Saturday, February 11, 2012

Dear Pam

Dear Pam,

As someone who has known you since you were a tiny tot, i want to take this opportunity to send you best wishes upon your engagement.

Also, i want to ask you, in the nicest way i can, if you have lost your ever-loving mind.

Not about the gentleman you wish to marry. He's fine.

It's your decision not to set a date for a wedding until your parents can afford to pay for it.

Your parents have 8 kids, and you are the second oldest. They still have 4 at home full time, and two who come home from college regularly. The youngest is only 9, so they have many more years with kids in the house to get through.

They are and always have worked hard, and yet still barely kept their heads above water.

You do remember that they had to declare bankruptcy after your dad lost his job, don't you?

They are always scraping to get by, and you want to wait for them to save up and pay for your wedding?

Hope you are prepared for a wait of several years.

Yes, i know it's your wedding we are talking about. Yes, i know you want the fairy-tale-dream-come-true-wedding so many little girls grow up imagining.

In this case, dream on. Your parents can't afford it, and will end up back in hot water with creditors if they try.

You need to face that yours might by a small, not quite dream wedding, and that it's okay.

You can plan a 25th wedding anniversary to end all anniversaries, and make it as over the top as you want.

Think about it. Have a small wedding that you and your fiance save up and pay cash for. After that, you and your then husband can save and manage your money wisely and give yourselves the dream party you always wanted.

It makes much more sense than waiting around who knows how long for your parents to try to come up with thousands of dollars they will never have to spare.

At least consider it, honey. You and he don't want to grow old waiting.


Today is:

Armed Forces Day -- Liberia

Be Electrific Day -- Edison's birthday

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day -- no history on the origin, but remember we all mess up once in a while, don't take small mess ups too seriously

Evelio Javier Memorial Day -- Panay Island, the Philippines

Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes/World Day of the Sick -- Roman Catholic Church

Grandmother Achievement Day -- internet generated; call your grandmother, or someone's grandmother you admire, and tell her what she is doing right

Independence Day -- Vatican City (a/k/a Lateranensi Pact Day, for the pact that established it as an independent state)

Kenkoku Kenen-no-hi -- Japan (also called National Foundation Day or Empire Day)

Meringue Memorial Day -- don't know who came up with it, but it's the day to see if you remember how to make meringue

National Inventors' Day -- US (Edison's birthday)

National Peppermint Patty Day

National Shut-In Visitation Day -- go visit someone who can't get out of the house today, or make plans to see them this weekend

Nelson Mandela Day -- South Africa (celebrates his release from prison)

Pro Sports Wives Day -- the annual recognition of those who truly are sports widows

Satisfied Staying Single Day -- for those who aren't desperate to have someone by the 14th; sponsored by Wellcat Holidays

Scout Sabbath -- BSA (Boy Scouts are encouraged to wear their uniforms to Synagogue services to represent scouting to their congregations)

St. Caedmon's Day (Oldest English poet known by name.)

White Shirt Day -- a recognition of the dignity of the working class

Youth Day -- Cameroon

Anniversaries Today:

The founding of London University, 1826

Birthdays Today:

Kelly Rowland, 1981
Matt Lawrence, 1980
Brandy, 1979
Mike Shinoda, 1977
Jennifer Aniston, 1969
Sarah Palin, 1964
Sheryl Crow, 1963
Sergio Mendes, 1941
Bobby "Boris" Pickett, 1938
Burt Reynolds, 1936
Tina Louise, 1934
Leslie Nielsen, 1926
Eva Gabor, 1921
Sidney Sheldon, 1917
Max Baer, 1909
Thomas Alva Edison, 1847

Today in History:

Traditional date for the founding of the Japanese empire under Emperor Jimmu, BC660
Tiberius Claudius Caesar Britannicus, heir to the Roman Emperorship, dies under mysterious circumstances in Rome, which clears the way for Nero to become Emperor, 55
Henry VIII of England is recognized as supreme head of the Church of England, 1531
The Pennsylvania Hospital opens, the first in the US, 1752
Religious Society of Friends, also known as Quakers, petitions U.S. Congress for abolition of slavery, 1790
Anthracite coal is burned experimentally as fuel for heating a home for the first time, by Jesse Fell in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, 1808
Robert Fulton files a patent for improvements to steamboat navigation, 1809
Massachusetts Governor Elbridge Gerry signs a redistricting bill that leads to the first use of the term "gerrymander," 1812
The first public toilet facilities for women opens in London, on Bedford Street, 1852
The Meiji constitution of Japan is adopted, 1889
Emma Goldman is arrested for lecturing on birth control, 1916
BBC Television produces the world's first ever science fiction television program, an adaptation of a section of the Karel Capek play R.U.R., which coined the term "robot", 1938
Glenn Miller is awarded the first ever gold disc for selling one million copies of "Chattanooga Choo Choo," 1941
Eighty-seven countries, including the US, UK, and USSR, sign the Seabed Treaty outlawing nuclear weapons in international waters, 1971
The People's Republic of China lifts a ban on works by Aristotle, Shakespeare and Dickens, 1978
Nelson Mandela, a political prisoner for 27 years, is released from Victor Verster Prison outside Cape Town, South Africa, 1990
The first wave of the Egyptian revolution culminates in the resignation of Hosni Mubarak, 2011


  1. I have no idea who this Mimi is but the advice she's giving you is spot on. If this is the right guy, then what else really matters? Go for it and marry in a manner you can afford. I've been to lots of weddings and the big expensive ones are usually the worst.

  2. Stephen, you are correct. Just look at those Kardashian people.

  3. Oh, my. Our wedding? The family and friends all wanted to help, so we asked if people wanted to do stuff for the wedding instead of gifts, since we both had been "out and on our own" and had house 'stuff' already. Mom and Dad did get me the dress, but most of the decorations, flowers, etc, were 'donated' by friends, and we can look at our wedding pictures, and say, gee, X did that, oh, do you remember how happy Y was about doing the bows for the pews, etc.

    Plan to enjoy each other, and friends. If you focus all on the wedding, I suspect you've missed the point entirely...

    2 cents worth,

  4. I really liked the way the young couple at the Young House Love blog handled their wedding. Very low budget, but charming and romantic

  5. Thanks, Cat and Merry. My points entirely, and i'll make sure she knows about that site.

  6. The wedding is ONE day. The marriage is (hopefully) forever. On which would you like to focus? MM offers wise advice. I hope you'll be reading.