Some Divine Comedy

It seems that, when G-d created the world, He promised man that there would be good, obedient, submissive women to be found in all corners of the world.

Then He made the world round.


If you end up driving down the right roads in Louisiana, you can sometimes end up with whiplash from the double takes you do reading the signs on the side of the road.  For example, one man was very surprised to see a "Vatican Baptist Church" sign, complete with service times.  He felt a little better after he saw the sign up the road a bit further welcoming him to Vatican, Louisiana.




Then there was the accountant who complained, when he got to heaven, that he was only 45, so he had been taken way too young.

"We have you down as 85," he was told by an angelic secretary.

"How can that be!" he yelled.

"We added up your billable hours."


No, Wednesday isn't usually joke day, but it beats having a Wednesday whinefest that no one wants to read, including me!




Today is:

Assyrian Martyrs Day -- various Assyrian communities

Battle of Boyaca Day -- Colombia

Canadian Open Old Time Fiddle Championship -- Shelburne, ON, Canada (these folks aren't just fiddling around, they are good!  through Sunday)

Eid al Fitr -- Islam (celebration of the end of Ramadan; begins at sundown, and runs through sundown on the 11th, but local dates and official government observances may vary)

Festival Wednesday -- British Virgin Islands

Harvest Holiday -- Slavic Pagan Calendar (reaping ceases for a few hours in honor of Volos' beard; bread is eaten and offerings given to Mother Earth and Volos for a bountiful harvest)

Independence Day / National Day -- Cote d'Ivoire

Miss Crustacean USA Beauty Pageant and Ocean City Creep -- Ocean City, NJ, US (crowning the most beautiful and fastest tree crab on Earth)

National Lighthouse Day -- US

National Raspberries in Cream Day

Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays, and especially the kind no one can open without a machete, what's with that!

Professional Speaker's Day -- www.professionalspeakersday.com

Purple Heart Day -- US (originally instituted this day in 1782 by George Washington)

Ramazan Bayramy Eve -- Turkey

Say "Cheese" Day -- begun by ecard companies looking for something to celebrate; in my family, we do not say "Cheese", we say "Chicken Lips!" Try it some time when walking past tourists who are trying to get a good photo, and watch them smile genuine smiles and come up with a good picture.

Sea Serpent Day -- no one knows why today, just enjoy

Smartest Leprechaun Eisteddfod -- Fairy Calendar

St. Albert of Trapani's Day (Patron of Carmelite schools; Messina, Italy; Trapani, Italy)

St. Cajetan's Day (Patron of job seekers and the unemployed)

Take Last Winter's Snowballs Out of the Freezer and Have a Fight Day -- in the northern hemisphere, it's certainly hot enough


Birthdays Today:

Charlize Theron, 1975
David Duchovny, 1960
Garrison Keillor, 1942
B.J. Thomas, 1942
"The Amazing" James Randi, 1928
Carl "Alfalfa" Switser, 1927
Billie Burke, 1884
Mata Hari, 1876


Today in History:

Battle of Crannon between Athens and Macedon, following the death of Alexander the Great, BC322
Construction of the dome of Santa Maria del Fiore begins in Florence, 1420
Coup again the Tianshun Emperor by the Ming Dynasty Chinese military general Cao Qin, 1461
Francis Drake's fleet returns to Plymouth, 1573
The first documented performance of Macbeth, at the Great Hall at Hampton Court, 1606
Sieur de La Salle's brigantine Le Griffon becomes the first ship to sail the upper Great Lakes, 1679
Cherokee Indians take Ft. Loudon, Tennessee, 1760
George Washington creates the Order of the Purple Heart, 1782
Simon Bolivar triumphs over the Spanish at the Battle of Boyaca, 1819
The long simmering tension between the Hatfields and the McCoys on the Kentucky/West Virginia border erupts into full scale violence on election day, 1882
The Peace Bridge opens between Fort Erie, Ontario and Buffalo, New York, 1927
IBM dedicates the first program-controlled calculator, the Automatic Sequence Controlled Calculator (known best as the Harvard Mark I), 1944
Thor Heyerdahl's balsa wood raft the Kon-Tiki, smashes into the reef at Raroia in the Tuamotu Islands after a 101-day, 7,000 kilometres (4,300 mi) journey across the Pacific Ocean in an attempt to prove that pre-historic peoples could have traveled from South America, 1947
Explorer 6 transmits the first TV photo of Earth from space, 1959
The "artistic crime of the century" occurs when Philippe Petit of France, after months of planning and smuggling in materials, makes an illegal tightrope walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center, 1974
Viking 2 enters orbit around Mars, 1976
The Washington Star ceases all operations after 128 years of publication, 1981
Takao Doi, Mamoru Mohri and Chiaki Mukai are chosen to be Japan's first astronauts, 1985
Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants breaks baseball great Hank Aaron's record by hitting his 756th home run, 2007

It has come to the attention of this most boring blogger that a few people are actually reading and commenting on my foolish ramblings.

I wish to thank any and all who stop to read the messiness that comes out of my warped little brain, and bear in mind a few things.

First, I haven't been blogging for very long. I really only started this so I could have a place to dump out a bunch of spouting in my brain that I want to later turn into letter format and forward to a particular friend. Yes, I know, if she has a friend like me, she does not need any enemies, especially if I am going to send her my drivel. Still, this is not something I figured anybody else would care much about, so I didn't exactly trumpet that I was going to attempt the most boring blog possible.

Second, I am the first cousin to a Luddite, and cannot even figure out how to do the most basic of things. Scratching out words with a line through them like Crabby and Bag Lady do, yet still having them appear, writing posts ahead and putting them in line to publish later, adding pictures, or making the overall appearance of the blog more interesting are all well beyond my capabilities. The fact that I can type is a big accomplishment, and I wouldn't know an HTML format if it came up and introduced itself on the street.

So, thank you to those who do read this on occasion. I cannot promise to be interesting, as that would interfering with being boring, but I will promise to try to be here. Although, if I were "all there" to begin with, I would have long ago learned to do things mentioned in the above paragraph. (Now, how would I insert a great big grin at my own expense after that line? See what i mean?)


Today is:

American Theatre Association Convention

Battle of Flowers Parade, Florida

Grouse Day/Glorious Twelfth, Scotland

Indian Day, Massachusetts

International Youth Day

Lights of Isis, Ancient Egypt

Mitcham Fair, Surrey, England

National Toasted Almond Bar Day

Old Time Farm Day

Sewing Machine Day

St. Porcarius' Day

Vinyl Record Day

Zaraday a/k/a Zarathud's Day


Birthdays Today:


Jane Wyatt, 1912
Cantinflas, 1911
Joe Besser, 1907
Cecil B. DeMille, 1881
Edith Hamilton, 1867
Katharine, Lee Bates, 1859
"Diamond Jim" Brady, 1856
Robert Mills, 1781


Today in History:

The last ruler of the Egyptian Ptolemaic Dynasty, Cleopatra VII Philopater, commits suicide by asp bite, BC30
A conjunction of Venus and Jupiter occurs which may have been what the Bible calls the Star of Bethlehem, 3
Crusaders win the Battle of Ascalon, 1099
Juan Ponce de Leon arrives in Puerto Rico, 1508
Chicago is founded, 1833
Hawai'i annexed by the US, 1898
William Somerset Maugham published "Of Human Bondage", 1915