Saturday, December 10, 2011

Two From My Loony Bin

"Mom, I have the gorilla tape," said #2 Son as he headed for the car.

Just make sure you tape the mirror from the back side, i told him. The tape can't be seen from the front.

"Why not?"

So i explained to him that, if they see the tape, the vehicle might not pass inspection in February. The mirror in question is not broken, but there is a small crack in one of the pins that holds it on from the back. The tape will make sure no more break and it stays put, but i don't want to take any chances, some inspectors are worse than others.

"Oh, don't worry about passing inspection," he snickered.

Why not?

"Well, see, i have this friend, and he can get you anything like that..."

Never mind!

"Hey, Mom!" Bigger Girl came running in just at that moment. "I need some stuff!"

What?

"A gallon of sulfuric acid, some fireworks, a banana plantation, a zebra, and don't ask any questions!"

And we wonder why i lost my mind years ago.


Today is:

Chief Red Cloud Day -- marking the Sioux leader's death in 1909; defender of Native rights, son of Lone Man and Walks As She Thinks

Constitution Day -- Thailand

Day of the Horse -- California, US

Do Something Wild and Crazy with Velveeta Day -- guess they mean besides turn it into Hillbilly Hor d'oeuvres (melted with Rotel and served with chips)

Foire Aux Noix -- Bastogne, Belgium (Nuts Fair)

Full Cold Moon or Full Long Nights Moon

International Animal Rights Day

International Human Rights Day

International Shareware Day

Lux Mundi -- Ancient Roman Calendar (honoring Libertas as the bringer of light into the world)

National Lager Day

Nobeldagen -- Sweden (Alfred Nobel Day, presentation of the Nobel Prize)

Sister-Friend Day -- internet generated, but if you have a sister who is a good friend to you, it's worth celebrating

St. Eulalia's Day (Patron of Barcelona, childbirth, sailors, travelers, calm waters; against miscarriage)

Whirling Dervishes Festival -- Konya, Turkey (through the 17th)


Anniversaries Today:

Mississippi becomes the 20th US State, 1817



Birthdays Today:

Raven-Symone, 1985
Bobby Flay, 1964
Kenneth Branach, 1960
Susan Dey, 1952
Dan Blocker, 1928
Dorothy Lamour, 1914
Chet Huntley, 1911
Emily Dickinson, 1830


Today in History:

Martin Luther publicly burns the papal edict demanding that he recant, 1520
Isaac Newton's paper De Motu Corporum in Gyrum, containing the derivation of Kepler's laws from his theory of gravity, is read to the Royal Society by Edmund Halley, 1684
The Massachusetts Bay Colony becomes the first American Colonial government to borrow money, 1690
The metric system is formally established in France, 1799
The first traffic lights are installed outside the Palace of Westminster in London, 1868
Women's suffrage is granted in Wyoming Territory, the first in the US, 1869
Women are granted suffrage in Tasmania, 1902
The 10,000,000th Model T Ford is assembled, 1915
The Grand Ole Opry makes its radio debut, in Nashville, Tn, 1927
UN General Assembly adopts the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 1948
Ralph J Bunche becomes the first black to receive the Nobel Peace Prize, 1950
The United Nations General Assembly approves Pakistan's proposal for establishing nuclear free-zone in South Asia, 1981
The last shift leaves Wearmouth Colliery in Sunderland; the closure of the 156-year-old pit marks the end of the old County Durham coalfield, which had been in operation since the Middle Ages, 1993

1 comment:

  1. Ever get the feeling your life is turning into a Warren Zevon song? (Specifically I was thinking of "Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money")

    ReplyDelete