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"Actually Jesus coming back would have been the first most unexpected thing that could have happened yesterday," Festus was saying.
What? i asked, as i walked in, not sure i had heard him correctly.
"Oh, I was just talking about Miss Lizzy coming by to get help with her friend's kitten yesterday. I was saying that I never would have expected her to be here, and that her coming was the most unexpected thing that could have happened yesterday. Then I amended myself, because actually, Jesus coming back would have been the most unexpected thing that could have happened. So her coming over was the second thing I would have least expected to happen yesterday."
Okay, i said. After all, what else do you say to that?
This did remind me of something unexpected that happened to Father Boudreaux one Sunday.
Father Boudreaux decided he wasn't going to tell anyone, but he was going to sneak off to the golf course early one Sunday morning alone and get in a quick nine holes before saying Mass.
St. Peter noticed this, and of course he brought it to The Lord's attention.
"He should be ashamed of himself!" fussed Peter. "After all, he should be setting a good example!"
G-d nodded, seeming to agree, but a couple of holes later, Father Boudreaux hit a 450-yard drive that rolled in a curve and landed right in the cup.
St. Peter was almost apoplectic. "What!" he practically yelled. "Here I thought you agreed he probably needed to have a lesson taught to him about setting a good example and putting You first on Sunday, and You not only give him a hole-in-one, You give him a fabulous drive to go with it!"
Bemusedly the Almighty looked at St. Peter and said, "Who's he going to tell?"
Baby Boomer Recognition Day
Father's Day -- Egypt; Jordan; Lebanon; Palestine; Syria; Uganda (always June 21 in these countries)
Father's Day -- Afghanistan; Albania; Antigua and Barbuda; Argentina; Aruba; Bahamas; Bahrain; Bangladesh; Barbados; Belize; Bermuda; Brunei Darussalam; Canada; Cambodia; Chile; People's Republic of China; Colombia; Costa Rica; Cuba; Curaçao; Cyprus; Czech Republic; Dominica; Ecuador; Ethiopia; France; Ghana; Greece; Guyana; Hong Kong; Hungary; India; Ireland; Jamaica; Japan; Kenya; Kosovo; Kuwait; Laos; Macau; Madagascar; Malaysia; Malta; Mauritius; Mexico; Mozambique; Myanmar; Namibia; Netherlands; Nigeria; Oman; Pakistan; Panama; Paraguay; Peru; Philippines; Puerto Rico; Qatar; Saint Lucia; Saint Vincent and the Grenadines; Singapore; Slovakia; South Africa; Sri Lanka; Suriname; Trinidad and Tobago; Tunisia; Turkey; United Kingdom; United States; Venezuela; Vietnam; Zambia; Zimbabwe
Family Awareness Day -- US (a day to reflect on the importance of fathers)
Go Skateboarding Day -- and break something? leaving this to the young; sponsored by the International Association of Skateboard Companies (IASC)
Martyr's Day -- Togo
National Aboriginal Day / First Nations Day -- NT, Canada
National ASK Day -- prevent gun violence and accidental deaths, ASK if there is an unlocked gun anywhere that your child plays, because Asking Saves Kids! http://askingsaveskids.org
National Peaches & Cream Day
Reaping Machine Day -- Cyrus McCormick was granted a patent for his mechanical reaper this day in 1834
Solstice -- 16:39UCT/12:39pm EDT; related observances:
Aimless Wandering Day -- use the extra daylight to wander someplace with nothing particular to do
Anne and Samantha Day -- remembrance for Anne Frank and Samantha Smith, and their contributions to our world
Daylight Appreciation Day -- celebrating the benefits of sunshine
Finally Summer Day/Finally Winter Day
Hump Day -- Tasmania (because it is the shortest in the year, Taswegians today feel they are over the "hump" of winter.)
Inti Raymi -- Inca (festival of the sun god Inti, ongoing);Sacsayhuamán Andes Mountain Natives (winter solstice and New Year festival)
Litha / Yule -- Wicca/Pagan (northern hemisphere / southern hemisphere)
Midnight Sun Baseball Game -- Fairbanks, AK, US (begins promptly at 10:35pm local time, and played without any artificial lights allowed)
Midsomarsblog -- Norse Viking celebrations (time of fishing, trading, and raiding)
Midsummer -- Midsummer Festivals begin -- Juhannus Day in Finland and Midsommar in Denmark and Norway, celebrated over the next several days in many Scandinavian traditions; often this time is also associated with betrayal, as the sunlight begins to decrease, this is when Baldur was betrayed, as well as Sigurd.
Midsummer -- Asatru/Slavic Pagan
Midsummer Baal -- Ancient Celtic Calendar
Polar Bear Swim -- Nome, AK, US (if they can break through the ice!)
Solsticio de Invierno / Ano Nuevo Aymara -- Bolivia (Winter Solstice / Aymara Indiginous People's New Year)
We Tripantu -- Chile (Mapuche natives winter solstice festival)
Wadjet Summer Solstice Ceremony -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (date approximate, it may have been a multi-day ceremony that began on Midsummer's Eve)
St. Alban's Day (Patron of epileptics, people with hernias; against epilepsy, hernias, kidney stones)
St. Aloysius Gonzanga's Day (Protector of young students, young men; Patron of AIDS care-givers and patients; for relief from pestilence; Castiglione delle Stiviere, Italy; Valmonte, Italy; against sore eyes)
Tano (Dano) Festival -- Korea (start of a 3 day traditional festival of spring and farming, with summer food offered at the household shrine of the ancestors; 5th day of 5th lunar month)
Tiger-Get-By's Third Birthday -- Fairy Calendar
Ulloortuneq -- Greenland (National Day)
World Handshake Day -- no one likes them fishy, and it's not a contest; practice a firm grip and a smile! not to be confused with National Handshake Day, today's sponsor is here
World Music Day -- begun in the UK, now celebrated everywhere
New Hampshire becomes the 9th US State, 1788
Kris Allen, 1985
Prince William (William Arthur Philip Louis), 1982
Juliette Lewis, 1973
Larry Wachowski, 1965
Sammi Davis-Voss, 1964
Doug Savant, 1964
Berkeley Breathed, 1957
Rick Sutcliffe, 1956
Benazir Bhutto, 1953
Nils Lofgren, 1951
Meredith Baxter, 1947
Michael Gross, 1947
Ray Davies, 1944
Mariette Hartley, 1940
Joe Flaherty, 1940
Bernie Kopell, 1933
Maureen Stapleton, 1925
Jane Russell, 1921
Jean-Paul Sartre, 1905
Al Hirschfeld, 1903
Reinhold Niebuhr, 1892
Henry Ossawa Tanner, 1859
Daniel Carter Beard, 1850
Daniel D. Tompkins, 1774
Martha Dandridge Custis Washington, 1731
Increase Mather, 1639
"Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg"(Wagner opera), 1868
Today in History:
Jews are expelled from Nurenberg Bavaria by Emperor Maximillian, 1498
The Incident at Honno-ji takes place in Kyoto, Japan, 1582
In Montreal in New France, a slave known by the French name of Marie-Joseph Angélique is put to death, having been convicted of the arson that destroyed much of the city, 1734
Halifax, Nova Scotia, is founded, 1749
The first Victoria Cross is awarded during the bombardment of Bomarsund in the Åland Islands, 1854
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police fire a volley into a crowd of unemployed war veterans, killing two, during the Winnipeg General Strike, 1919
The first successful west-to-east navigation of Northwest Passage begins at Vancouver, British Columbia, 1940
Columbia Records introduces the long-playing record album in a public demonstration at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City, 1948
Ellen Louks Fairclough is sworn in as Canada's first woman Cabinet Minister, 1957
In handing down the decision in Miller v. California 413 US 15, the Supreme Court of the United States establishes the Miller Test for obscenity in U.S. law, 1973
SpaceShipOne becomes the first privately funded spaceplane to achieve spaceflight, 2004
Pluto's newly discovered moons are officially named Nix & Hydra, 2006
Greenland assumes self-rule, 2009
The U.S. officially charges Edward Snowden with espionnage, 2013