Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Of Horses and Humor

"Well, mom, i've found out just how used to their living conditions our horses are."  Bigger Girl had just gotten in from work.

What happened this time? i asked.

"We had borrowed a stallion from another research area, because the researchers wanted to be using some fresh stock for trying to predict genetic traits, and the plan was to allow them to mate naturally, but the mare wouldn't cooperate.  So we opened the gate, and Badger didn't even need to be led in.  He ran across the field, came in, she moved her tail, they mated, and he turned around and ran right back into his pasture.  It all took less than a couple of minutes.  Those horses are just too much into a routine!"

Sounds like it, although it's obviously one they like, i noted drily.

"Oh, and someone brought a cake!" she continued.

Who?

"We don't know.  It was in the break room, and it sat there all day, totally untouched.  No one I talked to knew who brought it, so we didn't want to touch it, although I really wanted to take one of the Oreos off the top.  Anyway, as the day went by, and everyone walked around it and ignored it, I started thinking 'The cake is a lie!'  You know, like in the movie Portal, where the computer promises cake but it's a lie."

So now you don't know if the Oreos were even there, do you?

"Nope.  But mom, I've decided I want to find the ultimate joke that will end crime and injustice and bring about world peace.  Think about it, World Peace Through Humor!"

Let me know when you find it, i told her.

Meanwhile, a funny sign that might not bring about world peace, but may make you smile.  This past Good Friday, a local Catholic Church had a sign outside that said, "He is Risen!  No Bingo Tonight."


Today is

Birthday of Emperor Haili Selassi I -- Rastafari

Flag Day -- Abkhazia

Gorgeous Grandma Day -- a day to celebrate those who age, date, and mate in style!

Hot Enough For Ya Day -- sponsored by Wellcat Holidays as the only day on which you may utter these words; any other day, and you will get high fived on the back of the head! ;)

Hurricane Supplication Day -- US Virgin Islands

Mayan Sun Festival -- honoring Ahau Kin, the sun god, date approximate

National Vanilla Ice Cream Day

Neptunalia and Salcia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (god and goddess of the ocean and wide seas, celebrates Neptune in his role as god of irrigation)

Private Eye Day -- internet generated

Remembrance Day -- Papua New Guinea

Renaissance Day -- Oman (celebrates the accession of Qaboos bin Said Al Said, 14th Sultan of Oman)

Revolution Day -- Egypt

St. Apollinaris' Day (Patron against epilepsy, gout; of Aachen, Germany; Burtscheid, Germany; Düsseldorf, Germany; Ravenna, Italy; Remagen, Germany)

St. Bridget of Sweden's Day (Patron of widows; Europe; Sweden)

St. Phocas the Gardener's Day (Patron of agricultural workers, boatmen, farm workers, farmers, field hands, gardeners, husbandmen, mariners, market-gardeners,sailors, watermen)

Warei Shrine Summer Festival -- Warei Shrine, Uwajima City, Japan (through tomorrow, includes "bull-sumo", a non fatal type of bull fighting, where the bulls try to push each other out of the ring)


Anniversaries Today

Prince Andrew, Duke of York marries Sarah Ferguson, 1986
Coronation of King Mohammed VI of Morocco, 1999


Birthdays Today

Daniel Radcliffe, 1989
Michelle Williams, 1980
Nomar Garciapara, 1973
Marlon Wayans, 1972
Charisma Carpenter, 1970
Philip Seymour Hoffman, 1967
Woody Harrelson, 1961
Lamont "ShowBoat" Robinson, 1961
Don Imus, 1940
Don Drysdale, 1936
Bert Convy, 1933
Amalia Rodrigues, 1920
Harold "Pee Wee" Reese, 1918
Arthur Treacher, 1894
Haile Selassie I, 1892
Raymond Chandler, 1888


Today in History

William Austin Burt patents the Typographer, a precursor to the typewriter, 1829
The Province of Canada is created by the Act of Union, 1840
The Federation Internationale de Gymnastique, the world's oldest international sport federation, is founded, 1881
The Ford Motor Company sells its first car, 1903
Fox Film buys the patents of the Movietone sound system for recording sound onto film, 1926
Telstar  relays the first publicly transmitted, live trans-Atlantic television program, featuring Walter Cronkite, 1962
The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling within 4 years, 1982 *
Air Canada Flight 143 runs out of fuel and makes a deadstick landing at Gimli, Manitoba, 1983
Comet Hale-Bopp is discovered, 1995
Cape Verde becomes the 153rd member of the World Trade Organization, 2008

*Don't I wish that had worked!

3 comments:

  1. Two minutes? Two whole minutes. Bwahahahahahahaha.

    I got stuck on the cake. I want some too.

    Have a terrific day. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sandee, it made me laugh, too. If you go by there, i'm sure no one would object to you having a piece.

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  3. I wonder if the person who brought the cake was kicking himself for not including an "enjoy!" sign. I wonder if the stallion was kicking himself for only lasting 2 minutes. ;)

    ReplyDelete