...to say farewell to Phyllis Diller.
Her housecleaning quotes were my favorites:
"Housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes, and then 6 months later you have to do it over again "
"Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?"
"If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies."
"Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out."
"My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor."
"I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing."
"I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard."
"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it
"If your children write their names in the dust on the furniture, don't let them put the year."
"Keep at least one window pane clean to check the weather. Once when I didn't do this I sent the kids off with umbrellas for six weeks straight."
"No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they're early, so naturally you're not ready."
My favorite, which i could not find in its entirety online is the one where she said something akin to: if someone comes over to your home in the afternoon, and you are still in your house coat, keep a couple of get well cards handy and put them on the mantle and tell them "Sorry I'm not dressed, but as you can see, I've been sick!"
Rest in peace, Ms. Diller.
Aquino Day -- Philippines
Buhe -- Ethiopian Orthodox Church (Christian remembrance of the Transfiguration.)
Cadillac Day -- the first Caddy was built this day in 1902
Consualia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (festival of Consus, god of grain and silos)
Crazy Day -- go crazy, in honor of Patsy Cline recording Willie Nelson's song Crazy on this date in 1961
Fete de la Jeunesse -- Morocco; Western Sahara (Birthday of HM Mohammed VI)
Gospel Day -- Kosrae, Micronesia
National Pecan Torte Day
National Senior Citizen's Day
St. Pius X's Day (Patron of first communicants, pilgrims; Des Moines, Iowa, US; Great Falls-Billings, Montana, US; Kottoyam, India; Santa Lucija, Malta; Springfield-Cape Girardeau, MO, US; Zamboanga, Philippines)
Youth Day/King Mohammed VI's Birthday -- Morocco
Seminole Tribe of Native Americans is legally established and recognized, 1957
Hawai'i becomes the 50th US state, 1959
Ozma, Queen of Oz, year unconfirmed
Jackie DeShannon, 1944
Clarence Williams III, 1939
Kenny Rogers, 1938
Wilt Chamberlain, 1936
Shimon Peres, 1923
Friz Freleng, 1906
Count Basie, 1904
William Murdoch, 1754
Francis de Sales, 1567
Today in History
Minamoto Yoritomo becomes Seii Tai Shogun and therefore de facto ruler of Japan, 1192
Pueblo Indians capture Santa Fe from Spanish during the Pueblo Revolt, 1680
James Cook formally claims eastern Australia for Great Britain, naming it New South Wales, 1770
The Nat Turner slave revolt in Virginia leaves 55 dead, 1831
Mighty Casey (Dan Casey) is struck out! In a game against the N.Y. Giants, 1887
William S Burroghs patents the adding machine, 1888
Oldsmobile is incorporated as a division of General Motors Corp., 1897
Arthur Rose Eldred becomes the first Boy Scout to earn the rank of Eagle Scout, 1912
Physicist Harry K. Daghlian, Jr. is fatally irradiated in a criticality incident during an experiment with the Demon core at Los Alamos National Laboratory, 1945
James Anderson, Jr., posthumously receives the first Medal of Honor to be awarded to an African American U.S. Marine, 1968
Philippine opposition leader Benigno Aquino, Jr. is assassinated at the Manila International Airport, 1983
Carbon dioxide gas erupts from volcanic Lake Nyos in Cameroon, killing up to 1,800 people within a 20-kilometer range, 1986
Coup attempt against Mikhail Gorbachev collapses, 1991
The Red Cross announces the famine in Tajikistan and calls for international aid there and in Uzbekistan, 2001
Hurricane Dean becomes the first storm to make landfall as a Catagory 5 since Hurricane Andrew, 2007
Early Awww Monday July 22, 2018
17 minutes ago