"Hey, mom, guess what i did today?"
Besides get so sick this morning that you had to stay home from school?
"Yeah, but I'm feeling better now. And remember how we were going to have a party at Fred's house today?"
Yes, and you took some of our chairs from your dad's man cave and the kitchen table. When will those come home?
"Oh, yeah, we're going to get those back, I promise. But guess what I did while I was at Fred's house!"
Am i sure i want to know?
"Maybe not, but anyway, i went in their guest bathroom, and remember how bad my stomach was this morning?"
Yes, the whole house remembers. We're not quite over it yet.
"Well, I did the same thing there! I stunk up their guest bathroom so bad that Fred's father told me it was gross and almost threw me out of the house! I told him 'Now the party can really start!'"
So, it's not a party until he destroys a bathroom. Figures.
In honor of National Humor Month:
What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four leaf clover?
A rash of good luck.
Boudreaux goes to a local carpenter in his hometown and asks him if he could build a box two inches wide, by two inches high, by 50 feet long.
The carpenter, slightly confused by the request, says he could do it, but out of curiosity, he asks what the box will be used for.
Boudreaux says "Nothing really important; you see, my neighbor moved about a week ago, and he forgot a couple of things. He asked if I could mail his garden hose.
Administrative Professionals Day (original date)
Aggie Muster -- Texas A&M University
Alfred G. Packer Day, Colorado
Brasilia Day -- Brazil (Sometimes called Tiradentes Dia)
Feast of Wadjet (a/k/a Udjet or Buto) -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar
Homecoming of the Elves -- Fairy Calendar
International Creativity and Innovation Day
John Muir Day -- US
Kartini Day -- Indonesia (honoring a leader who helped emancipate women)
Kindergarten Day -- Germany
Maundy Thursday -- Christian (a/k/a Holy, Green, Chare, Sheer, or Shere Thursday)
National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day
National High Five Day
National Teach Children to Save Day
National Tree Planting Day -- Kenya
Parilia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (shepherd's festival of Pares, goddess of herders)
San Jacinto Day -- Texas, US
Sumarda Gurinn-fyrsti -- Iceland (first day of summer)
Robert Smith, 1959
Andie Macdowell, 1958
James Morrison, 1954
Tony Danza, 1951
Iggy Pop, 1947
Charles Grodin, 1935
Elaine May, 1932
Elizabeth II, Queen of the United Kingdom, 1926
Anthony Quinn, 1915
John Muir, 1838
Charlotte Bronte, 1816
Catherine the Great, 1729
Jan van Riebeeck, 1619
Today in History:
Traditional date for the founding of Rome by Romulus and Remus, BC753
Marc Antony continues to battle the senators who assasinated Julius Caesar in the Battle of Mutina, which he loses, BC43
Henry VIII ascends the throne of England, 1509
Hernan Cortez lands in Veracruz, 1519
The Maryland Toleration Act is passed, granting religious freedom to all in that colony, 1649
Catherine the Great ends noble privileges in Russia, 1785
Tiradentes, leader of the independence movement in Brazil, is executed, 1792
Republic of Texas forces under Sam Houston defeat Mexican troops under Santa Ana, winning the Battle of San Jacinto and the independence of Texas, 1836
The first train crosses the first bridge over the Mississippi River, crossing from Rock Island, Illinois to Davenport, Iowa, 1855
Alexander Douglas patents the bustle, 1857
Baha'u'llah, the founder of the Baha'i' faith, declares his mission, 1863
The first firehouse pole is installed in a firehouse in NYC, 1878
The Red Baron (Manfred von Richthofen)is shot down, 1918
The first Aggie Muster is held, a remembrance of fellow Texas A&M graduates who had died in the previous year, 1922
Brasilia is officially inaugurated as the capital of Brazil, 1960
In Beijing, around 100,000 students gather in Tiananmen Square to commemorate Chinese reform leader Hu Yaobang, 1989
Alexander Wolszczan announces his the discovery of extrasolar planets, 1994
33 minutes ago