Sunday, February 16, 2014

Silly Sunday: Ballerina

Yesterday, i stopped back at the flower shop to drop off my final manifest (the paper that says what deliveries i'd made on my last run).  While there, i offered to help out.  They took me up on it, big time.

They needed items taken for funerals, and Valentine's Day items that hadn't gotten through, and then regular deliveries, too.  So i did four more runs, and Ryan told me to go home.

When i was almost home, he called back, very sheepish.  Could i come back and do one more run?  Sure i can.

It was an out of town run, on an order that had been messed up twice, and with a time limit on it to boot, two to the hospital, one to a restaurant so the flowers would be on the table when the lady got to the table, and one to the casino. 

It was the second time i'd been to the casino that day, and it was my last delivery, and i was tired.  Lots of running and stairs on this day.  So as i approached the doors, and no one was near to open it for me, i didn't stop.  Little five foot zero under a hundred pounds me, with this big vase of two dozen roses ran past a bunch of people and, without hesitation, i lifted my knee, hit the button to open the automatic door with said knee, and kept running.  There was a burst of laughter behind me, and i smiled along, enjoying the joke.  They can laugh at me doing that, i made the delivery, and got home at 5pm, just in time to cook dinner.

This reminds me of a joke (as you knew it would, right?)

Boudreaux was in the bar as usual on a Friday night, and also as usual, he was sitting at the corner and was very drunk.

At that moment, a very tall and rather burly woman walks into the bar, lifts her arm to show her hairy armpit, points at all the guys at the bar and says, "Which of you gentlemen is going to buy a lady a drink!"

The men looked at one another and Boudreaux yelled, "Give dat Ballerina a drink!"  The bartender did, and Boudreaux paid.

After she finished, she again lifted her arm, showing that she eschewed shaving, and pointed to the men there.  "Which of you gentlemen is going to buy a lady a drink?"

Again, Boudreaux called out, "Give dat Ballerina a drink!"  The bartender fixed her up, and Boudreaux paid, and she drank.

When she was done, she decided she wanted one for the road.  "Which of you gentlemen is going to buy a lady a drink?" she said, with her arm pointing at them again.

"Give dat Ballerina a drink!" Boudreaux called out.

As the bartender came over the Boudreaux to get the money for the drink he had poured her, he leaned over and said, "Boudreaux, I know it's your money, and you can do what you want and buy the lady her drinks, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"

Boudreaux answered, "Mais!  Any woman dat can kick her leg up dat high, she gots to be a Ballerina!"

Today is:

9-1-1 Day -- the first 911 call in North America was placed, demonstrating the new system, on this day in 1968

Bonten Matsuri -- Miyoshi-jinja Shrine, Akita, Japan (two day festival to ask for good crops this year)

Daytona 500 Pole Day -- Daytona International Speed-way, Daytona Beach, FL, US (qualifying, and earning the right to lead the pack)

Do a Grouch a Favor Day -- internet generated attempt to get us to either get the grouches on our side, or make us cynical

Independence Day -- Lithuania (National Day/Restoration of Statehood)(1918)

Kyoto Protocol Day -- International (treaty on climate change; today is proposed as "Wear purple for Kyoto Day")

National Almond Day

Respectable Tales of Kelp-Koli -- Fairy Calendar (5 minutes only)

Scout - Guide Week -- Canada (Scouts Canada and Girl Guides of Canada plan and hold special activities; through the 23rd)

St. Juliana of Cumae's Day (Patron of the ill)

St. Onesimus' Day (runaway slave of Philemon, converted by Paul, of whom the Letter to Philemon was written)

Triodion begins -- Orthdox Christian

Birthdays Today:

Christopher Eccleston, 1964
John McEnroe, 1959
Ice T, 1959
LeVar Burton, 1957
James Ingram, 1956
William Katt, 1951
Richard Ford, 1944
Barry Primus, 1938
Sonny Bono, 1935
Vera-Ellen, 1921
Patty Andrews, 1920
Jimmy Wakely, 1914
Hugh Beaumont, 1909
Richard McDonald, 1909
George Kennan, 1904
Edgar Bergan, 1903
Robert Joseph Flaherty, 1884
Johann Strauss, 1866
Nichiren, 1222
Emperor Yingzong of China, 1032

Debuting/Premiering Today:

"What's My Line"(TV Game Show), 1950
"Le Voyageur Sans Baggage"(Anouilh Play), 1937
"The Marquise"(Coward Play), 1927
"Chung Sai Yat Po"(Publication; first Chinese daily newspaper in US), 1900
"Werther"(Massenet Opera), 1892
"Ladies' Home Journal"(Publication), 1883
"Orpheus"(Liszt Opera), 1854
"Elegy Written in a Country Church Yard"(First Publication), 1751

Today in History:

9th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet, 374
Pope Gregory the Great issues a decree saying that "God bless you" is the correct response to a sneeze, 600
English king Charles I accepts Triennial Act, requiring the king to assemble Parliament at least once every 3 years, 1641
The first known check (cheque) is written, for 400 English Pounds Sterling (currently on display at Westminster Abbey), 1659
Kentucky passes a law permitting women to attend school under certain conditions, 1838*
Weenen Massacre: Hundreds of Voortrekkers along the Blaukraans River, Natal are killed by Zulus, 1838
American Charles Wilkes discovers Shackleton Ice Shelf, Antarctica, 1840
The Battle of Sobraon ends the First Sikh War in India, 1846
Studebaker Brothers wagon company, precursor of the automobile manufacturer, is established, 1852
The French Government passes a law to set the A-note above middle C to a frequency of 435 Hz, in an attempt to standardize the pitch, 1859
The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks forms, 1868
The "Ladies Home Journal" begins publishing, 1883
The first Chinese daily newspaper in the US, Chung Sai Yat Po, begins publication in San Francisco, 1900
The first US Esperanto Club organizes in Boston, 1905
The first synagogue in 425 years opens in Madrid, Spain, 1917
Howard Carter unseals the burial chamber of Pharaoh Tutankhamun, 1923
The first patent is issued for a tree, to James Markham for a peach tree, 1932
Wallace H. Carothers receives a United States patent for nylon, 1937
Canadians are granted Canadian citizenship after 80 years of being British subjects. Prime Minister William Lyon Mackenzie King becomes the first Canadian citizen, 1947
Britain abolishes the death penalty, 1956
Fidel Castro becomes Premier of Cuba after dictator Fulgencio Batista was overthrown on January 1, 1959
In Haleyville, Alabama, the first 9-1-1 emergency telephone system goes into service, 1968
The first computer bulletin board system is created (CBBS in Chicago, Illinois), 1978
The trial of John Demjanjuk, accused of being a Nazi guard dubbed "Ivan the Terrible" in Treblinka extermination camp, starts in Jerusalem, 1987
The Kyoto Protocol comes into force, following its ratification by Russia, 2005
The last Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (MASH) is decommissioned by the United States Army, 2006

*This is the same US state that still has a law on its books requiring every resident to take a bath at least  once a year, whether the person needs it or not!


TexWisGirl said...

oy!!! :)

good for you and your flower runs!

Tabor said...

Did NOT see that coming!

Sandee said...

Sounds like you had a very long day yesterday. You got it done though.

Bwahahahahahahaha, I loved the joke. Perception is a wonderful thing.

Have a fabulous Silly Sunday. :)

stevebethere said...

LMAO brilliant I just hope someone put him straight LOL

Have a ballettastic week ;-)

Slamdunk said...

I think you had the last laugh for a job well done. A gold star on your paper and thanks for the laugh.

Kathe W. said...

wowee you worked hard- and the ballerina joke is hilarious! I worked for several florists after I retired- no deliveries- just making arrangements to be delivered. There's something about that business that is so satisfying- usually everyone is happy to get beautiful flowers!