This is what i figure today's schedule will look like.
Get up. Figure out no one else in the house wants to get up at the same time as you, which is to say before the crack of 9am.
Finally get everyone out of bed, except #2 Son, who is at work and will be coming later, and #1 Son, who wakes up like a bear disturbed in January (he will take your head off) and who will therefore come with #2 Son.
Call Brother-in-Law, The Mouth, to find out why he isn't over here yet. Find out he got the time mixed up, and since he's "weak in the mornings" (read, he's almost as bad as #1 Son to awaken), he will be here soon. His definition of soon is another hour.
Finally get everyone, and the two pies, cornbread, cornbread dressing, hojaldras, and the football programs Grandpa has written to you 6 times asking you not to forget stuffed into the car, since the Jalopy can't make the trip because her transmission is occasionally bucking like a bronco, and we don't want to get stranded in NOLA. Be glad you stuffed the ice chests in #2 Son's car the night before for him to bring.
Leave the house and hear the "we want more coffee" chant from everyone. Stop for coffee at the convenience store, where Brother-in-Law, The Mouth, will insist on also using the restroom one more time and complaining about the cleanliness of public restrooms.
Ignore the urge to ask him why he didn't go back at the house, because i don't want to hear the answer.
Get everyone back in the vehicle, and on the road.
Let Sweetie drive to NOLA, attempting to stay near the speed limit while every other driver on the road passes us at more than 10mph over it, except the people on their phones who are driving at 10mph under the limit while weaving in their lanes. Listen to the complaints about other drivers while trying not to roll eyes.
Arrive at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Unfold yourself from your pretzel position in the back seat and empty the contents of the car.
Get fussed at for not coming earlier, for not telling them the Jalopy was having trouble, and for the color of the sky, because Grandma is a great woman but she loves to fuss.
Greet the dog, who wants to lick you to death, then give Grandpa his hojaldras. Hug everyone, including Uncle P, Uncle J, Bryn, and Dre, and get into the kitchen to start boiling giblets to make broth for gravy.
Spend the rest of the morning cooking and watching parades and hoping Brother-in-Law, The Mouth, doesn't say anything too controversial.
Have all the food ready and wait for the boys to drive in.
Wait a little longer. Wonder what happened to them.
When they finally arrive, pray and eat. The prayer almost takes longer than the eating, as these people can inhale like a pack of wild dogs.
Have dessert, pack the leftovers into the ice chests, clean up, mop the floor, pack the cars with the extra stuff Grandpa will send, and hope everyone and everything fits.
Hugs all around, and drive home. Unpack and watch everyone go for leftovers as you put them away, making for less stuff to put away.
Get the turkey carcass into the crock pot with lots of water to make turkey stock for gumbo for the weekend.
Drop into bed, glad there is no need to cook much beyond the gumbo for the next few days.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone who celebrates! Hope you are having as much fun as i'm going to!
Anniversary of Cerro de Pasco -- Peru (founding of the city and its silver mine)
Bargle Day -- Fairy Calendar (a fairy day with no human equivalent)
Daytona Turkey Run -- Daytona International Speedway, Daytona Beach, FL, US (collector car show, swap meet, and craft sale; through Sunday)
Electric Guitar Day -- birth anniversary of Jimi Hendrix
Feast of Ullr and Skadi -- Asatru/Norse Pagan (celebrating craftsmen)
Foods & Feasts of Colonial Virginia -- Jamestown Settlement, Williamsburg, VA, US (exploring the 17th- and 18th-century culinary practices of Virginia; through Saturday)
Freckle Pride Day -- show your spots, you are beautiful!
Get the Giggles and Give One Away Day -- internet generated, and great if your a preteen girl
Khoiak Ceremonies -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (ceremonies surrounding the stories of the death of Osiris, date approximate)
Lancashire Day -- Lancashire, England (celebrating their first elected representative in Parliament in 1295)
Maaverar Naal -- Tamil Eelam, Sri Lanka (Tamil Heroes' Day)
National Bavarian Cream Pie Day
National Family History Day -- US (a call from the Department of Health and Human Services to get info about your family, especially health history, while everyone is together for the holidays)
Pie in the Face Day -- internet generated, and supposed to be a virtual one, so no mess to clean
Pins and Needles Day -- celebrating the 1937 opening of the Pins and Needles Music Revue
St. Virgilius of Salzburg's Day (Patron of Salzburg, Austria; Slovenes)
St. James Intercisus' Day (Patron of lost vocations, torture victims)
Thanksgiving Day -- Interfaith, US and Territories
National Day of Mourning -- Native Americans
Turkey-Free Thanksgiving -- sponsored by the Vegetarian Awareness Network
William Shakespeare marries Anne Hathaway, 1582
Jaleel White, 1976
Samantha Harris, 1973
Brooke Langton, 1970
Robin Givens, 1964
Fisher Stevens, 1963
Caroline Kennedy, 1957
Rick Rockwell, 1956
Kathryn Bigelow, 1951
Jimi Hendrix, 1942
Eddie Rabbit, 1941
Bruce Lee, 1940
Gail Henion Sheehy, 1937
Alexander Dubcek, 1921
"Buffalo" Bob Smith, 1917
Chick Hearn, 1916
James Agee, 1909
L. Sprague de Camp, 1907
Forrest Shaklee, 1894
Chaim Weizmann, 1874
Charles A. Beard, 1874
Bat Masterson, 1853
Robert R. Livingston, 1746 (O.S. date)
Anders Celcius, 1701
Emperor Xiaozong of China, 1127
"Magical Mystery Tour"(Beatles album release), 1967
"Never Too Late"(Play), 1962
"The Dinah Shore Show"(TV), 1951
Today in History:
The first elected representatives from Lancashire were called to Westminster by King Edward I to attend what later became known as "The Model Parliament", 1295
The first Eddystone Lighthouse is destroyed in the Great Storm of 1703
The Portuguese Royal Family leaves Lisbon to escape from Napoleonic troops, 1807
Adoption of Constitution of the Kingdom of Poland, 1815
NY Times dubs baseball "The National Game", 1870
Alfred Nobel establishes the Nobel Prize, 1895
In New York City, the first Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is held, 1924
The Soviet space program's Mars 2 orbiter releases a descent module; it crashes, but still becomes the first man-made object to be on Mars, 1971
The left-wing Labour Party takes control of the New Zealand government with leader Helen Clark becoming the first elected female Prime Minister in New Zealand's history, 1999
A hydrogen atmosphere is discovered on the extrasolar planet Osiris by the Hubble Space Telescope, the first atmosphere detected on an extrasolar planet, 2001
The Canadian House of Commons endorses Prime Minister Stephen Harper's motion to declare Quebec a nation within a unified Canada, 2006
Icelanders vote for their own constitution after using a modified Danish constitution for 66 years, 2010
The Nissan Leaf self-driving car completes its first test in Japan, on the Sagami Expressway, 2013
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46 minutes ago