Yesterday was Ms. S's funeral, so i did something almost unheard of, i took a day off.
Ms. V understood, Carl's room will still be waiting for me next week. Oh, joy!
Yes, laugh, i'm laughing, and i really don't mind.
Last Thursday i went over there to clean the rest of the house and Carl put his green pillowcases on the doorknob of the laundry room. When i saw them, i stopped him before he left for work and said, you know i washed these on Monday, right? They probably don't need to be washed again, do they?
He responded, "I've been waking up with a funny taste in my mouth and my teeth are pasty!"
What, i asked, does that have to do with your pillowcases?
He seemed to think that the pillowcases, which he's been using for several months now, were somehow the cause of it. When i told him that was very unlikely, it was probably something he was eating before bed, i offered to put the pillowcases back on his pillows.
"But you touched them!" he protested. "You've been cleaning and you don't know what's on your hands. Shouldn't they at least be wiped off?"
Laughing, i gave in and threw them in with his parents' wash.
Last Tuesday i was at Ms. RW's house and she was showing me pictures of her granddaughter, whose nickname is Birdie. Ms. RW said, "Look at those thighs! They are just like mine, but I don't know why they look so good on her and so bad on me!"
Yes, this job isn't easy, but it has its perks.
It's Carnival Time here and the parades are rolling. The best, at least to me, is the puppy parade (a fundraiser for a local animal rescue group).
Ms. S's funeral was a traditional Episcopalian service with traditional hymns, the kind of service i don't attend often as i go to the "contemporary service" at my church each Sunday. It was a blessing to sing some of the old songs with the organ playing, and it reminded me of the following funny observations about the difference between hymns and the more modern "praise and worship choruses."
An old farmer went to the city one weekend and attended the big city church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. Well,” said the farmer, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang praise choruses instead of hymns.”
“Praise choruses,” said his wife, “What are those?”
“Oh, they’re okay. They’re sort of like hymns, only different.” said the farmer.
“Well, what’s the difference?” asked his wife.
The farmer said, “Well it’s like this — If I were to say to you: Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a hymn. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you: Martha, Martha, Martha, Oh, Martha, MARTHA, MARTHA, the cows, the big cows, the brown cows, the black cows, the white cows, the black and white cows, the COWS, COWS, COWS, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, are in the corn, the CORN, CORN, CORN.’ Then, if I were to repeat the whole thing two or three times, well that would be a praise chorus.”
A young, new Christian went to his local church usually, but one weekend attended a small town church. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. “Well,” said the young man, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular songs.”
“Hymns,” said his wife, “What are those?”
“Oh, they’re okay. They’re sort of like regular songs, only different,” said the young man.
“Well, what’s the difference?” asked his wife.
The young man said, “Well it’s like this — If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn,’ well that would be a regular song.
If on the other hand, I were to say to you:
Oh Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by
To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals, who can explain
There in their heads is no shadow of sense,
Hearkenest they in God’s sun or his rain
Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.
Yea those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight,
Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of darkness and night
They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn have chewed.
So look to that bright shining day by and by,
Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry
And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn.
“Then if I were to do only verses one, three, and four and do a key change on the last verse, well that would be a hymn.”
Have a blessed and beautiful Tuesday, everyone!
Abu Simbel Festival -- Egypt (one of the two days a year when the light illuminates the statutes of Rameses, Ra and Amun in the temple complex)
Festival of the Perpendicular Sun/Illumination of the Inner Sanctum of Ramses II's Abu Simbel Temple -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar
Be Humble Day -- can't find the origin of this one, s/he wants to humbly remain anonymous
Call Somebody "Boo Boo" Day -- apparently just to see what s/he will call you back; be careful, this one started before anyone heard of Honey Boo Boo and doesn't take that into account
Cat Day -- Japan (an unofficial celebration of felines, because today's date in Japanese sounds almost like "nyan, nyan, nyan" ("meow, meow, meow")
Concordia/Caristia -- Ancient Roman Calendar, Festival of Goodwill
Feast of the Chair of St. Peter at Antioch -- Roman Catholic Church
Handing Back of Goblin Orphans Day -- Fairy Calendar (You know, the goblin orphans they adopted 2 days ago! No fairy can tolerate a goblin longer than that.)
Independence Day -- Santa Lucia(1979)
International World Thinking Day -- a/k/a "B.-P. day" or "Founder's Day" -- World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts
Girl Guides Day -- UK
National Margarita Day (How is that going to help with the thinking?)
Single-Tasking Day -- encouraging you to do one thing at a time, and not feel guilty; begun by Theresa Gabriel, who claims multitasking is inefficient and hurts your brain! she suggests it be on the 4th Tuesday of the month, although other sites list other dates
Spay Day USA -- sponsored by the HSUS; Sit! Stay! Spay! Good Owner!
St. Margaret of Cortona's Day (Patron of falsely accused people, hoboes, homeless people, mentally ill people, midwives, penitent women, people ridiculed for their piety, reformed prostitutes, single laywomen, teriaries, and tramps; against insanity, loss of parents, mental illness, sexual temptation, and temptation)
Walking the Dog Day -- Can't find the originator of this one, but walk your dog, or do your yoyo tricks, whichever works for you
Washington's Birthday -- US
World Spay Day -- don't let your pets litter!
Ed McMahon marries Pamela Hurn, 1992
Kurt Corbin marries Courtney Love, 1992
Bill Bixby marries Laura Michael, 1991
Pennsylvania State University is founded in State College, Pennsylvania, 1855
Washington University in St. Louis is founded, 1853
James Blunt, 1977
Drew Barrymore, 1975
Michael Chang, 1972
Lea Salonga, 1971
Clinton Kelly, 1969
Jeri Ryan, 1968
Vijay Singh, 1963
Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin, 1962
Kyle MacLachlan, 1959
Julie Walters, 1950
Julius "Dr. J" Erving, 1950
Dan Millman, 1946
Jonathan Demme, 1944
Sparky Anderson, 1934
Edward M. Kennedy, 1932
Paul Dooley, 1928
Robert Wadlow, 1918
John Mills, 1908
Sheldon Leonard, 1907
Robert Young, 1907
Luis Bunuel, 1900
Edna St. Vincent Millay, 1892
"Chico" Marx, 1891
Lady Olave Baden-Powell, 1889
Lord Robert Baden-Powell, 1857
James Russel Lowell, 1819
Frederic Chopin, 1810
Arthur Schopenhauer, 1788
George Washington, 1732
"It Happened One Night"(Film), 1934
"Lady Windermere's Fan"(Play), 1892
"Symphony No. 4 in F minor"(Tchaikovsky Op. 36), 1878
Today in History:
Jews are expelled from Zurich, Switzerland, 1349
Galileo's Dialogue Concerning the Two Chief World Systems is published, 1632
The English House of Lords rules that authors do not have perpetual copyright of their material, 1774
Jews are expelled from the outskirts of Warsaw, Poland, 1775
The first US ship to trade with China, the "Empress of China," sails from New York, 1784
The Last Invasion of Britain by the French begins near Fishguard, Wales, 1797
Spain signs the Adams-Onis Treaty, renouncing its claim to the Oregon territory and west Florida, 1819
Spain sells east Florida to the US, 1821
Edward Payson Weston, "The Father of Modern Pedestrianism," who gave lectures on the health benefits of walking, first comes into the public eye by leaving on this date to walk to Lincoln's inauguration, a distance of 478 miles, 1861*
Frank W. Woolworth opens the first US chain store, his "Woolworth's" 5 and 10 cent store, in Utica, NY, 1879
John Reid of Scotland establishes a 3 hole golf course near Yonkers, New York, thus introducing the game to the US, 1888
Hawaii becomes a US territory, 1900
Due to drought, the US side of Niagara Falls runs short of water, 1903
The Great White Fleet, the first US fleet to circumnavigate the globe, returns to Virginia, 1909
Calvin Coolidge gives the first US presidential radio address, 1924
Bert Hinkler successfully completes the first solo flight from England to Australia, 1928
Australian swimmer John Konrads sets 6 world records in two days, 1958
Lee Petty wins the first Daytona 500, 1959
Following United States President Richard Nixon's visit to the People's Republic of China, the two countries agree to establish liaison offices, 1973
In Lake Placid, New York, the United States hockey team defeats the Soviet Union hockey team 4-3, in what is considered to be one of the greatest upsets in sports history, 1980
In Roslin, Scotland, scientists announce that an adult sheep named Dolly had been successfully cloned, 1997
An earthquake measuring 6.3 in magnitude strikes Christchurch, New Zealand, killing 181 people, 2011
At age 34, Mario Matt of Austria becomes the oldest champion in Olympic alpine skiing history with the slalom gold medal at Sochi, 2014
10 million people are without water in Delhi after caste protests in Jat sabotage the Munak water canal, 2016
The discovery of 7 Earth-sized planets orbiting star Trappist-1 is announced in the Journal "Nature", 2017
The Journal “Science” publishes the evidence that Neanderthals were the first artists, creating cave paintings in Spain over 65,000 years ago, 2018
*Yes, he got there in 10 days, in time for the inaugural ball!