Tanks, mon cher, fo' de pear tree, but i doan tink it will grow in de swamp, so i change it for a satsuma. De bird, what you call a "partridge", was good in de dirty rice.
Tanks again, mon cher, fo' dem two "turtle doves." Dey look jes' like pigeons, and went well in de gumbo.
Much as you is my love, I'm gittin' tired of all dem birds! Two of dem prissy hens you sent i give to my frien' Marie, and de udder to my Catahoula cur dog.
Mias, cher, i done tol' you, no more dem birds! Dese "callin' birds" was so noisy, we heard dem all de way across Gran' Bayou! Dey was good gator bait, tho'.
Now you talkin'! Gold rings is so useful, i hock them up in town and use de money to fix ma shrimp boat and buy a roun' of drinks fo' de boys and me while I was dere. Merci!
Dem birds again! Geese dis time! Dey is scarin' de dog, and I doan know what I'm a gonna do. Maybe one of dem will be good for Christmas dinner, but de rest got to go, dey peck like crazy when you try to take de eggs, not like de chickens. An' you know I got no use fo' birds dat don' give me eggs.
Do you be insane! Thibeau de mailman is 'bout to wanna kill you, but he gotta get in line. Dem swans, I sent dem out for a swim on de bayou, and some duck hunters from Mississippi done shot dem and take dem for trophies.
Poor Thibeau de mailman had to make lotsa trips to deliver dem eight young girls wit' dere cows. De gators spooked one o' de cows and it near upset his boat! Den dose girls, dey won' do nuttin' aroun' here -- dey say cleaning' fish ain't in de contract. I don' trust dem.
Thibeau done had to borrow de ferry boat to bring dem leapin' twits out chere, an' dey want tea and won' drink de coffee wit' chicory. How I'm a gonna feed all deze people? Dem cows done et up most of my turnip green patch, and mos' ever'ting else I be growin', too! An' dey's all too snooty for de fried nutria an' alligator.
I know now dat you out you ever lovin' mind, and Thibeau gonna kill you fo sure. He bring me dem half nekkid floozies from Bourbon Street, and dey say dey is Ladies but dey don' act like no ladies I ever done see, specially in front dem Limey leapin' twits. We done be eatin' a couple de' cows now, and I done had to go get dem terlit paper, dey won' use de Sears catalog, dey's too snooty to use dat on dere behin's!
Where y'at and pip pip an all dat. De pipers came from de House of Blues, second linin' as dey got off de boat. Dey all having fun now, dancin' wit de floozies, and we fixing stuffed goose and beef jambalaya, and we's gonna have us a fais-do-do.
Cheerio an' all dat. Well, I ain't your mon cher no mo', no. After de fais-do-do, me an Jaques done spent de night together, an' we gots us enough pipes and drums fo' a band, and de dancin' floozies gonna dance, and de leaping Limey "Lords" gonna be de valets and the maids wait tables, an' we gonna have a nice restaurant and gentlemen's club right out chere on de bayou. Ta ta!
Alcyone -- Ancient Greek Calendar (kingfisher goddess; date approximate, but during the Halcyon Days)
Bill of Rights Day -- US
Cat Herders Day -- for those whose job or life is like trying to herd cats; sponsored by Wellcat Holidays
Centipede Boot-Making and Shoe-Repair Season begins -- Fairy Calendar
Consualia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (Festival for Consus, god of graineries, with games and races in the Circus Maximus in his honor)
Coonskin Cap Day -- debut of "Davy Crocket" on TV's "Disneyland" in 1954 (and the original Davy Crockett hated the things, by the way)
Homecoming Day -- Alderney, UK
Icelandic Yuletide Lad of the Day, Pvorusleikier -- Spoon-licker, who tries to steal all the wooden spoons he can find
Kasuga Wakamiya on-Matsuri -- Nara Prefecture, Japan (dates to the 12th century, to pray against plague and for a good harvest; through the 18th)
Koninkrijksdag -- Bonaire, St. Eustatius and Saba; Sint Maarten (Kingdom Day)
National Lemon Cupcake Day
National Regifting Day -- be careful here!
Navidades begin -- Puerto Rico (traditional Christmas celebrations that last through Three Kings Day)
Setagaya no Bori Ichi -- Setagaya-ku, Tokyo, Japan (a two day flea market that dates back to 1578)
St. Nino's Day (Patron of Georgia)
Third Sunday of Advent -- Christian
Lighting the Candle of Joy
Trivial Pursuit Day -- honoring Canadians Chris Haney and Scott Abbott, who created the game on this date in 1979
Zamenhof Day -- International Esperanto Community
Sylvester Stallone weds Brigitte Nielson, 1985
Adam Brody, 1979
Garrett Wang, 1968
Helen Slater, 1963
Nick Beggs, 1961
Don Johnson, 1949
Dave Clark, 1942
Tim Conway, 1933
Edna O'Brien, 1931
Friedensreich Hundertwasser, 1928
Uziel "Uzi" Gal, 1923
Jeff Chandler, 1918
Stan Kenton, 1911
J. Paul Getty, 1892
Ludwik Lejzer Zamenhof, 1859
Alexandre Gustave Eiffel,1832
"Charlie Girl"(Musical), 1965
"Gone With the Wind"(Film), 1939
Today in History:
Byzantine general Belisarius defeats the Vandals, commanded by King Gelimer, at the Battle of Ticameron, 533
Hulagu Khan captures and destroys the Hashshashin stronghold at Alamut in present-day Iran as part of the Mongol offensive on Islamic southwest Asia, 1265
Bartholomeus Diaz returns to Portugal after sailing round Cape of Good Hope, 1488
The State of Holland grants patent on a windmill with crankshaft, 1593
The first US law school is established at University of Pennsylvania, 1791
The first Irish magazine in US, Shamrock, is published, 1810
The first street-cleaning machine in US is used in Philadelphia, 1854
The King of Hawaii becomes the first reigning king to visit the Us, and is received by President Grant, 1874
The London Underground's Great Northern, Piccadilly and Brompton Railway opens, 1906
Bandleader, Major Glenn Miller, is lost over English Channel, 1944
Gemini 6A, crewed by Wally Schirra and Thomas Stafford, is launched from Cape Kennedy, Florida; four orbits later, it achieves the first space rendezvous, with Gemini 7, 1965
Samoa becomes a member of the United Nations, 1976
U.S. President Jimmy Carter announces that the United States will recognize the People's Republic of China and cut off all relations with Taiwan, 1978
The 3rd reactor at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant is shut down, 2000
The Leaning Tower of Pisa reopens after 11 years and $27,000,000 to fortify it, without fixing its famous lean, 2001
Boeing's new Boeing 787 Dreamliner makes its maiden flight from Seattle, Washington, 2009