Yesterday was busy, so today, a couple of jokes (while i'm off teaching Sunday school). (And yes, i'm always a little bit off, but that's beside the point.)
All the high school football coaches in Louisiana have a conference once a year, and no one wants to have to share a room at the hotel with Coach Boudreaux from Breaux Bridge, because he snores so bad. Since none of them can afford to pay for a separate room, they have to take turns.
The first night, it was Coach Arceneaux from Mamou's turn. The next day, he come down to breakfast with bags under his eyes and looking awful, and he say, "Oh, man, that Coach Boudreaux! He snore so bad, ya! I din't get no wink o' sleep, I was up all night watching him!"
That night, it was Coach Thibodeaux from Iota's turn. Man, the next morning, he looked even worse than Coach Arceneaux had, and he say, "Oh, I hope I don' ever have to sleep wit' dat Coach Boudreaux again! I din't sleep at all, I was up all night watching him!"
Then it was Coach Gautreaux from Ville Platte's turn. The next morning, he comes down looking fresh as a daisy. Everyone axed him, "What happen? Din't you have to sleep in the room wit' Coach Boudreaux?"
And Coach Gautreaux he say, "Yes, and so I tucked him in bed real nice, and kiss him goodnight on the cheek, and he spent all night watching me!"
Boudreaux, Thibodeaux, and Gauthier used to get together every month and go to the pool hall and play for the prizes. None of them ever won until one night when all three won a prize -- Gauthier won a big ol' pot of gumbo donated by that new restaurant down the street, Thibodeaux won two nights at the Red Roof Inn in Lafayette and tickets for two to the local bar to see the Mamou Playboys perform, and Boudreaux, he won a toilet brush.
The next month, on the way to the pool hall, they compared how they had liked the prizes they had finally won after so long playing pool there.
Gauthier say, "Oh, man, me an' my wife, we done love that gumbo! It was so good, and dere was so much, it las' us t'ree days, we don' have to cook!"
An' Thibodeaux, he say, "Well, let me done tol' you, dat Red Roof Inn is top! Oh, it is plush! An' dem Mamou Playboys, dey is so good, you would t'ink dey is from Ville Platte!"
Den Boudreaux, he say, "Well, I like me de toilet brush okay, but I t'ink I'm gone go back to using paper."
Anniversary of the Fall of Fascism -- San Marino
Day of Commemoration of the Great Upheaval a/k/a Expulsion of the Acadians Day -- Canada
Festival of Domhnach Chrom Dubh -- Ireland (Black Crom's Sunday, associated with the god Lugh and connected to the festival of Lammas; also connected to John Barleycorn, the personification of the grain, who is killed by being harvested at this time; many honor St. Patrick's Fast by making a pilgrimage to Croagh Patrick, where he fasted until he overcame the pagan deity Crom Cruach [Crom of the Reek])
Festival of Hedjihotep -- Ancient Egyptian Calendar (goddess of weaving; date approximate)
Geneva Arts Fair -- Geneva, IL, US (a juried event that is becoming one of the top such events in the US; through tomorrow)
Heyannir month commences -- Icelandic Calendar (Harvest Month, literally translates "Hay Working")
Imp-Handling Conference -- Fairy Calendar
Independence Day -- Peru(1821)
International Bog Day
Liberation Day / Anniversary of the Fall of Fascism -- San Marino
Mi'kmaq Pilgrimage to St. Ann Mission -- Mi'kmaq First Nations of Canada and Maine
Nagasaki Peiron Senshuken -- Nagasaki, Japan (two day dragon boat racing festival begun in the 17th century)
National Milk Chocolate Day
National Tree Day -- Australia
Olavsokuaftan (Olavsoka Eve) and the Olai Festival -- Faroe Islands (St. Olav's Eve, the night before the opening of Parliament and the festival of St. Olav; through tomorrow)
Parent's Day -- US
Procession of the Penitents -- Veurne, Belgium (passion play dating back to the 15th century)
Ranggeln -- Mt. Hundstein, Germany (traditional form of wresting, called ranggeln, in honor of St. Jacob's Day [which most celebrate on July 25]; this particular festival harks back to the pre-Christian Lughnasadh celebrations, which went through Aug. 1 and contained athletic events)
Soma-Nomaoi -- Haramachi City, Fukushima Prefecture, Japan (three day wild horse chase which recreates a battle from over 1,000 years ago)
St. Arduinus of Trepino's Day (Patron of Trepino, Italy)
Terry Fox Day -- born in Winnipeg on this date in 1958, he raised $24 million for cancer research by running over 3,000 miles on an artificial leg before his death in 1981 at age 23
Valencia Fair Battle of the Flowers -- Valencia, spain (conclusion and highlight of the Valencia Fair, with a parade and thousands of carnations thrown from floats, making a magical carpet of petals for all to enjoy)
World Hepatitis Day -- International
Henry VIII marries Catherine Howard, 1540
The first Singing Telegram is delivered, 1933
Hugo Chavez, 1954
Sally Struthers, 1948
Jim Davis, 1945
Rick Wright, 1945
Bill Bradley, 1943
Phil Proctor, 1040
Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis, 1929
Earl Tupper, 1907
Rudy Vallee, 1901
Joe E. Brown, 1892
Beatrix Potter, 1866
Today in History
Thomas Cromwell is executed at the order of Henry VIII of England on charges of treason, 1540
Bermuda is first settled by Europeans, survivors of the English ship Sea Venture en route to Virginia, 1609
Maximilien Robespierre is executed by guillotine in Paris during the French Revolution, 1794
Welsh settlers arrive at Chubut in Argentina, 1865
The 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States, guaranteeing due process and establishing citizenship for African Americans is certified, 1868
First flight of the Boeing B-17 Flying Fortress, 1935
The Metropolitan Police Flying Squad foils a bullion robbery in the "Battle of London Airport", 1948
The Tangshan earthquake measuring between 7.8 and 8.2 moment magnitude flattens Tangshan, the People's Republic of China, killing 242,769 and injuring 164,851, 1976
Andorra joins the United Nations, 1993
Australian Ian Thorpe becomes the first swimmer to win six gold medals at a single World Championships, 2001
The Provisional Irish Republican Army calls an end to its thirty year long armed campaign in Northern Ireland, 2005
If I Got Paid
1 hour ago