Wednesday, August 5, 2009

With apologies to Dr. Seuss, an adaptation of "Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Now!"
By a mom tired of tripping on this stuff.

The time has come.

The time has come.
The time is now.
Just go. Go. GO!
Doesn't matter how.

You can go by bin,
Tossed in there any how.
Nasty Clutter Monster,
will you please go now!

Take the old skates.
Bring along the skis.
Wear the old hat.
But please go. Please!

I don't care.
You can take the bike.
On the way out grab the trike
wheels if you like.

If you like you can go
with every old shoe.
Just go, go, GO!
Please do, do DO!

Nasty Clutter Monster,
I don't care how,
Nasty Clutter Monster,
will you please Go NOW!

Take the old papers.
Take the singing stuffed fish.
You can take them out in boxes
if you wish.

If you wish you may take
junk I bought on sale.
Old cards I never
found time to mail.

Nasty Clutter Monster!
Don't you know
the time has come
to go, Go, GO!

Get on your way!
Just do not stay!
Take all this stuff
with you today!

Leave not old balloons,
broken broom sticks, or
the nasty bureau with the
stuck shut drawer.

Pack old toys and
better yet,
take the matching tchotchke set,
I don't care what you take.
Just GET!

Get yourself out of this room.
Blow yourself up in a kaboom.
Clutter, Clutter, Clutter!
Don't make my house a tomb!

Nasty Clutter Monster!
I don't care HOW.
Recycled, trashed, compost,
donated, please GO NOW!

I said GO and GO I meant.
The time had come.
Clutter WENT.

Today is:

Atomic Bomb Day

Benediction of the Sea, Brittany Coast, France

Clipping the Church Day, Yorkshire, England

Crop Day

Damn the Torpedoes, Full Speed Ahead Day

Grotto Day

Joust of the Quintana, Italy

International Beer Day

Lailat al Bara'ah * - Islam (Night of worship and salvation.)

National Failures Day

National Mustard Day

National Blackmail Day

National Underwear Day

National Waffle Day

Oyster Day
(Does this mean that failures should lie around in their underwear, drink beer, and eat waffles, mustard, and oysters, thinking of whom to blackmail?)

Pixie of the Year Competition, Fairy Calendar

Raksha Bandhan ** - Hindu (Celebration of the bonds between brothers and sisters -- I don't know about you, but in my house brothers and sisters celebrate their "bonds" by trying to put each other in them!)

St. Afra's Day

St. James' Day

St. Oswald's Day

Work Like a Dog Day

Birthdays Today:

Maureen McCormick, 1956
Loni Anderson, 1946
Neil Armstrong, 1930
John Huston, 1906
Guy de Maupassant, 1850
Joseph Merrick, 1862

Today in History

The last outpost of Bar Kockba, Betar, falls to Rome, 135
King Edward and Earl Aetherlred, leading the allied forces of Mercia and Wessex, defeat the last major Viking army to raid England at the Battle of Tettenhall, 642
Anti-Jewish riots in Arnstadt, Germany, 1264
US Army abolishes flogging, 1861
Debut of the comic strip "Little Orphan Annie", by Harold Gray, 1924
Debut of the comic strip "Andy Capp", by Smythe, 1957

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