There are times when my Brother-in-Law, The Mouth, and his blunders remind me of a Three Stooges comedy routine.
He came over for dinner as usual, and as usual, he was afraid to take off his hat. The man would leave his own rear end behind if it were not attached. Keys, wallet, glasses, attache case, hat, coat, everything that can possibly be separated from his person is in continual danger of being left behind wherever he goes. In fairy tales they leave trails of bread crumbs. He leaves trails of belongings in his wake. It wouldn't take a trained detective to follow his path and know exactly what he has been doing, where, and when.
So he comes over for dinner, and not only do i cook a meal, i pull out all the leftovers and sometimes grab a few things i stashed in the freezer, too. He isn't called The Mouth for nothing, although he does have a knack for saying the wrong thing at the exact wrong moment, too.
Pot roast, gravy, rice, soup with lots of veggies. turnip greens, leftover brisket, leftover pasta and shrimp, leftover pork and veggie stir fry. He's in hog heaven, he loves a spread.
He takes the leftover pork and veggie stir fry, warms it up, and wants to add it to the soup. Sounds odd to me, but he likes it, so okay. He is ladling the soup up, and true to his clumsy self, manages to tip his bowl and spill half the stir fry into the gravy, into the turnip greens, onto the stove, and i even had to pull one of the grills off and clean out from under it.
"Darn!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. "Himmel!" Yes, darn and himmel are his worst. He doesn't smoke, drink more than one glass of wine a night, or cuss. Yes, he does play piano at church, why do you ask?
He then snatched off his hat, that he had left on so he wouldn't forget it, and tossed it onto the counter in frustration, knocking over the bottle of olive oil.
I shrieked, dashed past him and grabbed the oil just before the top could come loose. Safe!
At that point, i made him put his hat in the refrigerator with his spinach that i get for him at Sam's Club where it is cheaper, and, so that he wouldn't forget the spinach or the hat, his keys. Can't start the truck without the keys.
The whole time i was cleaning the mess, i was thinking of the time Curly Howard was in court, and the Judge told him to take off his hat. He did so, and then the Judge said, "Raise your right hand." Curly put the hat back on so as to have his hand free to raise it. Then he is again ordered to "Take off that hat!" Over and over. Never did he think of putting down the cane he held in his left hand, or setting the hat in his lap.
Dealing with my Brother-in-Law is a bit like that. Laugh so you don't cry.
Eve of Brigantia -- Ireland (St. Bridget's Eve, the night when she crosses the countryside and bestows blessings)
Feast of Great Typos (I've made several of those!)
Feast of Hecate -- Ancient Greek Calendar
Independence Day -- Nauru
Inspire Your Heart with Art Day
National Brandy Alexander Day
National Gorilla Suit Day -- Mad Magazine's Maddest Artist, Don Martin, says this is the day to pull that gorilla suit out of the closet and step out in style.
National Popcorn Day
National Seed Swap Day
St. John Bosco's Day (patron of editors, apprentices)
Valkyries' Day -- Norse Calendar
Justin Timberlake, 1981
Kerry Washington, 1977
Minnie Driver, 1971
Kelly Lynch, 1959
Nolan Ryan, 1947
Charlie Musselwhite, 1944
Richard Gephardt, 1941
Suzanne Pleshette, 1937
James Franciscus, 1934
Ernie Banks, 1931
Jean Simmons, 1929
Carol Channing, 1923
Norman Mailer, 1923
Mario Lanza, 1921
Jackie Robinson, 1919
Thomas Merton, 1915
Garry Moore, 1915
Tallulah Bankhead, 1903
Eddie Cantor, 1892
Zane Grey, 1872
Tokugawa Ieyasu, Shogun of Japan, 1543
Today in History:
Guy Fawkes is executed for his plotting against Parliament and James I of England, 1606
The first venereal diseases clinic opens at London Lock Hospital, 1747
The Corn Laws (tariffs on imported grains) are abolished in Britain, paving the way for more free trade, 1849
The United States orders all Native Americans to move into reservations, 1876
The Bulletin of Sydney is founded, publishes for 128 years, 1880
An automobile exceeds 100 mph (161 kph) for the first time, at Daytona Beach, driven by A. G. MacDonald, 1905
The Soviet Union exiles Leon Trotsky, 1929
Scotch tape is first marketed by the 3M Company, 1930
President Harry S. Truman announces a program to develop the hydrogen bomb, 1950
A North Sea flood causes over 1,800 deaths in the Netherlands, 1953
Explorer 1 – The first successful launch of an American satellite into orbit, 1958
James Van Allen discovers the Van Allen radiation belt, 1958
Mercury-Redstone 2 – Ham the Chimp travels into outer space, 1961
The Soviet Union launches the unmanned Luna 9 spacecraft as part of the Luna program, 1966
Astronauts Alan Shepard, Stuart Roosa, and Edgar Mitchell, aboard a Saturn V, lift off for a mission to the Fra Mauro Highlands on the Moon, 1971
The first McDonald's in the Soviet Union opens in Moscow, 1990
We Keep Moving
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