Pumping Iron

"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." ~ Erma Bombeck

Well, i must say i agree with Erma.

That must be why G-d, in His sense of humor, put me with a man who owns over 60 items of clothing to wear to work, all of which have to be ironed after each washing. And washed after each wearing, too, even if the item was only worn for an hour at a special event.

Yes, i know that in previous generations ironing was not just required, it was considered part of how you earned status among your peers. L.M. Montgomery has a line in one of her books about Anne of Green Gables in which one lady disparages another with the words, "She irons her tablecloths right side first and only, not at all like her sainted mother." That's it, sainthood means ironing "correctly." Sure, it does.

But by 1958, when Peg Bracken wrote The I Hate To Housekeep Book, she was telling women it was okay to not iron pajamas and pillowcases and sheets and hubby's handkerchiefs. You would think, by now, they wouldn't even sell the doggone things.

Alas, they do, and alas, i have to use one. Daily. How a person with only one body can wear so much clothing that i have to iron at least 4 items a day to keep up i do not understand. Yet here i stand, facing the ironing pile again, wondering what i have done to deserve such.

Is this my purgatory for a former life in which i offended a community by not ironing all seven layers of my petticoats?

Or am i just lucky?

It could be worse, though. He could ask me to iron his 42 t-shirts, too.

Can anyone say clothes horse?


Today is:

Clean Monday -- Orthodox Christian (Great Lent Begins)

Equirria -- Ancient Roman Calendar (Cavalry Horse Festival)

Feast of St. Gabriel Possenti (Patron of college students)

Independence Day -- Dominican Republic

Majuba Day -- South Africa (celebration of the Boers victory at Majuba Hill)

National Kahlua Day

No Brainer Day - this day is for me! created by Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith, "America's Premier Eventologist"

Polar Bear Day -- as declared by Polar Bears International

Read Five Pages in the Dictionary Day -- internet generated, and am i the only one who likes the idea?

Read Me Week -- sponsored by Reading Is Fundamental

Runic Half Month Tyr commences (cosmic pillar)

Spay Day USA -- sponsored by the HSUS

St. Galmier of Lyon's Day (Patron of blacksmiths and locksmiths)

The Hop -- Fairy Calendar

Threepenny Day -- Eton College, England (By the last will of two Provosts in the 16th century, each boy recieves a threepenny piece on this day -- enough to buy half a sheep back then.)



Birthdays Today:

Josh Groban, 1981
Chelsea Clinton, 1980
Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas, 1971
Mary Fran, 1943
Howard Hesseman, 1940
Ralph Nadar, 1934
Elizabeth Taylor, 1932
Joanne Woodward, 1930
Ariel Sharon, 1928
John Connally, 1917
John Steinbeck, 1902
Marian Anderson, 1897
David Sarnoff, 1891
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1807
Constantine I, 272


Today in History:

The first Russian Embassy arrives in London, 1557
The Treaty of Berwick, which would expel the French from Scotland, is signed by England and the Congregation of Scotland, 1560
Yuan Chonghuan is appointed Governor of Liaodong, after he led the Chinese into a great victory against the Manchurians under Nurhaci, 1626
Jews are expelled from Austria by order of Leopold I, 1670
The Pacific island of New Britain is discovered, 1700
Poet Lord Byron gives his first address as a member of the House of Lords, in defense of Luddite violence against Industrialism in his home county of Nottinghamshire, 1812
The Dominican Republic gains independence from Haiti, 1844
Composer Robert Schumann is saved from a suicide attempt in Rhine, 1854
Russians shoot at Poles protesting Russian rule of Poland, 1861
The current flag of Japan is first adopted as the national flag for Japanese merchant ships, 1870
Charlotte E. Ray becomes the first African American woman to earn a law degree, from Howard University, 1872
Lord Kitchener opens Khartoum-El Obeid (Nyala) railway, 1912
Martin Kamen and Sam Ruben discover carbon-14, 1940
The government of Italy asks for help to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from toppling over, 1964
The American Indian Movement occupies Wounded Knee, South Dakota, 1973
People magazine is published for the first time, 1974
U.S. President George H. W. Bush announces that "Kuwait is liberated", 1991
A Muslim mob kills 59 Hindu pilgrims returning from Ayodhya, 2002
The Shanghai Stock Exchange falls 9%, the largest drop in 10 years, 2007
Central Chile is hit with an 8.8 magnitude earthquake, 2010