"Question. Do you have something large and heavy that I can throw at someone?" Little Girl asked.
Um, besides books, no, not really, i answered. Besides, why are you wanting to throw something heavy at someone? Think of the ER bill i'll have to pay if you do!
"But what about the trauma I've suffered from what te did to me? I need revenge to soothe my soul!" she laughed.
Revenge won't make you feel better, i said.
"Well, I want to try," she said, as her brother walked in.
"Want to try what?" #1 Son asked.
"To get revenge for a trauma caused to me. Do you have anything heavy I can throw at someone?"
"Well, Young Jacob left his pool table here, and we have the balls. You could probably throw those," he answered.
"That would work," she said, as they headed for the pool table. "It was Young Jacob who caused me trauma by farting next to me on purpose!"
This reminds me of a joke.
Boudreaux was heading into the pool hall when a homeless man asked him for a couple of dollars so he could buy something to eat.
"Mais, I don' know if I should give you no money!" Boudreaux said. "You prob'ly gonna go get booze, or drugs, or gamble on a pool game wit' dat money!"
"Oh, no," the homeless man said. "I gave up booze and drugs many years ago, and I don't bet on pool or play now. I have to use everything i get just for food and to survive!"
"Oh, den in dat, case, you gonna come home wit' me, and my Clothile gonna feed you a great big home cooked meal!" Boudreaux said.
"Sir, you don't want to take me to your house!" the homeless man responded. "After all, I haven't showered or shaved in a while, and I know I look awful and don't smell very nice."
"Oui, you goin' come back wit' me. Clothile been arguin' wit' me about all de time I spen' out wit' de guys, an' I want her to see what a man look like when he give up drinkin', gamblin', an' playin' pool!"
Note: Little Girl got her revenge on Young Jacob -- she tickled him into an apology before she would let him make his next shot at the table!
Charro Days Fiesta -- Brownsville, TX, US (international cooperation, Brownsville and its sister city Matamoros, Mexico, put on a beautiful celebration of the charro horsemen of Mexico, as well as dances, parades, and a carnival; through Mar. 2)
Curling Is Cool Day -- embrace the Olympic sport the whole family can play; sponsored by Wellcat Holidays
Daytona 500 Race -- Daytona International Speed-way, Daytona Beach, FL, US
Defenders of the Motherland Day (formerly Red Army Day) -- Russia and some former Soviet Republics
Homeland Defenders' Day -- Kyrguzstan
Motherland Defenders' Day -- Transdniestria
Diesel Engine Day -- Rudolph Diesel received his patent in Germany on this day in 1893
Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day -- while i can't figure out who started this one, even Mr. Google says it's celebrated today
Easy Divorce Day -- marking the passage, in 1915, of the Nevada law granting easy divorces after only a 6 month residency, the first such in the US
Goa Month begins -- Traditional Icelandic Calendar (month of the goddess Goa, personified as the daughter of Old Man Winter; as last month greeted her father well, greet her kindly, too, for an easy weather month)
Konudagur -- Housewife's Day (just as the first day last month honored husbands, this month the wife is greeted with either coffee or flowers)
International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day -- internet generated
Iwo Jima Day -- commemoration of the US flag raising
Meatfare Sunday -- Orthodox Christian (final day on which meat may be consumed before the Lenten fast)
Mystic Krewe of Barkus Parade -- NOLA, US (The French Quarter goes to the dogs, and some cats as well, all to benefit animal nonprofits)
National Banana Bread Day
National Day -- Brunei
Pebbles Day -- Pebbles Flintstone was born this day around 10,000BC
Republic Day (Mashramani) -- Guyana
St. Milburga of Shropshire's Day (Patron of birds)
St. Polycarp of Smyrna's Day (Patron against dysentery and earache)
St. Serenus the Gardener's Day (Patron of bachelors, falsely accused people)
Terminalia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (festival for Terminus, god of land boundary markers)
Tokyo Marathon 2014 -- Tokyo, Japan
Emily Blunt, 1983
Niecy Nash, 1970
Michael Dell, 1965
"Bobby" Bonilla, 1963
Howard Jones, 1955
Patricia Richardson, 1951
"Too Tall" Jones, 1951
John Sanford, 1944
Johnny Winter, 1944
Peter Fonda, 1939
Sylvia Chase, 1938
Donna J. Stone, 1933
Paul Tibbets, 1915
William L. Shirer, 1904
Victor Fleming, 1889
W.E.B. DuBois, 1868
Emma Hart Willard, 1787
George Frederic Handel, 1685
Tokugawa Tsunayoshi, 1646
Samuel Pepys, 1633
"Fortune and Men's Eyes"(Play), 1967
"Pinocchio"(Disney Cartoon), 1940
Today in History:
Emperor Diocletian orders the general persecution of Christians, 303
Traditional date for the publication of the Gutenberg Bible, the first Western book printed with movable type, 1455
France begins its fifth "holy war" against the Huguenots, 1574
Baron von Steuben arrives at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania to help to train the Continental Army, 1778
The first US raw-cotton-to-cloth mill is founded, in Waltham, Massachusetts, 1813
The first US pharmaceutical college is organized, the College of Apothecaries in Philidelphia, 1821
Santa Anna begins his siege of the Alamo, 1836
John Newman leaves the Anglican Church and is welcomed into the Roman Catholic Church, 1846
In Mexico, American troops under General Zachary Taylor defeat Mexican General Antonio López de Santa Anna, 1847
Great Britain formally recognises the independence of the Boers in the area between the Orange and Vaal rivers, signing the Bloemfontein Convention with the Orange Free State, 1854
The London Times publishes the world's first classified ad, 1886
Charles Martin Hall, assisted by his sister Julia Brainerd Hall, produced the first samples of man-made aluminum, 1886
The French/Italian Riviera is struck by an earthquake that leaves 2,000 dead, 1887
The Tootsie Roll is introduced by Leo Hirshfield, 1896
In France, Emile Zola is imprisoned for writing his "J'accuse" letter accusing the government of anti-Semitism and wrongly jailing Alfred Dreyfus, 1898
The Cuban state of Guantanamo is leased to the US, 1903
The US acquires control of the Panama Canal Zone for $10 million, 1904
The Rotary Club International is founded in Chicago, 1905
Russian Tsar Nicholas II dissolves the Diet of Finland, 1909
The US state of Nevada enacts a convenient divorce law, 1915
The February Revolution begins in Russia, 1917
Plutonium is first produced and isolated by Dr. Glenn T. Seaborg, 1941
The International Organization for Standardization (ISO) is founded, 1847
The first mass inoculation with the Salk vaccine begins in Pittsburgh, 1954
First meeting of the Southeast Asia Treaty Organization (SEATO), 1955
The United States Environmental Protection Agency announces its intent to buy out and evacuate the dioxin-contaminated community of Times Beach, Missouri, 1983
Supernova 1987a is seen in the Large Magellanic Cloud, 1987
A small fire occurs in the Russian Space station, Mir, 1997
An avalanche destroys the Austrian village of Galtür, killing 31, 1999
Unknown criminals pour more than 2.5 million liters of diesel oil and other hydrocarbons into the river Lambro, in Northern Italy, causing an environmental disaster, 2010
Ms. Cranky McCranky Pants Talks About Stuff
1 hour ago