"Hey, Mom, did you hear about the conversation between the Mormon and the Scientologist?" Bigger Girl asked.
No, what happened? i asked.
"The Mormon said, 'I can't wait to get my own planet, I'll be a god!' and the Scientologist said, 'Not if Xenu escapes his volcanic prison first!'"
Very funny! i said, laughing. Then i added, thanks, i needed that.
"Hard day?" she asked.
Well, i answered, i got up to take your sister to class for her one exam, and i couldn't get your car to start. So i got your younger brother's car, and it had that light on that means the tires are low on air. Your sister told me it had been that way since he got the car!
After dropping her off, then, i stopped at Kevin and Lenny's, and they aired up the tires and told me he needs new ones, and i'll drop it off tomorrow to get that because they didn't have them at the store. Then i came home, put laundry on the line, started another load, and got your car started, ran my errand, and went to pick up your sister.
On the way home she and i both heard your car making a weird noise when braking, so i stopped again and Lenny rode with me and the noise stopped! So i brought your sister home, put the rest of the laundry out to dry, did some chores and stuff around the house, and ironed everything when it was dry.
By then, it was time to take your sister to her fundraiser and for your dad and i to go to church for choir and the choir Christmas party and for prayer. Once the party was over and they were all singing, prayer was over so i put all the leftovers up and cleaned, and then we went back to get your sister, and now i'm home laughing over your jokes and getting ready to take the garbage to the curb.
Not a hard day, i concluded, but certainly busy. Oh, i added, and by the way, i need for you to help me get your brother's car to the shop tomorrow, and then for you to drop me off at work.
"I can do that, then I'm taking all of my friends for a day at the zoo. That's my Christmas gift to them this year, I'm treating them all to a day out there, and I'm packing a picnic lunch to have at the park up the road!"
Sounds like you will have a great time, i noted, as i headed upstairs.
Bake Cookies Day -- the holiday for everyone!
Eponalia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (feast of Epona, goddess of fertility and horses, mules, and donkeys; during the Saturnalia and the only Roman honoring of a Celtic deity)
Flake Appreciation Day -- snow or human, your choice!
Free Shipping Day -- with hundreds of participating merchants at http://www.freeshippingday.com/
Hanukkah -- Judaism (began sundown yesterday; through sundown Dec. 24)
Hug a Soccer Player Day -- this "holiday" has a Facebook page, but no other history
Icelandic Yuletide Lad of the Day, Hurdaskellir -- Door-Slammer, a noisy fellow who tries to keep everyone awake
International Answer the Phone like Buddy the Elf Day -- for fans of the film Elf, starring Will Ferrel
International Migrants Day -- UN
Khoiak Ceremony for the Sokar Festival -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (falcon god; date approximate)
Let's See What We Find In the Fridge Day -- to bravely see if you've left anything in the back that you shouldn't have
National Day / Founder's Day -- Qatar
National Roast Suckling Pig Day
National Scrooge Week begins -- at least according to Mr. Ed
Nuestra Senora de la Soledad -- Oaxaca, Mexico (Our Lady of Solitude, Patron of the lonely, of Oaxaca, and of sailors who bring her pearls)
Republic Day -- Niger
St. Flannan's Day (Patron of Killaloe, Ireland)
Tulya's E'en -- Orkney Island (beginning of the Yule season when evil spirits roamed; date approximate, as we aren't sure if they equated Yule initially with Dec. 25 or the 22nd)
Wear a Plunger On Your Head Day -- observe this internet generated holiday at your own risk (and you will be one of the human flakes, i guess, that the rest of us appreciate)*
Benazir Bhutto, Pakistan's future president, marries Asif Ali Zardari, 1987
Capitol Reef National Park established, Utah, US, 1971
The 13th Amendment to the US Constitution, outlawing slavery, takes effect, 1865
New Jersey becomes the 3rd US State, 1787
Christina Aguilera, 1980
Katie Holmes, 1978
Earl "DMX" Simmons, 1970
Rob Van Dam, 1970
Rachel Griffiths, 1968
"Stone Cold" Steve Austin, 1964
Brad Pitt, 1963
Ray Liotta, 1955
Leonard Maltin, 1950
Steven Spielberg, 1946
Keith Richards, 1943
Ossie Davis, 1917
Eddie "Cleanhead" Vinson, 1917
Douglas Fraser, 1916
Betty Grable, 1916
Willy Brandt, 1913
Benjamin O. Davis, Jr., 1912
Ty Cobb, 1886
Joseph Grimaldi, 1778
"The Sunshine Boys"(Play), 1972
"How the Grinch Stole Christmas"(TV premiere), 1966
"The Pink Phink"(first animated Pink Panther short), 1964
"To Tell The Truth"(TV), 1956
"The Nutcracker"(Ballet), 1892
Today in History:
Second Punic War: Battle of the Trebia - Hannibal's Carthaginian forces defeat those of the Roman Republic, BC218
Kublai Khan renames his empire "Yuan", officially marking the start of the Yuan Dynasty of China, 1271
The Mayflower lands in present-day Plymouth, Massachusetts with 102 Pilgrims on board, 1620
Abel Tasman becomes first European to land in New Zealand, 1642
Thomas Fleet publishes "Mother Goose's Melodies For Children", 1719
Empress Maria Theresa expels Jews from Prague, Bohemia & Moravia, 1774
The first celestial photograph (of the Moon) is made in US, by John Draper, NYC, 1839
William Bond obtains the first photograph of Moon through a telescope, 1849
Richard Wetherill and his brother in-law discover the ancient Indian ruins of Mesa Verde, 1888
The Upper Ferntree Gully to Gembrook Narrow-gauge (2 ft 6 in or 762 mm) Railway (now the Puffing Billy Railway) in Victoria, Australia is opened for traffic, 1900
The Piltdown Man, later discovered to be a hoax, is supposedly found in the Piltdown Gravel Pit, by Charles Dawson, 1912
Japan joins the United Nations, 1956
Saturn's moon Epimetheus is discovered by Richard L. Walker, 1966
Dominica joins the United Nations, 1978
HTML 4.0 is published by the World Wide Web Consortium, 1997
The first of a series of floods strikes Malaysia, 2006
United Kingdom's Queen Elizabeth II attends a meeting of the Cabinet for the first time, receiving a gift honoring her Diamond Jubilee; this was first time a Cabinet meeting was attended by a British monarch since the reign of Queen Victoria, 2012
*Unless this should have been Wear A Brand New, Never Before Used Plunger on Your Head Day, and was started by the plumbing supply industry
Strip The Bed
2 hours ago