Finding Tums and Un-Rite-ing a Wrong, a Random and Happy Tuesday Word Counter's Post

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It's time once again for a random and happy Tuesday, linking up with Stacy's Random Thoughts at Stacy Uncorked and Sandee at Comedy Plus.  

"I can't find my Tums!" Carl told me yesterday.  

It's a wonder any of us can find anything.

I had arrived just in time to tie his apron on him before he went to go have breakfast.  He wanted me to get his stuff ready for him, gloves, badge, raincoat, etc., but the Tums didn't turn up until over an hour later.

Oh, and the raincoat?

Behind the TV, of course, with his safety vest.  Isn't that where everyone keeps a raincoat?

He must have had quite a week.  He'd somehow lost the handle on the kitchen sink.

It's a good thing i don't turn on his disposal without checking.

He'd worn, or at least pulled out, almost every item of his work clothes and most of the 30+ pairs of socks in the drawer.  When the weather is going from hot to cold and back again, as it is now, he can't decide what to do so he does everything all at once.

He was especially hard to get out the door yesterday.  I told him to "git!" and thought he had, then i found him back in the living room plugging in his iPad.  Getting him to the door again, i thought we were home free when he popped back in and said, "My phone!"  It was on a shelf, he found it and finally went.

The remainder of today’s post is part of a writing challenge. This is how it works: one of the contributing bloggers picked a number between 12 and 50. The submitted number is a challenge to participating bloggers to write at least one piece using that exact number of words. 

This month, the word count number is: 42

It was submitted by:  Diane at On the Border

Links to the other Word Counters posts:

Baking In A Tornado                    

On the Border                                  

I'm finally going to write up some of the funny, quirky and crazy things Bigger Girl said to me in her conversations while she was home for Christmas, and i'll try to do it 42 words at a time.  Wish me luck.

"Mom, have you ever noticed how polite pangolins look?  I mean really, they look like the well-behaved kid who is about to ask for $5 to spend at the Scholastic Book Fair!  How do they do that with all those scales?"

"We need to come up with an alternative to war."

Got any suggestions? i asked.

"It would need to be something no one could cheat at, easy for everyone and totally fair.  I know!  How about seven rounds of rock/paper/scissors!"

"Ouch!"

What happened?

"I hit my funny bone!"

That is an ouch, how did you do it?

"I was taking off the blindfold."

Why were you wearing a blindfold?

"Because I was playing the piano, of course!"

Of course, i should've known.

"Mom, I have a great idea for what to do with deceased family members.  Have them cremated and put in an hourglass minute timer.  Then you use them for game night with the family and it's just like still having them there!"

"Can you believe one storm name list has the name 'Nana'?  No one is gonna evacuate for a hurricane called 'Nana,' they'll expect her to bake cookies.  They need to name them something like 'Chainsaw Death Massacre,' that'll get people to leave!"

"Every time I see Smokey the Bear, I want to say, 'Mr. the Bear,' ('cause I think 'Smokey' is his first name and 'the Bear' is his last name), you do realize you go to work without a shirt on, that's unprofessional!"

"My friend Frida was baptized into a cult she joined, and they traumatized her and she got out, and we're planning a ritual to undo her baptism as soon as we all get back."

How do you undo a baptism?

"Hair dryer!"

In honor of the hair dryer un-baptizing, a few funnies.

Have a blessed and beautiful Tuesday, everyone!

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Today is:

Apple Wassailing Day -- Carhampton, England (ancient tradition to bless the trees, waking the tree spirits and scaring away bad spirits)

Blessing of the Animals -- Hispanic Christian (in association with St. Anthony's Day)

Ditch Your New Years Resolutions Day -- no info on origin, but probably someone who gave up; will you?

Felicitas -- Ancient Roman Calendar (honoring the goddess of good luck)

Festival of Janus -- Ancient Roman Calendar (main festival for the god of beginnings, endings, and doorways)

Hot Heads Chili Day -- no clue what this one means, but i guess we can have chili for dinner

Kid Inventors' Day -- celebrating how inventive kids are; on the birth anniversary of Ben Franklin, who invented swim fins at age 12

Liberation Day -- Poland (liberation from the Nazis in 1945)

Make Your All-Time Top Ten Favorite TV Characters List -- because nothing says you can't make your own top ten lists

National Hot Buttered Rum Day

Patras Carnival -- Patras, Greece (the town crier announces the opening ceremony, with festivities through Clean Monday)

Patrice Lumumba -- Democratic Republic of the Congo (Heroes' Day)

Popeye Day -- The Sailor Man debut in the comics this date in 1929

Professional Boxer's Day -- Ali's birth anniversary

Rid The World of Fad Diets and Gimmicks Day -- always the Tuesday of Women's Healthy Weight Week

St. Anthony the Great's Day (a/k/a Anthony of Egypt, Anthony the Abbot, Patriarch of the Abbots; Patron of amputees, animals/domestic animals, basket weavers, brush makers, butchers, cemetary workers/grave diggers, epileptics, hermits, monks, relief from pestilence, swine/hogs, swineherds; Hospitaliers; Burgio, Sicily, Italy; Canas, Brazil; Castrofilippo, Agrigento, Italy; Fivizzano, Italy; Fontainemore, Italy; Mook, Netherlands; Sant'Angelo Lodigiano, Italy; against eczema, epilepsy, ergotism, erysipelas, pestilence, Saint Anthony's Fire, skin diseases and rashes) related observance

     Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral -- Church of San Antonio, Mexico City, Mexico (where this saint is San Antonio Abad)

Zirgu Diena -- Ancient Latvian Calendar (Day of the Horses)

Anniversaries Today:

George Burns marries Gracie Allen, 1926

Octavian marries Livia Drusilla, BC38

Birthdays Today:

Kid Rock, 1971

Naveen Andrews, 1969

Michelle Obama, 1964

Jim Carrey, 1962

Susanna Hoffs, 1959

Anthony Glise, 1956

Andy Kaufman, 1949

Muhammad Ali, 1942

Maury Povich, 1939

Shari Lewis, 1934

James Earl Jones, 1931

Don Zimmer, 1931

Vidal Sassoon, 1928

Eartha Kitt, 1927

Betty White, 1922

Al Capone, 1899

Nevil Shute, 1899

Robert Maynard Hutchins, 1899

Mack Sennett, 1884

David Lloyd George, 1863

Anton Chekhov, 1860

Anne Bronte, 1820

Benjamin Franklin, 1706

Debuting/Premiering Today:

"Frontline"(TV), 1983

"The Goldbergs"(TV), 1949

"Popeye the Sailor Man"(Comic character created by Elzie Segar, in the Thimble Theatre comic strip), 1929

"The Cherry Orchard"(Chekhov Play), 1904

"The Rivals"(Sheridan Play), 1775

Today in History:

Pope Gregory XI moves the Papacy back to Rome from Avignon, 1377

Cesare Borgia returns in triumph to Rome from Romagna, 1501

Giovanni da Verrazzano begins his voyage to find a passage to China, 1524

The Edict of St Germain recognizes Huguenots in France, 1562

England's Long Parliament passes the Vote of No Addresses, breaking off negotiations with King Charles I and thereby setting the scene for the second phase of the English Civil War, 1648

An avalanche destroys every building in Leukerbad, Switzerland, kills 53, 1718

Capt James Cook becomes the first to cross Antarctic Circle (66° 33' S), 1773

The first cable car patented, by Andrew S Hallidie (begins service in 1873), 1871

Queen Liliuokalani is deposed, the Kingdom of Hawaii becomes a republic, 1893

Sir Robert Falcon Scott reaches the South Pole, one month after Roald Amundsen, 1912

The first fully automatic photographic film developing machine patented, 1928

Swedish diplomat Raoul Wallenberg, credited with saving tens of thousands of Jews from the Nazis, is arrested by secret police in Hungary, 1945

The United Nations Security Council holds its first meeting, 1946

The Goldbergs, the first sitcom on American television, first airs, 1949

The Great Brinks Robbery - 11 thieves steal more than $2 million from an armored car Company's offices in Boston, Massachusetts, 1950

The world's first nuclear-powered submarine, the Nautilus, makes its maiden voyage, 1955

A B-52 bomber collides with a KC-135 Stratotanker over Spain, dropping three 70-kiloton nuclear bombs near the town of Palomares and another one into the sea in the Palomares incident, 1966

Harald V becomes King of Norway on the death of his father, Olav V, 1991

The Czech Republic applies for membership of the European Union, 1996

Mount Nyiragongo erupts in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, displacing an estimated 400,000 people, 2002

Rioting begins between Muslim and Christian groups in Jos, Nigeria, which resulting in at least 200 deaths, 2010

Japan unveils plans to build the world’s largest wind farm near the Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant, 2013

Academics report that a pelvis bone discovered in 1999 may belong to King Alfred the Great or his son, Edward the Elder, 2014