Little Girl walked downstairs while getting ready for school, and was laughing. She's usually rather quiet in the mornings, since she's not a morning person at all (i'm the only morning person in the house).
What's so funny? i asked.
"Well, yesterday, my friend Luke was playing with my phone during our lunch break at school. He thinks flip phones are so cute, so he was playing with it, and he put his number in. I told him if he did that, that I would send him terrible jokes in the middle of the night, and he didn't believe me. So last night, when I woke up to go to the bathroom, I sent him a text that said, 'How does Moses make his tea? He-brews it!' and he just texted me back and says 'Stop! You're killing me! I have to wake up to this!'"
Good one, i told her.
"That was funny," Bigger Girl said. "Hey, mom, I'm going to go to the school early this morning to get my math lab stuff done, but I'll be back in a jiffy and I'll scoop the litter boxes then."
"How long is a jiffy?" Little Girl asked.
"Just a bit longer than three shakes of a lamb's tail!" Bigger Girl answered on her way out.
"Ha, ha," Little Girl said, heading back upstairs to grab her P.E. clothes.
When she came back down, i asked, isn't Luke the friend who has missed a lot of school because he's got a chronic illness?
"Well, sort of a chronic illness. Actually, he's had to have a lot of surgeries because of some birth defects. They weren't sure when he was born if he was a boy or a girl, and he's had to have a lot of stuff done to correct all the problems, and a lot of the other kids won't hang with him, but I think he's cool. Anyway, if he thinks that joke was bad, wait until I tell him the rest of my jokes. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless! When is a fin not a fin? When it's a dol-phin! What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?"
Church! i answered. That one i know, you've told me before.
"Yes, and everyone I tell it to laughs."
With that, we laughed our way out of the door for school, as being late isn't a laughing matter.
Children's Day -- India
Day of the Colombian Woman -- Colombia
Equorum Probatio -- Ancient Roman Empire (official cavalry parade of the equites)
International Girls Day -- for info, see confidencecoalition.org
Leftover Trading Day -- internet generated; trade your leftovers for the much more interesting ones in your neighbor's fridge
Loosen up, Lighten Up Day -- to remind us of the benefits of joy and laughter, begun by Stephanie West Allen of Denver, CO, US
National Spicy Guacamole Day -- as opposed to National Guacamole Day back in September
National Pickle Day/Pickle Appreciation Day
Nativity Fast begins a/k/a Winter Lent (through Dec 24) -- Orthodox Christian
Operating Room Nurse Day -- US, but feel free to celebrate those dedicated nurses around the world
Readjustment Movement's Day -- Guinea-Bissau
Spirit of NSA Day -- members of the National Speakers Association are encouraged to focus on giving back and mentoringhttp://nsaspeaker.org/
St. Dubricus' Day (the saint who crowned King Arthur)
St. Lawrence O'Toole's Day (Patron of the Archdiocese of Dublin, Ireland)
Works Getting Into Championships -- Fairy Calendar (Gremlins)
World Diabetes Day -- UN
Princess Anne of the UK marries Captain Mark Phillips, 1973
D.B. Sweeney, 1961
Condoleezza Rice, 1954
Prince Charles, 1948
King Hussein of Jordan, 1935
McLean Stevenson, 1929
Brian Keith, 1921
Veronica Lake, 1919
Barbara Hutton, 1912
Rosemary DeCamp, 1910
Joseph McCarthy, 1909
Dick Powell, 1904
Aaron Copland, 1900
Mamie Dowd Eisenhower, 1896
Jawaharlal Nehru, 1889
Claude Monet, 1840
Robert Fulton, 1765
Murphy Brown, 1988
Today in History:
Conquistadors from Spain under the leadership of Francisco Pizarro arrive in Cajamarca, Inca empire, 1533
Samuel Pepys reports on the first blood transfusion (between dogs), 1666
Loius Timothee is hired in Philadelphia to be the first professional librarian in the US, 1732
Captain George Vancouver is the first Englishman to enter San Francisco Bay, 1792
John Mason debuts the first horse-drawn streetcar in NYC, with a route between Prince and 14th on 4th Ave., 1832
Herman Melville publishes "Moby Dick", 1851
The St. Andrews Golf Club, in Yonkers, NY, opens with 6 holes, 1888
New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane) began her attempt to surpass fictitious journey of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around world in less than 80 days; She succeeded, finishing the trip in January in 72 days and 6 hours, 1889
Albert Einstein presents his quantum theory of light, 1908
The first airplane flight from the deck of a ship takes place in Norfolk, Virginia, 1910
The BBC begins radio service in the United Kingdom, 1922
The first regular UK singles chart published by the New Musical Express, 1952
NASA launches Apollo 12, the second manned mission to the surface of the Moon, 1969
After German reunification, the Federal Republic of Germany and the Republic of Poland sign a treaty confirming the Oder-Neisse line as the border between Germany and Poland, 1990
The last direct-current electrical distribution system in the United States is shut down in New York City by Con Edison, 2007
How Do I Even Manage To Turn On The Oven?
1 hour ago