kills 200 and does about $1 Billion in damage, 1955
