Showing posts with label squirrel joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label squirrel joke. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Mindfulness and Repetition and Squirrel Mayhem, a Random and Happy Tuesday Post

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It's time once again for a random and happy Tuesday, linking up with Stacy's Random Thoughts at Stacy Uncorked and Sandee at Comedy Plus 

Yesterday, at Dr. D’s, i tripped over a book called Mindfulness while we were looking for all the things she had lost since the last time i was there, such as her coin purse, her debit card, and, again, the check book.  It made us both laugh when i told her that book was like Sweetie and the memory supplement pills he can never remember the name of.  The pills are not working, obviously, and neither is that book!

Our Sunday night Bible study group decided a few years ago that we will not have our Christmas potluck and White Elephant gift exchange in December, as there are too many other things going on and too many people wouldn’t be able to make it.  Instead, we do it on Super Bowl Sunday and make it a party and watch the big game. 

Yesterday, Sweetie noted that this year, it would be on Groundhog Day, and Mr. LS said, “Yes, come on Groundhog Day and you will get to eat the same food over and over!”

Every week i figure i will tell the story of my friend, DiDreaming, and the squirrel, and every week i either forget or have something else come up.

She was feeding a squirrel in the park, and another squirrel came up wanting his portion, and in his excitement ended up accidentally biting her finger.  How a squirrel can mistake a finger for a peanut i do not know, but i guess he was just a very eager squirrel when it comes to food.

Please note that all of them are eager when it comes to food.

She was right across from the police station, and an officer noticed her trying to stem the bleeding while also trying to shoo the squirrel out of her purse where it was trying to get at the whole peanut package, as well as get something from the purse, such as a tissue, to wrap on her finger, and he insisted on helping.

After escorting her to the police station, he called for paramedics.  Yes, it was a slow day for the police, and the paramedics next door, too.  The paramedics came and bandaged the finger while one officer took a report of the incident, another tried to get a description of the perpetrator, and a third was attempting to draw a picture to put on the wanted poster.

When one paramedic asked if they were going to form a search team, an officer said, “How are we going to do that?  All the squirrels look alike to me!”

That created pandemonium as others told him, “You can’t say that!” and “Now the squirrel anti-discrimination committee is going to be after you!”

All in all, it was quite an adventure, and one she does not want to repeat.

Having run out of the previous set of photos Grandma sent, i am starting in on a new set, photos which undoubtedly took great patience on the part of the photographers, and no, i don’t know where she gets this stuff:








Have a fabulous Tuesday, everyone!




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Today is:

Assembly Line Workers' Day -- listed on many sites but no particular reason for it to be this day; then again, why not today?

Azhirnikhua -- Abkhazia (Day of World Creation)

Cakes and Ale Day -- emblems of the good life, a day to remember the good things we have, and be grateful

Celebration of the 2nd Week of Moonhopper -- Fairy Calendar

Daikoku Matsuri -- Kanda Myojin Shine, Tokyo, Japan (purification ceremony; through tomorrow)

Day of Defenders of the Native Land (Army Day) -- Uzbekistan

Feast of Divina Pastora -- Barquisimeto, Venezuela (religious procession attended by about 2 million people)

Feast of the Ass -- Medieval Christianity (commemorates the Flight Into Egypt)

International Kite Festival -- Jaipur and Ahmedabad, India

Makar Sandranti -- India/Hindu Calendar (part of the sidereal solstice festivals)

National Dress Up Your Pet Day -- do you really dislike your pet this much?

National Forest Conservation Day -- Thailand

National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day

Niino no Yukimatsuri -- Izu shrine, Niino, Nagano Prefecture, Japan (snow festival with offerings made to bring a good harvest in the coming year; through tomorrow)

Organize Your Home Day -- another one that i can't figure out who started it, but i will say s/he was nuts to think this could be done in one day

Orthodox New Year -- RS, Bosnia and Herzegovina; Serbia

Pongal continues -- Tamil New Year, among the Tamil People (multiple day thanksgiving festival at the end of harvest)
    Tamil Thai Pongal Day -- Sri Lanka
    Maghi Parba/Maghe Sankranti -- Western Nepal

Ratification Day -- US (anniversary of the Treaty of Paris that recognized the independence of the US from England)

Revolution and Youth Day -- Tunisia

Sidereal Winter Solstice Celebrations -- throughout South and Southeast Asia

St. Felix of Nola's Day (Patron of domestic animals, eyes; Nola, Italy; against eye diseases, false witness, lies, perjury)

St. Sava's Day (Patron of Serbia and all Serbs)

Take a Missionary to Lunch Day -- to honor Albert Schweitzer's birth anniversary



Anniversaries Today:

Joe DiMaggio marries Marilyn Monroe, 1954


Birthdays Today:

Kristin Cavallari, 1987
Jason Bateman, 1969
Emily Watson, 1967
Shepard Smith, 1964
Steven Soderbergh, 1963
Lawrence Kasdan, 1949
Carl Weathers, 1948
Nina Totenberg, 1944
Holland Taylor, 1943
Faye Dunaway, 1941
Jack Jones, 1938
Andy Rooney, 1919
William Bendix, 1906
John dos Passos, 1896
Hal Roach, 1892
Hugh Lofting, 1886
Albert Schweitzer, 1875
Thornton W. Burgess, 1874
Richard Felton Outcault, 1863
Matthew Fontaine Maury, 1806
Benedict Arnold, 1741


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"The Bionic Woman"(TV), 1976
"Sanford and Son"(TV), 1972
"Sinfonia Antartica"(Vaughan Williams' 7th symphony), 1953
"Today Show"(TV), 1952
"Tosca"(Puccini Opera), 1900


Today in History:

The Knights Templar are formally approved by the Roman Catholic Church, 1129
Pope Leo X issues a papal bull against slavery, 1514
Spain annexes Cuba, 1539
The "Fundamental Orders", the first written constitution that created a government, is adopted in Connecticut, 1639
Massachusetts holds a day of fasting for wrongly accusing "witches", 1699
Congress ratifies the Treaty of Paris, formally ending the American Revolutionary War, 1783
The US Supreme Court rules that racial separation on trains is unconstitutional, 1878
An earthquake in Kingston, Jamaica, kills more than 1000, 1907
Henry Ford introduces the assembly line to the production of the Model-T, 1914
The first prototype of the MiG-17 makes its maiden flight, 1950
The Reserve Bank of Australia, the country's central bank and banknote issuing authority, is established, 1960
Toronto, Ontario Mayor Mel Lastman becomes the first mayor in Canada to call in the Army to help with emergency medical evacuations and snow removal after more than one meter of snow paralyzes the city, 1999
The national flag of Georgia, the so-called "five cross flag", is restored to official use after a hiatus of some 500 years, 2004
Landing of the Huygens probe on Saturn's moon Titan, 2005
The MESSENGER spacecraft performs a Mercury flyby, 2008
American rock climbers Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson become the first to successfully free-climb the Dawn Wall face of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park, 2015
The US National Safety Council publishes a report saying that, for the first time ever, an American’s chance of dying of an opioid overdose is greater than the chance of dying in a traffic accident, 2019

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Silly Sunday: Running Circles

Silly Sunday is hosted by Sandee, of Comedy Plus.  It's the place to come for weekly laughs, and the rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process.

Here is how it works:  Laugh and Link Up!

  1. Post a joke.
  2. Link Up with the URL to your joke in the Linky Tools Widget.
  3. Read my joke, and follow the link above to read Sandee's joke, too.
  4. Leave a comment to tell me how much you enjoyed my joke.
  5. Try and visit a few others participating in Silly Sunday.

A blessed and beautiful Easter to all of you!  Today will be very busy, i will pick up Ms. Belinda at 6am and take her to the sunrise service, because she hasn't been cleared to drive yet.  Then i will run her home, go back to the church to see if they need a hand in the nursery area, attend prayer, and at 11am i'll head out to the place where Pastor M has church for the homeless.  There, i will help prepare the bags of food and supplies given to each person who attends the service, and assist the Sunday school teacher with the 3- to 11-year-olds.

Yes, even on Sunday i'm running like a squirrel on the road that doesn't know which way to go, so i'm going to tell the squirrel joke, which some of you may remember.

A local church was having trouble with squirrels.  They were getting into the buildings and damaging wires and making nests, so the church members got up there and tried to find all the ways the squirrels were getting in a block those up.  That didn't help much, the squirrels found or made new ways in.

Next they hired a local company to humanely trap and relocate the squirrels.  About a week later, the squirrels were back.

Finally, though, they found a solution.  They baptized the squirrels and made them church members, and now they only see them at Christmas and Easter!




Today is

Babu Jagivan Ram's Birthday -- Andhra Pradesh, India

Bell Bottoms Day -- remember those? apparently so did someone who wanted to celebrate the fact

Easter -- Christian (remembrance of the resurrection of Jesus)
     Paskar -- Iceland (Easter, the day trolls and evil beings sleep through the day, so an auspicious day to look for the wishing stone)

Easter Island Day -- anniversary of the "discovery" of the Island in 1722, on Easter Sunday of that year

Fringe Fairies Welcome Party -- Fairy Calendar

Go for Broke Day -- take a risk, and make it count!  step out and do something extraordinary; anniversary of the day in 1945 that a US Army unit made up of almost all Japanese-Americans, the 442nd Regimental, went for broke and managed to break through the Nazi Gothic line in Italy in one day

Kanamara Matsuri -- Kanayama Shrine, Kawasaki, Japan ("Festival of the Steel Phallus", a phallic symbol festival, now a big tourist draw and used to raise money for HIV research)

Lady Luck Day -- in honor of the Roman festival of Fortune held each year on this date

National Caramel Day

National Deep Dish Pizza Day -- anniversary of the day in 1979 that Uno Chicago Grill, originator of the deep dish pizza, first opened a restaurant outside the Chicago area

National Raisin and Spice Bar Day

Nones of April -- Ancient Roman Calendar; also
     Fortuna Publica -- festival of Fortune in her role as the Luck of the People

Quing Ming Jie -- China; Hong Kong; Macau; North Korea; Taiwan (Tomb Sweeping Day, last day of the Quingming Festival)(a/k/a Festival of Clear Brightness, Festival for Tending Graves, Grave Sweeping Day, Chinese Memorial Day, Tomb Sweeping Day, Spring Remembrance, and All Souls Day (not to be confused with the Roman Catholic holiday of the same name); the festival includes kite flying and rituals to call the spring rains, as well as cleaning the graves of ancestors and offering them gifts)

Saint Vincent Ferrer's Day (Patron of brick makers, builders, construction workers, pavement workers, plumbers, tile makers; of Calamonaci, Italy; Casteltermini, Agrigento, Italy; Leganes, Philippines)

Sikmogil -- South Korea (Arbor Day)


Anniversary Today:

John Rolfe marries Pocahontas, 1614


Birthdays Today:

Mitch Pileggi, 1952
Agnetha Faltskog, 1950
Max Gail, 1943
Michael Moriarty, 1942
Judith A. Resnik, 1949
Colin Powell, 1937
Frank Gorshin, 1934
Roger Corman, 1926
Gale Storm, 1921
Gregory Peck, 1916
Bette Davis, 1908
Spencer Tracy, 1900
Booker T. Washington, 1856
Joseph Lister, 1827
Elihu Yale, 1649


Debuting/Premiering Today:

"The Secret Garden"(Musical), 1991
"Married . . . with Children"(TV), 1987
"Secret Agent"(TV), 1961
"Fireside Theatre"(TV), 1949
"Pavane pour une infante défunte"(Ravel piano solo, Pavane for a Dead Princess), 1902
"Die Fledermaus"(Operetta), 1874
The Symphony No. 2 in D major(Beethoven Op. 36), 1803


Today in History:

St. Patrick returns to Ireland as a missionary bishop, 456
Two hundred Dutch noblemen petition to have the Spanish Inquisition suspended in the Netherlands, 1566
The Daimyo (Lord) of the Satsuma Domain in southern Kyushu, Japan, completes his successful invasion of the Ryukyu Kingdom in Okinawa, 1609
The Native American Indian princess Pocahontas, daughter of Chief Powhatan, marries Englishman John Rolfe, 1614
Jacob Roggeveen discovers Easter Island, 1722
The first recorded meteorite in Scotland falls in Possil, 1804
Helen Keller learns her first word, "water," from Anne Sullivan, 1887
The Greco-Turkish War, also called "Thirty Days' War", is declared between Greece and the Ottoman Empire, 1897
Archaeologists in Knossos, Crete, discover a large cache of clay tablets with hieroglyphic writing in a script they call Linear B, 1900
Firestone Tire and Rubber Company begins production of balloon-tires, 1923
In an act of civil disobedience, Mohandas Gandhi breaks British law after marching to the sea and making salt, 1930
In the Dominion of Newfoundland, 10,000 rioters seize the Colonial Building leading to the end of self-government, 1932
Ethel and Julius Rosenberg are sentenced to death for espionage, 1951
Winston Churchill resigns as Prime Minister of the UK because of failing health, 1955
Ripple Rock, an underwater threat to navigation in the Seymour Narrows in Canada is destroyed in one of the largest non-nuclear controlled explosions of the time, 1958
In Japan, the Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge linking Shikoku with Honshu, the largest suspension bridge in the world, opens, 1998
North Korea launches its controversial Kwangmyongsong-2 rocket, 2009
SkyNews admits it illegally hacked emails that belonged to members of the public on two separate occasions, 2012