Sunday, February 2, 2014

Silly Sunday: Taxing Situation

Brother-in-Law, The Mouth, doesn't do his own taxes.  Like Sweetie, dealings with numbers in that way makes his head spin.

So i do his taxes.  It's not difficult.  When we used to paper file, we used the EZ form.  He's single, takes the standard deduction, and gets a refund from both Fed and state each year.

Turbo-Tax has gotten better since we started e-filing for him a few years back, and it now only takes me about 15-20 minutes of telling them nothing has changed and refusing the paid version, and he's finished.

Yesterday he came over for dinner, and as he always does as soon as he gets his W-2, he brought his information, and it was done in a shake of a lamb's tail.

Doing taxes reminds me of a joke, of course.

Boudreaux had been unable to sleep for a few weeks, ever since a sermon by Father Pierre.  So he wrote a letter to the IRS.

Dear IRS,

Father Pierre done tol' me about how de Lawd knows secret sins in Psalm 51:2-4, an' about how He don't like deceit in Psalm 52:3-4.

Since den, I can't sleep 'cause I know I done cheated on my taxes.

So I'm sendin' $150 to cover what I shoulda done sent before, an' if I still can't sleep, I'll send de rest.

Boudreaux




Today is:

Anniversary of Treaty of Tartu -- Estonia

Bonza Bottler Day™

Bramley Apple Week begins -- UK (celebrating these wonderfully delicious fruits)

British Yorkshire Pudding Day -- UK (celebrating this delicious traditional dish, and here's how to make it right)

Candlemas -- Christian -- or Presentation of Our Lord (f/k/a the Purification of the Virgin Mary) - commemorates the presentation of Jesus in the Temple and purification of Mary on the 40th day after the birth of Jesus. Candles have been blessed on this day since the 11th century, and this was the original forecaster, “If Candlemas is fair and clear, there’ll be two winters in the year.”
     Bank Holiday -- Liechtenstein
     Candelaria Festival -- Puno, Peru (Virgen de la Candelaria, through the 16th)
     Dia de la Candelaria/Virgin of Candelaria -- Mexico; Spain
     La Fete de la Chandeleur -- Canada; France
     Matka Boska Gromniczna (Mother of God of the Blessed Thunder Candle) -- Poland

Dump Your Significant Jerk Day -- beginning of Dump Your Significant Jerk Week; make a resolve and do it now, before Valentine's Day

Festival of Juno Februa -- Ancient Roman Calendar (Juno as goddess of motherly and matrimonial love)

Four Chaplains Sunday -- Interfaith

Groundhog Day/Hedgehog Day/Badger Day -- what animal you looked to in order to predict the weather depended on where you lived
     Hromnice -- Czech Republic (hrom = thunder, a weather forecasting day)

Igbi -- Shaitli and Kituri among the Avar ethnic group, Dagestan, Russia (midwinter celebration, through the 5th, which is the first day the sun is expected to return to shine on the towns here)

Imbolc/Sughnassad -- Pagan/Wiccan (Northern Hemisphere/Southern Hemisphere)
     Brigmid -- Druid Calendar, also called Feast of Imbolc, celebrated later as St. Bridget's Day, but originally a festival for Brigid, (also known as Brighid, Bríde, Brigit, Brìd) goddess of poetry, healing, and smithcraft.  It is always halfway between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox, so some years it is on Feb. 1 with St. Brigid's Day
     Disting/Charming of the Plough -- Asatru/Slavic Pagan (a feast of new beginnings and spring)
     Serpent Day -- Celtic (The tradition was that on this day, the Brigmid, snakes or badgers would come out of their winter dens and predict the weather; perhaps a precursor to North America's Groundhog Day.)
     Wives' Feast Day -- Northern England (ancient celebration in association with Imbolc)

Inventors' Day -- Thailand

Laura Ingalls Wilder Gingerbread Sociable -- Pomona, CA, US (Pomona Public Library has on permanent display many of her original manuscripts)

Le Jour des Crepes -- France (Crepes Day, as crepes are traditionally served on Candlemas; if you can flip the crepe pan and catch the crepe in it with your right hand, while holding a gold coin in your left, you will become rich this year!)

National Heavenly Hash Day

Presentation of Christ in the Temple -- Anglican Catholic Christian

Scout Sunday -- BSA (Boy Scouts are encouraged to wear their uniforms to church and represent scouting to their congregation)

Sled Dog Day -- anniversary of the arrival, in 1925, of diphtheria antitoxin in Nome, Alaska; in memory of the sled dogs, especially lead dogs Togo and Balto, who made it possible

St. Cornelius the Centurion's Day (the Cornelius converted by St. Paul in the Book of Acts)

Super Bowl Sunday; related observance
     National Popcorn Day

Veja Diena -- Ancient Latvian Calendar (day of wind, with rituals performed to assure no wind damage next summer)

Wand Dedication Day -- Fairy Calendar

World Wetlands Day -- UN (this year's theme is "Wetlands and Agriculture: Partners for Growthhttp://www.wildlifetrusts.org/index.php?section=environment:water:world%20wetlands%20day

Zaccheus Sunday -- Orthodox Churches


Anniversaries Today:

Marina Ogilvy (daughter of Princess Alexandra) weds Paull Mowatt, 1990
Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) marries Olivia Langdon in Elmira, NY, 1870


Birthdays Today:

Shakira, 1977
Michael T. Weiss, 1962
Christie Brinkley, 1954
Ina Garten, 1948
Farah Fawcett, 1947
Graham Nash, 1942
David Jason, 1940
Tom Smothers, 1937
Les Dawson, 1934
Stan Getz, 1927
Elaine Stritch, 1925
James Dickey, 1923
Liz Smith, 1923
Ayn Rand, 1905
George “Papa Bear” Halas, 1895
William Rose Benét, 1886
James Joyce, 1882
Solomom R. Guggenheim,1861
Toyotomi Hideyoshi,1536 (Japan's second "great unifier")


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"The Rich Little Show"(TV), 1975
"The Midnight Special"(TV), 1973
"And Miss Reardon Drinks a Little"(Play), 1971
"What's My Line?"(TV), 1950
"Le Dame aux Camelias"(Play, Dumas, fils), 1848
"Artaxerxes"(Opera, Thomas Arnes), 1762


Today in History:

Alaric II, eighth king of the Visigoths promulgates The Breviary of Alaric (Breviarium Alaricianum or Lex Romana Visigothorum) a collection of Roman law, 506
Pedro de Mendoza founds Buenos Aires, Argentina, 1536
New Amsterdam (later New York) is incorporated as a city, 1653
The first leopard is exhibited in the US, in Boston (admission 25 cents), 1802
Russian settlers establish the Ft. Ross trading post north of San Francisco, 1811
Jonathan Martin sets York Cathedral afire, does £60,000 damage, 1829
The first Chinese workers arrive in San Francisco, 1848
The first public men's toilet in Britain opens, on Fleet Street in London, 1852
Samuel Clemens uses the pen name Mark Twain for the first time, 1863
James Oliver invents the removable tempered steel plow blade, 1869
The SS Strathleven arrives in London with the first frozen mutton imported from Australia, 1880
The Knights of Columbus forms in New Haven, Connecticut, 1882
The first official Groundhog Day is observed in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, 1887
The bottle cap with cork seal is patented by William Painter of Baltimore, 1892
The longest boxing match under modern rules takes place in Nameoki, Illinois; 77 rounds between Harry Sharpe and Frank Crosby, 1892
The first movie close-up, of a man sneezing, is made at the Edison Studio in West Orange, NJ, 1893
The Australian Premiers' Conference held in Melbourne decides to locate Australia's capital, Canberra, between Sydney and Melbourne, 1899
Queen Victoria's funeral takes place, 1901
Musher Gunner Kaasan and his sled team, led by Balto, finish the serum run from Nenana to Nome, Alaska, delivering the much needed diphtheria medication (inspiration for the Iditarod), 1925
Leonarde Keeler tests the first polygraph machine, 1935
The Groundhog Day gale hits the north-eastern United States and south-eastern Canada, 1976
F.W. de Klerk allows the African National Congress to function legally and promises to release Nelson Mandela, 1990
Iran launches its first domestically made satellite, Omid, into orbit, 2009

10 comments:

  1. We have our taxes done. I am too afraid of making a mistake. We have had the same guy do it for many years. I loved the joke, and so did Bill.

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  2. The Mouth is single. Imagine that. It made me chuckle.

    Hubby does our taxes with Turbo Tax. Great program.

    Love the joke. Sounds like my brother.

    I've got the linky up. Don't know why I didn't do that before today.

    Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. ☺

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  3. Good 'ole Boudreaux! I love de way he tinks! :) Thanks Mimi! Excellent post! :)

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  4. Heheh! funny joke too :-)

    Have a taxtastic week ahead ;-)

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  5. I see an audit in his future...funny stuff!

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  6. our taxes will be done in March by our accountant I am afraid to get audit hope you don't funny joke

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  7. Love the joke, even though the IRS has been good to me...so far.

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  8. Fitting joke, as I try to ignore my pile of tax papers waiting to be done.

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  9. I envy people who find it easy to fill in tax forms. I always think it should be easy but somehow it never is.

    In fact, even finding the information to put in is not easy.

    Or maybe I am just really stupid about that stuff - ah yes, THAT'S the reason!

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