Kitten, i said to the one clawing its way up my pants leg as its way of telling me it is hungry, you are a pain in the asterisk.
Bigger Girl heard me say that, and laughed. "Mom, really? 'Pain in the asterisk'?"
Well, i replied, if it were climbing up the back of my pants, i could instead call it a pain in the assets!
"Mom, that's almost as bad as the Roman character whose name was 'Biggus Dickus' in the movie, um, was it Life of Brian? Or was it A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum? Well, anyway, do you know what i liked about the movie Life of Brian?"
Surprise me, i said.
"It's the fact that they aren't making fun of Jesus, they are making fun of people who misunderstand Him and who misinterpret His message."
Before i could quite digest that, Little Girl came in.
"Mom, good news! I passed my English EOC with an Excellent! That means I don't have to take the final exam for Literature or Writing!" she said.
That is good news, and at that point it was time for me to go back to my precious little pains in the asterisk.
Dog-Prodding Day -- Fairy Calendar (Gremlins)
Doodle 4NF Auction Days -- Neurofibromatosis Foundation's biggest fundraiser, from today until May 18, go to Ebay to bid on doodles drawn by celebrities
Fête de l'iris -- Belgium (Brussels Region Day)
Helston Furry Dance a/k/a The Flora -- Helston, Cornwall, England (the world-famous dance is each year on May 8, unless that day is Sunday or Monday, when it's held the Saturday before; dancing around the streets begins very early in the morning)
Iris Day -- celebrate these beautiful spring flowers
Liberation Day -- Czech Republic; Slovakia
Miguel Hidalgo Day -- Mexico (birth anniversary of the father of Mexican independence)
Mom's Night Out -- sponsored by momsniteout.com
National Animal Disaster Preparedness Day -- US (FEMA wants yu t make plans for your pets in case of disaster or emergency)http://www.fema.gov/media-library/assets/videos/75356
National Children's Mental Health Awareness Day -- US (SAMHSA's "Caring for Every Child's Mental Health" public awareness effort)
National Coconut Cream Pie Day
National Empanada Day
National Student Nurses Day -- US
No Socks Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays, who want you to let your toes go free, and cut down on your laundry a bit today
Parents' Day -- South Korea
Stay Up All Night Day -- some teenager probably thought this one up, as an excuse to go ahead and convince the parents it was okay
St. Ida of Nivelles' Day (Patron of erysipelas patients, toothache sufferers; against erysipelas and toothache)
Time of Remembrance and Reconciliation for Those Who Lost Their Lives during the Second World War -- International
Truman Day -- Missouri, US
V-E Day -- some countries celebrate today, some celebrate tomorrow
World Ovarian Cancer Day -- International (because while up to 89% of women with breast cancer are likely to survive 5 years or more, only 45% of women who get ovarian cancer will survive that long)
World Red Cross Day / World Red Crescent Day
Enrique Iglesias, 1975
Robert M. Hensel, 1969
Melissa Gilbert, 1964
Janet McTeer, 1961
David Keith, 1954
Toni Tennille, 1943
Peter Benchley, 1940
Rick Nelson, 1940
Thomas Pynchon, 1937
Charles “Sonny” Liston, 1932
Don Rickles, 1926
David Attenborough, 1926
Robert Johnson, 1911
Bishop Fulton Sheen, 1895
Harry S Truman, 1884
Louis Moreau Gottschalk, 1829
Jean-Henri Dunant, 1828
Miguel Hidalgo Y Costilla, 1753
"Let It Be"(Album), 1970
"A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"(Musical), 1962
"Look Back in Anger"(Play), 1959
Concerto in E-flat, "Dumbarton Oaks"(Stravinsky concerto), 1938
Today in History:
Hernando de Soto reaches the Mississippi River and names it Río de Espíritu Santo, 1541
Antoine Lavoisier, the father of modern chemistry, is tried and guillotined by the Reign of Terror, 1794
Future US president Zachary Taylor defeats a Mexican force north of the Rio Grande in the first major battle of the Mexican-American war, 1846
At Gilmore's Gardens in New York City, the first Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show opens, 1877
George B. Selden files the first patent for an automobile in the US, 1879
Pharmacist John Styth Pemberton first sells a carbonated beverage named "Coca-Cola" as a patent medicine, 1886
In Martinique, Mount Pelée erupts, destroying the town of Saint-Pierre and killing over 30,000 people, 1902
In Rheims, France, German forces agree to an unconditional surrender, ending the war in Europe, 1945
The roller coaster Revolution, the first steel coaster with a vertical loop, opens at Six Flags Magic Mountain, 1976
Reinhold Messner and Peter Habeler make the first ascent of Mt. Everest without supplemental oxygen, 1978
The World Health Organization announces the eradication of smallpox, 1980
The new Canadian War Museum opens, in commemoration of the 60th anniversary of V-E Day, 2005
Putting The Fun Back Into Infundibulum
8 minutes ago