Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A to Z Challenge: H is for Hereafter

Ol' Boudreaux he up and die, and he go stan' before the Pearly Gates of Heaven.

St. Peter come out and he say, "Welcome, Boudreaux!  Before you come in, you have to take a short test.  But don't worry!  It's not hard, and I know you will pass it."

Boudreaux, he say, "Well, go ahead!  I know I can pass any tes'.  Afta all, I done gragitated all dem years ago!"

St. Peter asks him, "How many seconds are there in a year?"

An' Boudreaux he say, "Twelve!"

St. Peter asks him, "How in the world do you get 12?"

An' Boudreaux he say, "Second of January, second of February..."  An' St. Peter interrupt and say, "All right, Boudreaux, I'll give you that one.  Now, how many days are there in a week?"

So Boudreaux he say, "Two!  Today and tomorrow!"

"Not quite what I was looking for, but I'll give you that, too.  So now you have to answer this one right, Boudreaux.  Who is our Heavenly Father?"

An' Boudreaux he say, "Howard!"

St. Peter just stare at Ol' Boudreaux for a secon' and den he says, "What you do you mean, 'Howard'?"

"Well, das easy," say Boudreaux.  "Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name!"

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So Young Boudreaux, he get old like Ol' Boudreaux, and he die an', well, he was a wild one and he dint make it up to dem Pearly Gates.  The Ol' Scratch, he say, "Oh, Boudreaux, I've been waiting for you!  How do you like the heat down here?"

An' Boudreaux he say, "Oh, mais, I like it jes' fine!  It's like being out on the bayou in June!"

So the Ol' Scratch, he decide he ain't havin' none of dat, so he turn up the heat.  De nex' day, he ask Boudreaux agai', "Hey, Boudreaux, how do you like the heat?"

An' again Boudreaux he say, "Oh, mais, dis is jes' like the bayou back home in July!"

Well, Ol' Scratch ain't goin' tolerate this, so he turn de heat up again.  Then, nex' day, he ask Boudreaux again, an' Boudreaux he say, "Dis remin' me of bein' out on the bayou in Augus'!"

Finally, Ol' Scratch has had enough.  He pitched a huge fit, roaring and yelling, and turned the heat all the way down so that everything froze solid.  Den he ask Boudreaux one more time, "How do you like this now, Boudreaux!"

An' Boudreaux say, "Oh, dis is one happy Cajun!"

Ol' Scratch is so angry he can hardly say anything, but fin'ly he sputter out, "What do you mean, happy?"

Boudreaux, he say, "Hell done froze over!  De Saints mus' have won de Super Bowl!"

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux and Trosclair be talkin', and Trosclair he say, "If you could listen' in at your own funeral, what would you wan' dat people be sayin' bout you?  Me, I would want dem to say what a fine, upstandin' person I was, and a great fisherman, and dat I never took unfair advantage of nobody."

Thibodeaux he say, "Well, I would wan' dem to say dat kin' of stuff, too, only I would also wan' dem to say dey t'ink I was one of de bes' when it come to helping people."

An' finally Boudreaux say, "Well, I t'ink de only t'ing I would wan' dem to say is, 'Look!  He's movin'!'"

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De Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have some Cajuns up here in Heaven who are causing some problems.   They are swinging on the pearly gates,sliding down stairway to Heaven, and my horn is missing!   They play their accordions and dance all night!    There is rice all over the clouds!   There is barbecue sauce all over their robes and some of them aren't even wearing their halos, saying they won't wear it because it doesn't have an LSU logo on it!"


The Lord said, "I made them special, as I did you, my angel. Heaven is home to all my children. If you really want to know about problems, let's call the Devil and see how he is dealing with his Cajuns."

The Devil answered the phone, "Hello? Dang it, hold on!"


The Devil returned to the phone and said, "Hello God, what can I do for you?"

 God replied, "Tell me what kind of problems you are having down there with the Cajuns you have there."

The Devil said, "Wait a minute," and puts the Lord on hold.

After 5 minutes he returned to the phone, and said, "Okay, I'm back.  What's the question?"

God asked again, "What kind of problems are you having with the Cajuns down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this... Hold on, God.."

This time, the Devil was gone for 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said, "I'm sorry, God, I can't talk right now. These Cajuns have done put out the fire, and in the last year have had five bingos, two bake sales, three jambalaya dinners, and a bazaar and if they raise another $1,000 they will have enough to install air conditioning!!"  




Today is

Astronauts' Day -- web generated by someone who wants all these brave people honored

Baghdad Liberation Day -- Kurdistan, Iraq

Bataan Day/Day of Valor -- Philippines (Araw ng Kagitingan)

Be Kind to Lawyers Day -- after all, you will need one someday, for something www.BeKindToLawyers.com

Children's Day in Florida -- FL, US

Dita e Kushtetutes -- Kosovo (Constitution Day)

Dry Milk Day -- the first patent for powdered milk was issued this day in 1972 to Samuel Percy

Feast of Jalal (Glory) -- Baha'i

Independence Restoration Day -- Georgia (formerly Day of National Unity)

Martyr's Day -- Tunisia

Name Yourself Day -- an internet holiday allowing you to change your name for a day, if you want to.

National Cherish An Antique Day -- hooray for old fashioned quality!

National Chinese Almond Cookie Day

National Equal Pay Day -- US (the date of how far into 2012 a US woman had to work to earn what a US man did in 2011)

Observation of the Nazi Occupation -- Denmark (anniversary of the Nazi invasion)

Public Library Day -- US (anniversary of the opening of the first "publicly funded" library -- i.e. a tax based, free library -- in the US, in 1833 in Petersborough, New Hampshire)

Remembrance for Haakon Sigurdsson -- Asatru/Norse Pagan Calendar (Haakon the Great, one of the Jarls of Hladhir)

St. Casilda's Day (Patron against sterility)

St. Mary of Cleophas' Day (one of the Marys in the Bible who was present at the Crucifixion)

Sun 'n Fun International Fly in & Expo -- Lakeland, Florida, US (preserving and enhancing the future of flight; through April 14)

Verruca Day -- Fairy Calendar (Goblin Celebration again)

Vimy Ridge Day -- Canada

Winston Churchill Day -- commemorates his becoming an honorary US citizen

World Konkani Day -- Goa (Official language of the Indian state of Goa; on the death anniversary of the pioneer of modern Konkani literature, Vaman Raghunath Varde Valaulikar)


Anniversaries Today:

Sophia Loren marries Carlo Ponti, 1966
Charles, Prince of Wales, marries Camilla Parker-Bowles, 2005


Birthdays Today:

Elle Fanning, 1998
Kristen Stewart, 1990
Jesse McCartney, 1987
Leighton Meester, 1986
Keshia Knight Pulliam, 1979
Rachel Stevens, 1978
Gerard Way, 1977
Austin Peck, 1971
Cynthia Nixon, 1966
Paulina Prizkova, 1965
Dennis Quaid, 1954
Michael Learned, 1939
Avery Schreiber, 1935
Jean-Paul Belmondo, 1933
Hugh Hefner, 1926
Ward Bond, 1903
Paul Robeson, 1898
Efrem Zimbalist, 1889
Charles Baudelaire, 1821
Tamerlane, 1336


Today in History:

The Mongol hordes defeat the Poles and Germans in the Battle of Liegnitz, 1241
Robert Cavalier de la Salle reaches the mouth of the Mississippi River and claims all the land drained by the river and its tributaries for France, 1682
The African Methodist Episcopal church in the US is formed in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 1816
The oldest audible sound recording of a human voice is made, 1860
Robert E. Lee surrenders the Army of Northern Virginia to Ulysses Grant at Appomattox Court House, effectively ending the US Civil War, 1865
Passing by a single vote, the United States Senate ratifies a treaty with Russia for the purchase of Alaska, 1967
The Hudson Bay Company cedes its territory to Canada, 1869
Jumbo the Elephant arrives in the US, 1882
The Titanic leaves Queenstown, Ireland for NYC, 1912
The first full color film, "World, The Flesh, and The Devil", premiers in London, 1914
Mae West makes her NYC debut in "Diamond Lil," 1928
The first Japanese built aircraft to fly to Europe, the Kamikaze, arrives at Croydon Airport in London, 1937
The Suez Canal is officially opened for shipping, 1957
NASA announces the selection of the United States' first seven astronauts, whom the news media quickly dub the "Mercury Seven", 1959
In the first game in the Astrodome, Houston beats the Yankees 2-1 in an exhibition game, and Mickey Mantle hits the first indoor home run, 1967
The first British built Concorde makes its first flight, 1969
Georgia declares its independence from Russia, 1991
The funeral of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother, at Westminster Abbey, 2002

7 comments:

  1. Hahaha, loved your little story. That's a good one! Very inspiring. Sitting here with a big smile on my face and don't know what else to say, really :-)))

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  2. Angelika, Boudreaux jokes are just for smiles, i'm glad it gave you one.

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  3. Boudreaux . I love these jokes. Thanks.

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  4. Lordy....I havent laughed so loud so early in the morning in a long time...hilarious!
    have a swell Tuesday!

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  5. Fun stories. Poking fun at the devil seems to be part of the human condition.

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  6. Leah, i'm glad you like them.

    Kathe, every day needs to start with a laugh.

    Stephen, yes, it is.

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  7. Ha .. fun stuff. Good ole Boudreaux!

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