For sheer entertainment purposed, who needs TV when you have kids?
Bigger Girl to Little Girl, as her sister was next to the cabinet and she was further away:
"Could you pass me a cup?"
"What's the magic word?" Little Girl responded.
"Well, actually, today the magic word is 'shampoo', but that'll do."
Sweetie, looking at the calendar, on which i mark family birthdays, among other things:
"Wasn't Bigger Girl actually scheduled for C-section on your brother's birthday?"
As if i haven't answered that dozens of times for him, i told him yes, but she decided to come early.
Overhearing, Bigger Girl said, "Mom, I did not come early! YOU just didn't get my memo!"
#2 Son walks in and says, "Hey, mom, guess what happened to Festus!"
Knowing his friend Festus, it could have been anything, so i simply asked what.
"Well, you know how he has that fro?"
As if anyone could miss it; biggest fro on a white kid i've ever seen. It terrifies small children, trust me.
"He was walking down the street, and a bee got into his hair and got tangled up in it, on the outer edge. And he didn't do anything about it, he just kept walking, and finally the bee untangled itself and flew off. His fro is bee proof!"
Something his parents are very proud of, i'm sure.
Big Wind Day -- anniversary of the strongest natural wind ever recorded on the earth's surfact, at Mount Washington, NH, US; the wind gusts reached 231 mph
Cosmonaut's Day -- Russia (Commemoration of first human in space by Yuri Gagarin)
D.E.A.R. Day (a/k/a Drop Everything And Read) -- sponsored by the ALA
Eat All Your Snacks Before the Movie Even Starts Day -- with all the ads before the movie, doesn't that happen anyway?
Festival of Cerealia begins -- Ancient Roman Calendar
French Quarter Festival -- New Orleans, Louisiana, US (celebrate all that makes the Vieux Carre special, through the 15th)
Global Day of Action on Military Spending -- sponsored by by the International Peace Bureau (IPB) and the Institute for Policy Studies (IPS)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich Day
Halifax Day -- North Carolina, US
International Day of Human Space Flight -- UN
International Day for Street Children
National Licorice Day
Sinhala & Tamil New Year's Eve -- Sri Lanka
St. Sabas' Day (Patron of Lectors, torture victims)
St. Zeno's Day (Patron of anglers, children learning to speak, children learning to walk, fishermen, newborn babies; city and diocese of Verona, Italy)
Thingyan -- Myanmar (Burmese Water Festival)
Walk on Your Wild Side Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays, a day in which to do something no one would expect from you
Yuri's Night -- International (Commemoration of first human in space by Yuri Gagarin)
Riley Smith, 1982
Claire Danes, 1979
Nicholas Brendon, 1971
Shannen Doherty, 1971
Nick Hexum, 1970
Art Alexakis, 1962
vince Gill, 1957
Andy Garcia, 1956
David Cassidy, 1950
Tom Clancy, 1947
David Letterman, 1947
Ed O'Neill, 1946
Herbie Hancock, 1940
Dennis Banks, 1937
Tiny Tim, 1930
Ann Miller, 1923
Beverly Cleary, 1916
Mahavira, the 24th Tirthankara of Jainism, BC599
Today in History:
Constantinople falls to the Fourth Crusade, temporarily ending the Byzantine Empire, 1204
The formal inquest of Galileo by the Inquisition begins, 1633
The first edition of Tatler Magazine is published in London, 1709
The American Civil War begins at Fort Sumter, South Carolina, 1861
George C Blickensderfer patents a portable typewriter, 1892
Pierre Prier makes the first nonstop flight from London to Paris, in 3h 56m, 1911
Sir Frank Whittle ground-tests the first jet engine designed to power an aircraft, at Rugby, England, 1937
The strongest surface wind gust ever measured, 231 mph, at Mount Washington, New Hampshire, 1943
The Salk vaccine is declared safe and effective, 1955
Yuri Gagarin becomes the first human to travel into outer space, 1961
Samuel Doe takes over Liberia in a coup d'etat, ending 130 years of peaceful and democratic presidential successions, 1980
The first launch of a space shuttle, the Colombia, 1981
The Euro Disney Resort officially opens (now Disneyland Paris), 1992
Canter & Siegel post the first commercial mass Usenet spam, 1994
Zimbabwe officially abandons the Zimbabwe Dollar as their currency, 2009
Pizza! Yummy! July 20, 2018
56 minutes ago