Showing posts with label funny stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stuff. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

For JZ, With Apology if She's Seen It Before (Wordless Wednesday) and Words for Wednesday

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Linking up with Wordless Wednesday and Sandee at Comedy Plus.     





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Words for Wednesday was begun by Delores and has become a moveable feast of word or picture or music prompts to encourage us to write stories, poems, or whatever strikes our fancy.    

This month, the prompts are being provided by River at Drifting Through Life.    

This week's words/prompts are:

a saying I heard a lot when I was very young, but not so much now, 
1. "wrap your teeth around that"

and/or:

1. treehouse
2. ferry
3. statue
4. step

She stepped out of the back door and rang the dinner bell, knowing what came next.  Whooping and jumping, the boy came tearing out of the TREEHOUSE in the manner she just knew was calculated to make her heart stop.  Someday there would be another broken bone, but as the first one didn't slow him, she knew not much would.

While the boy tore up the path to the house, she looked to the horse barn.  He and the girl should have heard and come out by now, but instead she saw them STEP out from behind it, and she knew something was afoot.  All in good time, she thought to herself.  None of them can keep secrets for long.

He, the boy, and the girl came rattling up to the porch and like a traffic director, she shuffled them to the sink for handwashing first.  As they passed the oven, he turned on the light to see what was in there.

"Pie!" he exclaimed.  "Are those the first berries of the season?"

"The ones you and the children picked yesterday," she responded with a smile.

A loud "Wahoo!" came out of three mouths, and he said, "As my uncle used to say, 'wait'll you WRAP YOUR TEETH AROUND THAT'!"

Sitting at the table, talk turned to this and that, and she started musing about when the St. Francis STATUE she'd ordered for her garden was going to come in.  At that, she caught a glance between him and the girl, as if they were suppressing smiles.

"Okay, you two, what's up?" she asked.  He was a great husband and dad, but a terrible secret keeper, and the girl took after him in that.

"Oh, not much," he tried to play nonchalant, but failed excellently.  "Just that while I was at work in town today, Mr. Peters stopped by with a message for you.  He said that a very heavy package was put on the FERRY to cross the bay tomorrow morning.  He was asking if we could pick it up ourselves from the landing, as he wasn't feeling up to hauling something that heavy himself."

"Wonderful!" she exclaimed.  "That means I can dig the hole for the base in the morning and you can pick it up while you're in the area and bring it home tomorrow afternoon."

"You don't have to dig the hole!" the girl chimed in with glee.  "We did that for you this evening, in the exact spot you wanted.  All we have to do tomorrow is drop it in."

"So that's what you two are up to," she said with a smile.  "Well, I'll thank you with that pie I baked, and, a bonus, I hid some ice cream in the bottom of the big chest freezer so we can make it a la mode!"


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Today is:

Birthday of SPB Yang di-Pertuan Agong -- Malaysia (in this elective monarchy, the current king's birthday is usually celebrated on the first Saturday in June, regardless of his actual birth date; moved to September this year so as not to intersect with Ramadan)

Blessed Father Jacques Leval Day -- Mauritius (physician turned priest who lived among and ministered to the poorest of the poor in Mauritius; people of all faiths make a pilgrimage to his tomb today)

Bonza Bottler Day

Chrysanthemum Day or Kiku no Sekku -- Japan

Community Day -- EX, O, Spain

Day of the Victims of Holocaust and of Racial Violence -- Slovakia

Farmers and Threshermens Jubilee -- New Centerville, PA, US (steam engines, threshing the old fashioned ways, and fun; through Sunday)

Festivity of Our Lady of Aranzazu -- Oñati, Basque

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Awareness Day -- spreading the word about the very preventable problem of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders   

Independence Day -- Tajikistan(1991)

Liberation Ceremony -- Petange, Luxembourg

Milk-Bathing Festival -- Fairy Calendar

National Day -- North Korea(1948)

National Sports Day -- Indonesia

National Steak Au Poivre Day

St. Peter Claver's Day (Patron of African missions, inter-racial justice, race relations; Colombia; Lake Charles, LA; Shreveport, LA; Witbank, South Africa; against slavery)

Synaxis of Ss. Joachim and Anna -- Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches

Teddy Bear Day -- internet generated, but since it's so much fun to have one, celebrate your old friend

Wakes Monday -- Abbots Bromley, England

Wienerschnitzel Day

Wonderful Weirdos Day -- we all have a few in our lives, they remind us to be true to ourselves, so thank them today; sponsored by Wellcat Holidays


Anniversaries Today:

California becomes the 31th US State, 1850


Birthdays Today:

Michelle Williams, 1980
Michael Buble, 1975
Goran Visnjic, 1972
Rachel Hunter, 1969
Adam Sandler, 1966
Hugh Grant, 1960
Mario Batall, 1960
Angela Cartwright, 1952
Michael Keaton, 1951
Tom Wopat, 1951
Joe Theisman, 1949
Billy Preston, 1946
Otis Redding, 1941
Sylvia Miles, 1934
Cliff Robertson, 1925
James Hilton, 1900
Colonel Harland Sanders, 1890
Alf Landon, 1887
Leo Tolstoy, 1828
William Bligh, 1754


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Welcome Back, Kotter"(TV), 1975
"Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids"(TV), 1972
Imagine(Lennon album release), 1971


Today in History:

William I, The Conqueror, dies in a horseriding accident, 1087
The New England colonies declare war on the Wampanoag Tribe, 1675
The first steam engine arrives in the US colonies, 1753
The first recorded black to graduate from a US college, Alexander Lucius Twilight, receives a BA from Middlebury College, 1817
Charles Durant, the first US aeronaut, flies a balloon from Castle Garden, NYC to Perth Amboy, NJ, 1830
The first plate glass photograph is taken by John Herschel, 1839
California becomes the 31st state and the territories of New Mexico and Utah are created, 1850
The Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works is finalized, 1886
Orville Wright makes the first one hour plane flight, 1908
J. Verdrines becomes the first person to fly at over 100mph, 1912
First actual case of a computer bug being found: a moth lodges in a relay of a Harvard Mark II computer at Harvard University, 1947
Hurricane Betsy makes its second landfall near New Orleans, Louisiana, becoming the first hurricane to do over $1billion in actual unadjusted damages, 1965
The four-day Attica Prison riot begins, 1971
The Palestine Liberation Organization officially recognizes Israel as a legitimate state, 1993
At exactly 01:46:40 UTC, the Unix billenium is reached, marking the beginning of the use of 10-digit Unix timestamps, 2001
The "Ophel Treasure", about 1,400 years old, is discovered near the foot of Temple Mount in Jerusalem, 2013
Queen Elizabeth II becomes Great Britain's longest-reigning monarch at 63 years and seven months, beating the previous record set by her great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria, 2015
Egyptian archaeologists announce the discovery of the 3,500-year-old tomb of a goldsmith and his family in Draa Abul-Naga, Egypt, 2017
In what could be world's most important modern literary discovery, Jason Scott-Warren finds poet John Milton's own copy of Shakespeare's First Folio of 1623 complete with Milton's own notes and annotations in a Philadelphia library, 2019

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sweet Revenge

While in Kentucky last month, i got a picture of what revenge might look like.


On the farm.


The cow has his day!
The clouds looked worse than what they delivered, we didn't really get much rain, just wind.  But the cow looked like he was having fun, no matter the weather!



Today is:

Constitution Day -- South Africa (the 1993 Constitution, granting blacks the right to vote, was approved)

Day of Ardvi Sura (Aredvi Sura Anahita), Mother of the Stars -- Ancient Persian Calendar (date approximate)

European Antibiotic Awareness Day -- ECDC (because prudent use of antibiotics can help stop antibiotic resistance)

Feast of the Virgen de Chiquinquirá -- Maracaibo, Venezuela

Hap-Dancing and Tiger-Tuning -- Fairy Calendar

Independence Day -- Morocco(1956); Western Saraha(1975)

Married to a Scorpio Support Day -- remembering those married to Scorpios (like me!) and suffering because of it, and encouraging them too hide the flow charts and assert themselves today; sponsored by Wellcat Holidays

National Day -- Oman (trad.; will be observed Nov. 27)

National Entrepreneurs Day -- US (by Congressional designation)

National French Vichyssoise Day

Ned Ludd Memorial Machine-Smashing Day -- internet generated, but enjoy!  i know i will

Proclamation of the Republic -- Latvia (1918)

Push-Button Phone Day -- launched this day in 1963

School Pride Day -- US (always on the Tuesday of American Education Week)

St. Odo of Cluny's Day (Patron of needed rain)

Total Disregard for Taste Day -- marking the debut of Howard Stern's radio show on this day in 1985

Vertieres Day -- Haiti (Battle of Vertieres and Army Day)

William Tell Day -- the famed apple-off-his-son's-head-shot was today in 1307



Birthdays Today:

Owen Wilson, 1968
Elizabeth Perkins, 1960
Sinbad, 1956
Katy Sagal, 1956
Kevin Nealn, 1953
Andrea Marcvicci, 1948
Jameson Parker, 1947
Wilma Mankiller, 1945
Susan Sullivan, 1944
Linda Evans, 1942
Brenda Vaccaro, 1939
Margaret Eleanor Atwood, 1939
Mickey Mouse, 1928
Alan Shepard, Jr., 1923
John Herndon "Johnny" Mercer, 1909
Imogene Coca, 1908
George Gallup, 1901
Eugene Ormandy, 1899
Clarence Shepard Day, 1874
Dorothy Dix (Elizabeth Meriwether Gilmer), 1861
Ignacy Jan Paderewski, 1860
James Edward Sullivan, 1860
Sir William Schwenck Gilbert, 1836
Asa Gray, 1810
Louis-Jacques Daguerre, 1787
Sojourner Truth, 1787
Carl Maria von Weber, 1786


Debuting/Premiering Today:

Star Trek: Generations(Film), 1994
Malcolm X(Film), 1992
Calvin and Hobbes(Comic strip), 1985 (in this first strip, Calvin catches Hobbes in a tiger trap baited with a tuna sandwich)
"See It Now"(TV), 1951
"Skin of Our Teeth"(Wilder play), 1943

Steamboat Willie (a/k/a Mickey Mouse), 1928
US Uniform Time Zone Plan, 1883 (on this date, the railroads adopted the current uniform time zone plan; it wasn't legally mandated until 1918)


Today in History:

Old St. Peter's Basilica is consecrated, 326
The Japanese Emperor Kammy relocates the residence of Nara to Kioto, 794
William Tell shoots the apple off his son's head, 1307
The Holland/Zealand dikes break during a storm, resulting in thousands of deaths, 1421
The first English printed book, "Dictes & Sayengis of the Phylosophers", is published, 1477
Christopher Columbus first sights the island now known as Puerto Rico, 1493
Vasco da Gama reaches the Cape of Good Hope, 1497
The worst earthquake in Massachusetts Bay/Boston area, 1755
The first Unitarian Minister in the US is ordained in Boston, 1787
30 women meet at Mrs Silas Lee's home in Wiscasset Maine, to organize the Female Charitable Society, first woman's club in America, 1805
Mark Twain's story The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County is published in the New York Saturday Press, 1865
National Woman's Christian Temperance Union organizes in Cleveland, 1874
Standard time zones are formed by railroads in the US and Canada, 1883
The first newspaper Sunday color comic strip is printed, in the NY World, 1894
Britain flies its first sea plane, 1911
Lincoln Deachey performs the first airplane loop-the-loop, over San Diego, 1913
Sigma Alpha Rho, a Jewish high school fraternity, is founded in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, 1917
Release of the animated short Steamboat Willie, the first fully synchronized sound cartoon, directed by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks, featuring the third appearances of cartoon characters Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse, 1928
Off the south coast of Newfoundland in the Atlantic Ocean, a Richter magnitude 7.2 submarine earthquake, centered on Grand Banks, breaks 12 submarine transatlantic telegraph cables and triggers a tsunami that destroys many south coast communities in the Burin Peninsula, 1929
New York City's Mad Bomber places his first bomb at a Manhattan office building used by Consolidated Edison, 1940
In the United States, the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) is ratified, 1993
HIP 13044 b, a planet that was formed in another galaxy, is discovered in the Helmi Stream, 2010