Saturday, November 17, 2012

In Honor Of...

 ...National Farm Joke Day:

The farmer and his wife were regular church goers, but Wilbur could not stay awake during the whole sermon to save his life (or his soul, for that matter, but i digress).

His long suffering wife, Leah, complained that her elbows were calloused from poking him to keep him awake, but it did no good.

The pastor found out that the other church members were taking bets on how long the sermon could keep Wilbur awake, but telling Wilbur this still had no effect.

Finally one day, at the store, Leah got an idea.  She bought some Limburger cheese and brought it home.  Putting it in an airtight container, she slipped it into her purse on Sunday morning just as they were leaving for church.

As the pastor began the sermon, Wilbur began to look sleepy as usual.  By about 1/3 of the way through the message, his head began to nod.  Sure enough, by the time the pastor was making his most salient points, Wilbur was snoring.

Leah was ready.  She took the container of Limburger from her purse, lifted the air tight lid, and waved it under Wilbur's nose.

Wilbur suddenly sat bolt upright and, in a voice that could be heard all over the sanctuary, said, "Leah, will you please keep your feet on your side of the bed!"

Happy Saturday, all.


Today is:

Army Day -- Democratic Republic of the Congo

Electronic Greeting Card Day -- internet generated, and of course probably started by the electronic greeting card websites

Family Volunteer Day -- to get families working together to better their communities and the world; info here



Holidays in the City Grand Illumination Parade -- Norfolk, VA, US (to kick off Thanksgiving and the upcoming holidays)

Homemade Bread Day -- use the bread machine, it's fun and easy, i promise!

International Students Day -- International (meant to celebrate all students around the world, not specifically students studying in countries other than their own; anniversary of the Nazi storming and closing of the University of Prague)

John Peter Zenger Day -- marking his arrest in 1734 for libel; he continued to edit his newspaper from jail and was acquitted, an early victory for freedom of the press

Kalamazoo Russian Festival -- Kalamazoo, MI, US

National Adoption Day -- US (encouraging us to find a home for every child; many courts finalize thousands of adoptions of children from foster care on this day each year)

Natchitoches Festival of Lights -- Natchitoches, LA, US (over 350,000 lights go on every night from now until Jan, 6, with carolers on Friday and Saturday evenings downtown, festivals and events every weekend; come celebrate the season in the Oldest Settlement in the Louisiana Purchase)

National Baklava Day

National Farm Joke Day

National Unfriend Day -- all those people on Facebook you regret accepting as friends?  Jimmy Kimmel suggests you unfriend them today!

National Survivors of Suicide Day -- US (remembering those who have lost loved ones to suicide, especially as Thanksgiving and the holidays are coming)

Nordic Yulefest -- Nordic Museum, Seattle, WA, US (a Scandinavian holiday extravaganza; through tomorrow)

'Ohana Makahiki Festival -- Big Island, Hawai'i (through tomorrow; Celebration of Life, based on the native precontact 4 month new year celebration)

PCS and Homeplace Festival -- Waretown, NJ, US (a family affair with country, bluegrass, and traditional music)

Polytechneio -- Greece (anniversary of the 1973 student protests against the junta)

Presidents' Day -- Marshall Islands

Public Restroom Hand Dryer Appreciation Day -- internet generated, and why?  they've been proven less sanitary, blowing germs everywhere; i will not appreciate this one

Ranch Hand Breakfast -- King Ranch, Kingsville, TX, US (a real ranch hand meal, cooked and served outdoors, on a working cattle ranch where you can watch cowboys round up longhorns)
     part of La Posada de Kingsville, with special holiday celebrations through December

Shogi Day -- Japan (celebrating shogi, a chess-like game)

St. Elizabeth of Hungary's Day (Patron of bakers, beggars, brides, charitable societies, charitable workers, countesses, exiles, falsely accused people, hobos, homeless people, hospitals, lace makers/lace workers, nursing homes, nursing services, people in exile, people ridiculed for their piety, tertiaries, tramps, widows; Sisters of Mercy; Teutonic Knights; Erfurt, Germany; Jaro, Philippines; against in-law problems, the death of children, toothache)

St. Hilda's Day (Patron of learning and culture)

St. Hugh of Lincoln's Day (Patron of sick children, sick people, swans)

Struggle for Freedom and Democracy Day -- Czech Republic; Slovakia

Surin Elephant Round Up -- Surin, Thailand (includes elephant football, elephant tugs-of-war, and parades; through tomorrow)

Take A Hike Day -- internet generated, and some websites say it's actually "Tell Your Boss to Take a Hike Day", but i don't recommend that unless you've recently inherited a fortune or won the Lotto

Winter Welcome Quadrilles and Dainty-Sixes -- Fairy Calendar

World Prematurity Day -- because one in 10 babies is born prematurely, facing a very hard start in life



Birthdays Today:

Laura Wilkinson, 1977
Daisy Fuentes, 1966
Danny DeVito, 1944
Lorne Michaels, 1944
Tom Seaver, 1944
Lauren Hutton, 1943
Martin Scorsese, 1942
Gordon Lightfoot, 1938
Rock Hudson, 1925
Lee Strassberg, 1901
Atahualpa, last Emperor of the Inca, 1502
Flavius Claudius Julianus, Roman Emperor, 331
Vespian, Roman Emperor, 9


Today in History:

Diocletian is proclaimed emperor by his soldiers, 284
England and Spain sign an anti-French covenant/treaty, 1511
Elizabeth I ascends the English throne, 1558
France and Spain sign the Peace of the Pyrenees treaty, 1659
The Church of England organizes in New England, 1785
Congress holds its first session in the still incomplete Capitol Building of Washington, D.C., 1800
The Delta Phi fraternity, America's oldest continuous social fraternity, is founded at Union College in Schenectady, New York, 1827
Ecuador and Venezuela separate from Greater Colombia, 1831
Street signs are first authorized at San Francisco intersections, 1853
David Livingstone becomes the first European to see Victoria Falls, 1855
Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's Slavonic March is given its première performance in Moscow, 1876
Japan and Korea sign The Eulsa Treaty, 1905
The first US dental hygienist course is formed, in Bridgeport, Connecticut, 1913
US declares the Panama Canal Zone to be neutral, 1914
Lenin defends the "temporary" removal of freedom of the press, 1917
American scientists John Bardeen and Walter Brattain observe the basic principles of the transistor, a key element for the electronics revolution of the 20th Century, 1947
Douglas Engelbart receives the patent for the first computer mouse, 1970
In Czechoslovakia, the Velvet Revolution that would overthrow the communist government begins when student protests in Prague are quelled by riot police, 1989
Brian May of the rock band Queen was appointed Chancellor of Liverpool John Moores University, 2007

3 comments:

  1. Funny story, although I'm probably the one with smelly feet at my house.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilary, i got a few other people with this one.

    Stephen, i would never believe that of you.

    ReplyDelete