Thursday, April 4, 2013

A to Z Challenge: D is for Dumb Laws

Bigger Girl loves dumb laws -- those silly laws that shouldn't have been passed or which should have been repealed long ago.  (In fact, some of them may have been , but they are still funny.)

A few favorites, at least one from every State in the Union:


It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.


Waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.


Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.


School teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.


It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. (specific to the city of Cripple Creek.)


In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.


It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.


Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.


No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.


Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.


You may not fish from the back of a camel.


You must contact the police before entering a city in an automobile.


Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.


One-armed piano players must perform for free.


One-armed piano players must perform for free.


Every citizen of the state must take a bath at least once a year, whether it is needed or not.


Dogs may not molest cars. (specific to the city of Fort Thomas)


It is illegal to gargle in public.


Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.


Thistles may not grow in one’s yard.


No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.


At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.


A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.


A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.


Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.


It is illegal to frighten a baby.  (specific to the city of Mole)


It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.


Parents may be arrested if their child burps during a church service.


It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.


It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.

New Hampshire

On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey

You may not slurp your soup.


It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

New Mexico

Idiots may not vote.

(hm, this one might not be so bad)

New York

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.

North Carolina

It’s against the law to sing off key.


While having sex, you must have the shades pulled.


All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double beds that are at least two feet apart.

besides which

If a man and a woman who aren’t married go to a hotel/motel and register themselves as married then, according to state law, they are legally married.

(sorry, North Carolina, you are just too funny!)

North Dakota

It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.


It is illegal to get a fish drunk.


It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.


Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.


It is illegal to take a bite of someone else's hamburger.


One may not bathe without wearing “suitable clothing."


Ice cream may not be eaten on Sunday.


Housewives may not hide dirt or dust under a rug in a dwelling.


It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.


You may not sing in the bathtub.

Rhode Island

It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

South Carolina

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.

South Dakota

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.


Skunks may not be carried into the state.

(wonder if that includes some politicians i know of?)


It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.


It is illegal to idle or loiter anyplace within the corporate limits of the city for the purpose of flirting or mashing. (specific to the city of Abilene)


It is illegal not to drink milk.


Birds have the right of way on all highways.


Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.


It is illegal to tickle women.


You may not wash your mule on the sidewalk.  (specific to the city of Culpeper)


The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and/or imprisonment.

West Virginia

It is prohibited to whistle underwater.


Apple pie served in public restaurants must be accompanied by cheese.


You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Today is

Ballroom Dance Day -- dance with your sweetheart today in honor of the birth anniversary of Arthur Murray

Bonza Bottler Day

Children's Day -- Taiwan

Homogenized Milk Day -- a machine to homogenize milk was patented this day in 1892 by Auguste Gaulin

Hug a Newsman/Newswoman Day -- an internet holiday, and be careful, no more fiascos like the gropings in 2009, please, just a nice hug

Independence Day -- Senegal

International Day for Mine Awareness & Assistance in Mine Action -- UN

Matsuyama Haru Matsuri -- Matsuyama, Ehime Prefecture, Japan (Spring celebrations incorporating the Matsuyama Castle festival and the Dogo Hot Springs festival)

Megalesia, a/k/a Festival of Magna Mater -- Ancient Roman Calendar (great mother festival for Cybele; through the 9th)

Nafels Pilgrimage -- Canton Glarus, Switzerland (commemoration of the Battle of Nafels in 1388, observed with processions, prayers, sermon, and a reading of the names of those killed in battle)

National Cordon Bleu Day

National D.A.R.E Day -- US (cannot confirm date, but usually by Presidential Proclamation on the first Thursday of April)

National Reading a Roadmap Day -- another internet holiday that some sites call "Learn to Read A Roadmap Day, but a good one to observe; you need to know how to read one when your GPS battery dies, after all

Ose Matsuri -- Ose Shrine, ShizouKa Prefecture, Japan (men dressed in women's clothes dance a lively jig on board a boat afloat in the harbour which is festooned with flags and streamers while taiko groups play drums on shore in this festival thought to date back to a wife wanting to protect her fisherman-husband by giving him a kimono)

Peace Day -- Angola

Quing Ming Jie -- China; Hong Kong; Macau; North Korea; Taiwan (Tomb Sweeping Day, last day of the Quingming Festival)(a/k/a Festival of Clear Brightness, Festival for Tending Graves, Grave Sweeping Day, Chinese Memorial Day, Tomb Sweeping Day, Spring Remembrance, and All Souls Day (not to be confused with the Roman Catholic holiday of the same name))

St. Benedict the African's Day (Patron of African missions; African-Americans; Palermo, Sicily, Italy)

St. Isidore of Seville's Day (Patron of computer technicians, computer users, computers, the Internet, schoolchildren, students)

Swedish-American Friendship Day

Tell a Lie Day -- an internet generated holiday; the only day it is acceptable! make sure, after today, to clear it up, trust me

Victims of Violence Day -- anniversary of the assasination of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Walk Around Things Day -- fun to do, it makes people look at you funny

World Rat Day -- pet rat lovers everywhere, unite and introduce your friends to your pet rats

Anniversary Today:

Bill Gates and Paul Allen found Microsoft Corporation, 1975

Birthdays Today:

David Blaine, 1973
Nancy McKeon, 1966
Robert Downey, Jr., 1965
David Gavurin, 1963
Gary Moore, 1952
Christine Lahti, 1950
Craig T. Nelson, 1946
Anthony Perkins, 1932
Maya Angelou, 1928
Muddy Waters, 1915
Frances Langford, 1914
Ernestine Gilbreth Carey, 1908
John Cameron Swayze, 1906
Arthur Murray, 1895
Dorothea Dix, 1802

Today in History:

Francis Drake is knighted for completing a circumnavigation of the world, 1581
Sir Robert Walpole becomes First Lord of the Treasury of England, and is so influential in the Cabinet that he is considered the de facto first Prime Minister of England, 1721
Napoleon abdicates for the first time, 1814
Casparus van Wooden of Amsterdam patents chocolate milk powder, 1828
William Henry Harrison dies of pneumonia becoming the first President of the United States to die in office and the one with the shortest term served, 1841
Bryant's Minstrels debut the song "Dixie" in a blackface minstrel show, 1859
Susanna Medora Salter is elected the first US woman mayor, in Argonia, KS, 1887
Cecil Rhodes scholarship fund is established, 1902
An earthquake in India's Kangra Valley kills 20,000, destroys most of three cities, 1905
Vitamin C was first isolated by C.C. King at the University of Pittsburgh, 1932
Twelve nations sign the North Atlantic Treaty, creating NATO, 1949
Martin Luther King, Jr., is assassinated, 1968
Dr. Denton Cooley implants the first temporary artificial heart (the patient survived for 65 hours), 1969
The World Trade Center in NYC is dedicated, 1973
Bill Gates and Paul Allen form Microsoft, 1975
Space Shuttle Challenger makes its maiden voyage into space, 1983
Marc Andreessen and Jim Clark found Netscape Communications Corporation under the name "Mosaic Communications Corporation", 1994
Comet Hyakutake is imaged by the USA Asteroid Orbiter Near Earth Asteroid Rendezvous, 1996
The Angolan government and UNITA rebels sign a peace treaty ending the Angolan Civil War, 2002
15 British Royal Navy personnel held in Iran are released, 2007


  1. I love those laws. If I even go to North Carolina I'd best be careful. Off is the only key I know.

  2. As an Oregonian I will tell you that I'll bathe wearing appropriate clothing long before I'll give up eating ice cream of Sundays.

  3. Leah, i don't sing in public, either, for reasons that would become obvious if i ever did.

    Stephen, i don't blame you a bit!

  4. I'm always amazed by the time legislators have to waste on this crap. I say we cut their salaries by at least 50%, have them do all their business in three months or so, then leave the other 9 months alone so we can not worry about them for that time period.

    As a resident of Massachusetts, I think I'll go out of my way to eat FOUR sandwiches at the next funeral I attend, just to see what happens.

  5. oh ho! the Alaska law is common sense. Oregon law is made to be broken and North Carolina is pure silliness!hahaho

  6. "D" is for dumb? I thought it stood for DUDE as in Burnt Food Dude. LOL

    Those are really dumb laws.

    Have a great weekend (coming up)

    Steve (aka Da Dude)

  7. I'm in Delaware. Does a puddle count as a body of water? If so, I broke the law no less than 15 times today on my morning run in the rain. Stupid laws.