Thursday, August 27, 2009

"He's a good man, but...."

Fill in the blank. He won't accept me the way I am. He says if I would just do what he says everything would be fine. He says if I would just change, life would be perfect. He demands that I have sex with him no matter what, even when he has been yelling at me and making me feel like crap. He is emotionally abusive.

Real life in the chat room yesterday. Makes my blood boil to watch a friend die from the inside from this crap. I finally got her to admit she feels like a whore, because she stays, and gives in to his sexual demands, because she only has unemployment now, so he holds all the cards.

If you have to follow a statement with the word "but", whatever preceded the "but" is usually a lie.

He is not a good man.

He had an affair, I am convinced. She told me about how he used to have a "friend" at work, and the friend got fired a while back, but before the firing he worked late with her and went on business trips with her. I cannot convince her that it was an affair, and she is too scared right now, because she is unemployed, to confront him.

So she continues the charade, the mockery of what God intended true marriage, true oneness of spirit, to be, just because she is afraid.

The kids are grown. It's just her and the dog.

They have had severe financial problems and are on the verge of bankruptcy.

He is not a good man.

He is abusive.

Another friend in chat, in trying to convince her, had to finally leave the room, because it reminded her too much of her mother, who used to make excuses for the father who would beat the toddler clinging to his leg with, "He's a good man, but..." excuses. She did the same with her own husband, and now her kids won't speak to her and blame her for what their dad did.

These men make me sick.

They are not good men.

Real life in the chat room yesterday.

Today is:

Feast of Incandescent Rebellion

Global Forgiveness Day

Just Because Day

Moldova National Day

National Pots de Creme Day

Nativity of Isis (Egyptian goddess of fertility)

Notting Hill Carnival, London, England

Ould Lammas Fair, Ireland

Petroleum Day

St. Caesarius' Day

St. Monica's Day

Birthdays Today:

Paul "Pee-wee Herman" Reubens, 1952
Barbara Bach, 1947
Tuesday Weld, 1943
Martha Raye, 1916
Lyndon B. Johnson, 1908
C.S. Forester, 1899
Samuel Goldwyn, 1882

Today in History:

The Persian invasion of Greece is halted with Greek victories in two separate battles, BC479
Koreans battle and prevent Japanese invasion, 663
The first unmanned hydrogen balloom flight reaching 900 m altitude, 1783
Edgar Rice Burroughs' publishes "Tarzan of the Apes", 1912


  1. I find these situations heartbreaking, but also frustrating. When the victims cling to their abusers, all the common sense advice and support in the world doesn't seem to persuade them to leave. Good of you to try though!

  2. Thank you, Crabby. I agree that it is both.

    As she gains in strength, I hope she does eventually break away.