Saturday, July 2, 2011



Now they have gone and done it.

Lockouts in major sports.

This is going to be bad.

Not for people like me. In my house, we follow mostly high school and college sports. The local high schools that friends attend, and the local college. Seldom are all of the males in this house glued to the tube scarfing down games as fast as they can be played. They are only interested in a couple of pro teams.

After all, to us, pro teams just don't seem the same, and this kind of thing proves it. When you play for your high school, it's about school spirit. When it's the local college, it's a bit fiercer, but we're alums and it's more about loyalty. When it's the pros, it's more about the money than anything, unless you stay with the Saints, which practically makes you one. After all, the only reasons to stay with that team are you can't get on another, you are loyal to a fault, or you have fallen in love with New Orleans. But i digress.

So, for those of you for whom this is a problem, a/k/a sports widows. How are you going to survive your spouse's withdrawal? Well, i've been thinking about it, and there are a couple of ideas i've been rattling around.

First, you could try getting him interested in watching different sports. Golf, for example, or bowling. After all, with two channels to keep on the air (you don't think they are going to shut down, do you?), ESPN, not to mention the other sports channels, other sports are likely to be getting more air time. The problem with this, of course, is that eventually, when the sports that are currently experiencing lockouts end the lockouts, and they will because there is too much money involved for them not to, then you might have a spouse who watches what he used to and more. If you don't mind him being in a couch coma and are used to using him as part of the Christmas decorations, this might not bother you. If you like to have him speaking to you once in a while, you might want to try something else.

The something else could be getting him off the couch and onto the field himself. Get him involved in a sport. There are amateur leagues for lots of things all over the country, and most guys would love to try to see if they know more than the pro coaches they yell at all year for being such doofuses. That, however, can run into sports injuries, if he doesn't know his limits, as so many men don't. Be careful with this choice.

Women who are into exercise and staying active can buy him a basketball goal for the driveway and go out there with the whole famiily. It might start a new tradition. Or buy the equipment and get him to toss balls to the kids, or teach them to bat. Again, make sure he doesn't hurt himself if you can help it.

If he gets desperate enough, you might actually get him to build that back deck you've been wanting, or clean the garage and attic. Try not to let him spend all of his time watching the talking heads talk about the lockouts and their effects. That will just make him crazy, and he will in turn make you crazy.

So, if anyone else has other ideas, kick them around here. It can't hurt to have lots of possible ways to deal with the withdrawal that will undoubtedly be spreading like a bad case of the flu if these lockouts last too long.

Today is

*Adonia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (date approximate, but always in July, a ritual to honor Adonis)

*American Independence Day Celebration -- Rebild Park, Aalborg, Denmark (yes, really, through July 4)

*Distressed Elves' Creditors' Day -- Fairy Calendar

*Flag Day -- Curacao

*Halfway Point of the Year Day

*I Forgot Day (the day to celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, or other special days that you forgot during the first half of the year)

*International Chicken Wing Day

*National Anisette Day

*Palio di Provenzano -- Siena, Italy (horse race and pageant, named after the Madonna di Provenzano, whose church is in Siena)

*St. Swithin's Day

*St. Paul's Carnival -- Bristol, England

*Violin Lovers' Day

*World UFO Day

Birthdays Today

Lindsay Lohan, 1986
Johnny Weir, 1984
Jose and Ozzie Canseco, 1964
Ron Silver, 1946
Richard Petty, 1937
Polly Holiday, 1937
Dave Thomas, 1932
Medgar Evers, 1925
Dan Rowan, 1922
Ken Curtis, 1916
Thurgood Marshall, 1908
Hermann Hesse, 1877

Today in History

Thomas Savery patents the first steam engine, 1698
Vermont becomes the first American territory to abolish slavery, 1777
Charles J. Guiteau shoots and fatally wounds U.S. President James Garfield, who eventually dies from an infection on September 19, 1881
Twenty miles off the coast of Cuba, 53 rebelling African slaves led by Joseph Cinque take over the slave ship Amistad, 1893
Italian scientist Guglielmo Marconi obtains patent for radio in London, 1897
The first zeppelin flight takes place on Lake Constance near Friedrichshafen, Germany, 1900
Amelia Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan are last heard from over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to make the first equatorial round-the-world flight 1937
The first Wal-Mart store opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas, 1962
North and South Vietnam, divided since 1954, reunite to form the Socialist Republic of Vietnam, 1976
The AbioCor self contained artificial heart is first implanted, 2001
Steve Fossett becomes the first person to fly solo around the world nonstop in a balloon, 2002

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