Sunday, June 24, 2012

Hospital Dietary and Nutrition Services Notes

Hospital Dietary and Nutrition Services Notes:

Patient is a full blown PITA.  Claims to be a vegetarian, and when we tried to put eggs on her plate, thanked me but said no.  When asked about diary, said she is intolerant.

She wouldn't even eat the hash browns.  When told the lunch menu items on the vegetarian menu were macaroni and cheese and french fries, she asked for salad and fruit.  When given a fruit cup, she noted that pasteurized fruit cups have sugar and very little nutritional value left.

The only thing she was willing to eat all week were the side salads and fresh cut up fruit or whole fruit.  She picked at the steamed veggies and picked the vegetarian red beans off of the rice and said that potatoes are for fattening pigs and corn for fattening cattle, and neither are real vegetables except the non-GMO corn, whatever that is, and it has to be served raw, of all things.

She keeps saying crazy stuff like that sugar is poison, white food is white like cocaine or heroin because those foods are as addictive as the drugs, and that she gave up all but the food the Good Lord grows out of the ground years ago so she could lose her weight and she's kept it off the same way and she isn't about to change now.

Patient won't accept peanut butter, she says peanuts are the wrong kind of protein for humans to digest, since they aren't real nuts, but legumes.  The real nut here is her.

Her kids keep smuggling in stuff from health food stores that looks like nuts and seeds and rabbit food.  Flipping insane.  Claims to eat an almost totally "raw vegan" diet, whatever that is.  It sounds subversive.

The only normal thing about her is that she loves coffee.  She says she's a Louisiana girl and will have her coffee, black as the swamp mud and hot as the bayou, it's part of the religion of the region.  Being a coffee drinker myself, this i get.

The rest of it is nutty bat-crap crazy, and if you people ever assign me a patient like this again to try to feed, I Quit!

Today is

America's Kids Day -- founded to encourage parents to teach their children the value of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

Bannockburn Day -- Scotland (decisive battle of the first Scottish War of Independence, led by Robert Bruce)

Burning of the Lamps in Egypt at Sais -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar, a celebration of Isis and Neith (date approximate)

Calcio Fiorentino -- Florence, Italy (reviving 16th century style football in period costumes, through the 28th)

Carabobo Day -- Venezuela

Celebration of the Senses -- Wellcat Holidays urges you to enjoy all five (six?) of your senses today

Countryman's Day -- Peru

Day of the Caboclo -- Amazonas State, Brazil

Descendent's Day -- a day for all the world's citizens to take an accounting of their activities during the prior year and how those will affect those who come after us

Feast of Rahmat (Mercy) -- Baha'i

Festival of the Tarasque -- Tarascon, France (legendary dragon tamed by St. Martha)

Flying Saucer Day -- anniversary of Kenneth Arnold's 1947 sighting, while flying near Mt. Rainier, of 9 metallic, circular objects he could not identify

Fors Fortuna -- Ancient Roman Calendar (rites and festival for the goddess of good luck and fortune)

International Fairy Day -- day for collectors, believers, and artists to share their love for the little folk

La Festa Del Gigli -- Nola, Campagna, Italy (Festival of the Lilies, in honor of St. Paulinus)

Log Cabin Day -- The Log Cabin Society, dedicated to preserving log cabins and the old fashioned ways of life

Lost Handkerchief Day -- Fairy Calendar

Macau Day -- China

Manila Day -- Philippines

Mother's Day -- Kenya

Museum Comes to Life Day -- another fun and funny day someone came up with

National Creamy Pralines Day

Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day, Quebec

Singing on the Mountain -- Grandfather Mountain, Linville, NC, US (traditional and modern gospel music, with local and nationally known artists and speakers)

St. John the Baptist's Nativity Day and related Midsummer celebrations (Patron of baptism, bird dealers, converts, children with convulsions, epileptics, farriers, French Canadians, lambs, monastic life, motorways, printers, tailors; against convulsions, epilepsy, hail and hailstorms, and spasms; Patron of over 60 cities and countries around the globe)
    Inti Raymi -- Peru (Incan Sun Festival)
    Jaanipaev -- Estonia
    Jani -- Latvia
    Jónsmessa -- Iceland (feast of St. John the Baptist, considered a magical night when cows can speak, seals take on human form, finding magical stones and herbs is propitious, and rolling naked in the dew is healing.)
    Midsummer Day -- England
    National Holiday -- Quebec
    Saint Jonas Festival or Jonines -- Lithuania
    Surinal -- North Korea

Swim a Lap Day -- just for fun!

Swing a Kid Day -- if swimming isn't right for you

Tabarka Music Festivals -- Tabarka, Tunisia (Salsa Festival, through July 1, Jazz Festival, the week following; perfect weather for music, workshops, seminars, and performances by local and international artists)

Zuni Corn Dance -- Zuni Native Americans (for fertility of land and people, through the 27th)

Anniversaries Today:

Eton College is founded by Henry VI, 1441

Birthdays Today:

Sherry Stringfield, 1967
Joe Penny, 1956
Mick Fleetwood, 1947
Jeff Beck, 1944
Michele Lee, 1942
Phil Harris, 1904
Jack Dempsey, 1895
Roy O. Disney, 1893
Ambrose Bierce, 1842
Henry Ward Beecher, 1813

Today in History:

Battle of Cedynia, the first documented victory of Polish forces, takes place, 972
A sudden outbreak of St. John's Dance causes people in the streets of Aachen, Germany, to experience hallucinations and begin to jump and twitch uncontrollably until they collapse from exhaustion, 1374
John Cabot lands in North America at Newfoundland; the first European
exploration of the region since the Vikings, 1497
Miguel Lopez de Legazpi founds Manila, the capital of the Republic of the Philippines, 1571
Samuel de Champlain discovers the mouth of the Saint John River, site of Reversing Falls and the present day city of Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada, 1604
The colony of New Jersey is founded, 1664
Kingston, Jamaica is founded, 1692
The Premier Grand Lodge of England, the first Masonic Grand Lodge in the world (now the United Grand Lodge of England), is founded in London, England, 1717
The first republican constitution in France is adopted, 1793
The decisive battle in the war of independence of Venezuela from Spain, the Battle of Carabobo takes place, 1821
First performance of O Canada, the song that would become the national anthem of Canada, at the Congrès national des Canadiens-Français, 1880
The first exhibition of Pablo Picasso's work opens, 1901
Mary Pickford becomes the first female film star to get a million dollar contract, 1916
The first airmail service in Canada from Montreal to Toronto begins, 1918
Siam is renamed Thailand by Plaek Pibulsonggram, the third prime minister, 1939
The Soviet Union makes overland travel between the West with West Berlin impossible, 1948
The United Kingdom grants Zanzibar internal self-government, 1963
Sultan bin Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud completes his first mission, becoming the first Arab and first Muslim in space, as a Payload Specialist, 1985
John Isner of the United States defeats Nicolas Mahut of France at Wimbledon, in the longest match in professional tennis history, 2010


  1. I try and tolerate vegetarians but I agree with the person who said: If God didn't want us to eat his creatures, He shouldn't have made them so tasty.

  2. Stephen, i appreciate the tolerance, and if we ever meet up someday, i'll cook you a gumbo, and it will have tasty creatures in it.


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