More Context

This time from the family.

Young Jacob came in and called out, "Hi, honey, I'm home!"

To which i responded, hello, dear, i'm glad you are home! and he laughed as he headed downstairs to find the rest of the gang.

Then i left the house and had the following text conversation:

Me:  Heading out to babysit Gracie, your dad is working late, tell the yahoos i expect them to behave themselves.

Little Girl:  The two yahoos say they are naked and i should ask for help.  (Note:  the yahoos in question would be Festus and Young Jacob.)

Me:  Tell them if they are naked in this weather there is no help for them!  (Note:  the temperature was cold and getting colder.)

Little Girl:  They say it's cold.

Me:  You're darn tootin' it's cold!  The knuckleheads are going to freeze their assets off!

Little Girl:  Their assets are cold!

Me:  Yes, i'll bet they are!  That's what happens when you uncover your assets in the cold!

The next day, Little Girl told me, "They want you to know their assets froze!"  Yes, we are still laughing.


Today is:

Arbor Day -- Jordan

Armed Forces Day / Remembrance Day -- Nigeria

Army Day -- India

Basketball Day -- rules for the game were first published this day in 1892 (actually, the exact day debated, the year is certain)

Chosun-gul -- North Korea (Korean Alphabet Day)

Dia del Maestro -- Venezuela (Teacher's Day)

Feast of the Ass -- Ancient Roman Calendar (celebrates Vesta being saved by a donkey)

Feast of Entering Heaven and the Two Lands -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (date approximate)

Festival International du Cirque de Monte-Carlo -- Espace de Fontvielle, Monte Carlo (the best circus acts and performers from five continents; through the 25th)

Festival of All Fairies -- Fairy Calendar

Fiesta Del Senor de Esquipulas/Pilgrimage of Cristo Negro de Esquipulas -- Esquipulas, Guatemala (Festival of the Black Christ)

John Chilembwe Day -- Malawi

Lenaea -- Ancient Greek Calendar (a Festival of Comedy; date approximate)

Moliere Day -- France

National Hat Day -- begun by a hat loving individual who has chosen to remain anonymous

National Strawberry Ice Cream Day

Nosso Senhor de Bonfim Festival -- Salvador, Brazil (Our Lord of the Happy Ending Festival, at the church by that name; through the 25th)

Procrastinator's New Year -- declared by someone who had a really great sense of humor

Sailing of Wadjyt -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (the icon of the cobra goddess, Wadjyt, is carried on the Nile to visit many cities; date approximate)

St. Ita's Day (Patron of Limerick, Ireland)

St. Paul the Hermit's Day (the first of the Egyptian hermits; Patron of clothing industry, weavers)

Thiruvalluvar Day -- PY, TN, India (remembrance of the celebrated Tamil poet)

Tree Planting Day -- Egypt

Tsunahiki Matsuri -- Japan (various shrines hold tug-of-war festivals in which the team for god Ebisu vie with the team for god Daikoku; if Ebisu wins, the next year will have good catches at sea, if Daikoku, it will bring good harvests)


Anniversaries Today:

Opening of the British Museum, 1759
Elizabeth I is crowned Queen of England, 1559


Birthdays Today:

Drew Brees, 1979
Chad Lowe, 1968
Mario Van Peebles, 1957
Charo, 1951
Andrea Martin, 1947
Margaret O'Brien, 1937
Ernest J. Gaines, 1933
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., 1929
John Cardinal O'Connor, 1920
Lloyd Bridges, 1913
Gene Krupa, 1909
Elie Siegmeister, 1909
Edward Teller, 1908
Aristotle Onassis, 1906
Goodman Ace, 1899
Pierre S. du Pont, 1870
Philip Livingston, 1766
Jean-Baptiste Poquelin, a/k/a Moliere, 1622 (baptismal date, actual birth date unknown)


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Hill Street Blues"(TV), 1981
"Happy Days"(TV), 1974
The Democratic Donkey(symbol in newspaper comic), 1870
"Stella"(Goethe Play), 1816


Today in History:

Nebuchadnezzar II of Babylon lays siege to Jerusalem under Zedekiah's reign, in a siege lasting until July 23, BC588
Christopher Columbus sets sail for Spain from Hispaniola, ending his first voyage to the New World, 1493
Third sitting of the Council of Trent opens, 1562
The British Museum opens in Montague House in London, 1759
John Etherington of London steps out sporting the first top hat, 1797
The first US built locomotive to pull a passenger train begins its first run, with Mr. and Mrs. Pierson on board for the first US railroad honeymoon trip, 1831
The donkey is first used as a symbol for the Democratic Party, in Harper's Weekly, 1870
The Coca-Cola Company, then known as the Pemberton Medicine Company, is originally incorporated in Atlanta, Georgia, 1889
James Naismith publishes the rules of Basketball, 1892
Tchaikovsky's ballet "Swan Lake" premieres in St Petersburg, 1895
Dr. Lee DeForest patents a 3-element vacuum tube (one of the inventions that later made radio possible), 1907
The Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority becomes the first Greek-letter organization founded and established by African-American college women, 1908
The Boston Molasses Disaster, 2 million gallons of molasses spill, 21 killed, over 150 injured, 1919
The first building to be completely covered in glass, built for the Owens-Illinois Glass Company, is completed in Toledo, Ohio, 1936
The world's largest office building, The Pentagon, is dedicated in Arlington, Virginia, 1943
The US Supreme Court rules that "clear and present danger" of incitement to riot is not protected speech and can be a cause for arrest, 1951
The first Super Bowl is played in Los Angeles; the Green Bay Packers defeat the Kansas City Chiefs 35-10, 1967
The USSR launches Soyuz 5, 1969
The United Nations deadline for the withdrawal of Iraqi forces from occupied Kuwait expires, preparing the way for the start of Operation Desert Storm, 1991
Wikipedia goes online, 2001
An intense solar flare blasts X-rays across the solar system, 2005
ESA's SMART-1 lunar orbiter discovers elements such as calcium, aluminum, silicon, iron, and other surface elements on the moon, 2005
The Stardust space mission returns dust from a comet to Earth, 2006