Saturday, November 23, 2013

Closer to Home

Since i recently recounted conversations i've overheard, i thought i'd also recount he following recent conversations in which i or my family have participated.

Grandma and Grandpa, laughing at each other and us laughing at them the whole time, were heard to say:

Grandma:  Are you ready?  Get over here!

Grandpa:  What are you yelling at me for?  (Looking over at us)  Do you kids hear this?  She's always yelling at me!  She doesn't like me.

Grandma: Of course I don't like you!  Do I have to tell you Happy Birthday tomorrow?

Grandpa:  No, because you'll just yell it at me!

Grandma, talking about great grandma:

She was so funny!  She would eat entire loaves of bread by herself.  And pass gas all the time.  She would just be walking along and passing gas, it was hysterical!  It was like she never even noticed.

#2 Son and me (with him grinning the whole time):

#2 Son:  Hey, mom, you don't have to come pick Little Girl up from school today!  I went in and checked her out early!  I just told them I was her brother, showed them my ID, and said it was Grandpa's birthday and I needed to get her and they let her go!

me:  You did what!

#2 Son:  I checked her out of school early.  No need to thank me!

me:  Be glad if i don't kill you!  You aren't supposed to do that, they aren't supposed to give her to anyone under 18 or who isn't on the list!  Besides, she had a test and projects due!

#2 Son:  She was done with all that.  You're welcome.

Little Girl and me:

me:  Who broke this glass?  It's all in the grass!

Little Girl:  Oh, Festus.  We told him he could.  We thought the thing had a back to it!  The cabinet used to have a back to it!

me:  Well, it didn't have a back, it's now in the grass!  Do you realize what that means?  Those pieces of glass will become missiles the next time the grass is mowed, this is dangerous!

Little Girl:  Yeah, well, that glass was hard to break. It took him a long time to do it, but he had fun.  Anyway, we'll pick it up.

me:  What is it with him having to break stuff?

Little Girl:  No one knows.  He loves to build computers and break stuff.  It's just him.

me:  Valedictorian or not, there's something the matter with that boy!

Festus and me:

me (leaning my head out of the window after hearing the unmistakable voice of Festus and the sound of something being destroyed):  Festus, what are you breaking at my house now?

Festus:  This old grill that broke most of the way two years ago.

me (after a moment to digest that fact, and knowing we have a newer, better one anyway):  Well, please throw it away when you are finished with it.

Festus:  Yes, Ma'am!

Little Girl and me:

me (after stepping back and tripping over Little Girl's steel-toed boots):  Oh, i'm sorry!

Little Girl:  No, it's okay, I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have been standing right behind you while you were trying to get something out of the car.  It's my big ol' boots, too.  But I love them.  They are very convenient, especially when you have to kick someone.  You have no idea how good it feels to know you have steel-toes when someone is really asking for a good kick!

me:  You better not be kicking anyone.

Little Girl (with a grin):  Well, only once, and he was asking for it, poking me over and over, and i didn't kick hard enough to hurt him, and he didn't poke me that hard, either.  We were just teasing each other, me and Tyrell, and we ended up laughing about it.  It's just that, knowing you have steel-toes makes you feel much better when somebody is really asking for it!  Not that I'd use them unless I was in fear of my life, but knowing they are there is nice.

Today is:

Can You Find Your Old Rubik's Cube and Still Work It Day -- internet generated, and why would you bother?

Color Photos Day -- anniversary of the Kodak introduction of modern color film in 1935

Eat A Cranberry Day -- just to see why you add sugar, i guess

Feast of Qawl(Speech) -- Baha'i

Fibonacci Day -- celebrating the mathematical Fibonacci Series, which begins as 1,1,2,3

Giorgoba -- Georgia (St. George's Day; they celebrate their patron saint twice a year, today and May 6, his feast day on the OS calendar)

Hadakambo Festival -- Hofu, Japan (men dressed only in loincloths brave the cold carrying floats to the shrine)

Holidays in the City Grand Illumination Parade -- Norfolk, VA, US (to kick off Thanksgiving and the upcoming holidays)

Holodomor Remembrance Day -- international commemoration of the Death By Hunger Genocide in Ukraine

International Aura Awareness Day -- to increase the awareness of the human energy body, or aura

Jukebox Day -- many days compete for this title, but the first known nickel-in-the-slot record machine went into service on this day in 1889 in San Francisco, CA, US

Kinro Kansha no Hi -- Japan (Labour Day Thanksgiving, when people express gratitude to each other for their work through the year)

La Posada de Kingsville: a Celebration of Lights --  Kingsville, TX, US (many holiday events from now until Dec. 31, focusing on the joy and spirit of the season)

Natchitoches Festival of Lights -- Natchitoches, LA, US (over 350,000 lights go on every night from now until Jan, 6, with carolers on Friday and Saturday evenings downtown, festivals and events every weekend; come celebrate the season in the Oldest Settlement in the Louisiana Purchase)

National Adoption Day -- US (encouraging us to find a home for every child; many courts finalize thousands of adoptions of children from foster care on this day each year)

National Cashew Day -- some sites list it on the 22nd, i'm celebrating both as i love cashews

National Espresso Day

National Family Volunteer Day -- Points of Light started this, and now several groups work together to provide volunteer opportunities for families; here and here for information  

National Survivors of Suicide Day -- US (remembering those who have lost loved ones to suicide, especially as Thanksgiving and the holidays are coming)

Nordic Yulefest -- Nordic Museum, Seattle, WA, US (a Scandinavian holiday extravaganza; through tomorrow)

Pencil Sharpener Day -- John Love of Massachusetts patented the first one this day in 1897

Ranch Hand Breakfast -- King Ranch, Kingsville, TX, US (a real ranch hand meal, cooked and served outdoors, on a working cattle ranch where you can watch cowboys round up longhorns)
     part of La Posada de Kingsville, with special holiday celebrations through December

Repudiation Day -- Maryland, US (anniversary of the Franklin County Court refusal to cooperate with Britain's Stamp Tax Act)

Rudolf Maister Day -- Slovenia

St. Clement's Day (Patron of boatmen/mariners/sailors/watermen, marble workers/stonecutters, sick children; Dundee, Scotland; Velletri, Italy)

St. Columbanus's Day (Patron of motorcyclists; Bobbio, Italy; against floods)

St. Felicity's Day (Patron of martyrs, widows; against the death of children, sterility)

World's Champion Duck-Calling Contest and Festival -- Stuttgart, AR, US (pageants for Queen Mallard and Junior Queen Mallard, carnival, and the best duck calling possible; through Nov. 30)

Birthdays Today:

Miley Cyrus, 1992
Salli Richardson, 1967
Bruce Hornsby, 1954
Johnny Mandel, 1925
Harpo Marx, 1888
Boris Karloff, 1887
Billy the Kidd (William H. Bonney), 1859
Franklin Pierce, 1804

Debuting/Premiering Today:

Dr. Who, 1963
Life Magazine, 1936
First play-by-play American style football game radio broadcast, 1919 (Texas A&M beat University of Texas, 7-0)

Today in History:

Thespis of Icaria becomes the first actor to portray a character onstage, BC534
Charlemagne arrives at Rome to investigate the alleged crimes of Pope Leo III, 800
Conquest of Seville by the Christian troops under King Ferdinand III of Castile. 1248
Areopagitica, a pamphlet decrying censorship, and written by John Milton is published, 1644
People of Frederick County Md refuse to pay England's Stamp tax, 1765
Henry Burden patents Horseshoe manufacturing machine, 1835
Patent granted for a process of making color photographs, 1863
The first jukebox goes into operation at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco, 1889
King William III of the Netherlands dies without a male heir and a special law is passed to allow his daughter Princess Wilhelmina to become his heir, 1890
Andrew J Beard invents "jerry coupler," to connect railroad cars, 1897
Pencil sharpener patented by J L Love, 1897
Enrico Caruso makes his US debut at the Metropolitan Opera House, NY in "Rigoletto", 1903
Wright Brothers forms million dollar corporation to manufacture airplanes, 1909
Life Magazine publishes its first issue, 1936
The Cocos Islands are transferred from the control of the United Kingdom to Australia, 1955
The BBC broadcasts the first ever episode of Doctor Who (starring William Hartnell) which is the world's longest running science fiction drama, 1963
Representatives of the People's Republic of China attend the United Nations, including the United Nations Security Council, for the first time, 1971
A series of earthquakes in southern Italy kills approximately 4,800 people, 1980
The first all woman expedition to the south pole (3 Americans, 1 Japanese and 12 Russians), sets off from Antarctica on the 1st leg of a 70 day, 1287 kilometre ski trek, 1990
Convention on Cybercrime is signed in Budapest, Hungary, 2001
Ellen Johnson Sirleaf is elected president of Liberia and becomes the first woman to lead an African country, 2005


  1. How funny! I need to write down some of the conversations overhead at Thanksgiving with my family...nah, better not, you might not believe it!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you!

  2. Okay, not only do I love your kids, I love your entire family. Never a dull moment.

    Have a fabulous day. :)

  3. I'm not going to bother looking for the Rubics cube- I am laughing too hard at Festus! Cheers honey!
    ps best overheard conversation:
    Mother to child : "If I have told you once I have told you a million times...don't exaggerate!"

  4. Hilarious conversations! I too had a grandmother who passed gas and walked at the same time. Stinky AND funny, but of course also loveable. :)

    National Cashew Day! Yay! :D

  5. Yes, there's something wrong with him, and start with the name---Festus?

  6. Too funny, and I love your family stories!

    Also, "Cat-Napping Convention -- Fairy Calendar" --who knew?


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