Thursday, April 22, 2010


My phone rang at co-op, and I reached for it slowly, thinking Sweetie was calling to ask for a phone number or some such. So often he calls when I am not home and just can't help him, and it frustrates us both.

It was the house phone, though, so there must be some problem. I steeled myself and answered.

"Hey, mom, I'm scared!" It was #2 Son, and he did sound panicked, which was unusual. My mind raced, wishing he would hurry with the details. I was imagining a dying kitten or some blood or broken bones somewhere.

"What is it, son?" I'm sounding calm, but thinking, please don't let this be something that I have to race all the way back home for.

"Mom, I'm scared! There are cops everywhere! They are doing another bust on the drug dealer up the street," he said.

Is that all? What a shame, the world has come to this, that the SWAT team hits my street and it doesn't even phase me. And this is one of the nicest neighborhoods in the city, with home values that haven't even hiccuped in the economy.

"Son, just stay inside, keep the door locked, and don't worry about it. They aren't going to be coming near our house."

"But mom, I'm scared!" He actually sounded more excited than scared, and his next words proved that I was right about that. "Be sure to tell Little Girl, okay?"

There it was, he wanted to hold it over her head that he got to see it go down, and she didn't.

I told him again to stay in the house with the door locked, and hung up. I mentioned the conversation to a couple of the other moms who live in my neighborhood, and Stacie told us about her misadventure from several years before that ended with police in her driveway.

It seems that she and her husband had just moved in, and her 4 year old was having an asthma attack. The child was turning blue and screaming in panic because he couldn't breathe. The 10-month-old was screaming because the 4-year-old was screaming.

She called the neighbor to see if he could watch the baby while she took the older one to the emergency room. He agreed, and she walked out of the back door of the house to meet him, forgetting that in this new house, she had an alarm system. So, add the cacophony of the alarm going off.

Meanwhile, the neighbor's dog came running out when he came out to meet her. The dog went into her house and started fighting with her much smaller dog. The alarm company called.

So now she is trying to calm the children, separate the dogs, and talk on the phone while readying another dose of steroid for the child to keep him breathing until they can get to the ER.

The alarm company person hears two children screaming, the dogs barking and growling, Stacie yelling at the bigger dog, "Don't kill her!" the neighbor yelling at his dog while trying to separate them, and Stacie is trying to convince this person that nothing is happening.

Seven squad cars that had been on a call nearby pulled in.

A typical mommy day.

In honor of national humor month:

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself 'Lillian,you should have remained a virgin.'
~ Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
~ Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
~ George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
~ Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
~ Mark Twain

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
~ Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
~ Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
~ Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
~ Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
~ Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
~ Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
~ Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
~ Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
~ W.C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
~ Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . As you grow older, it will avoid you.
~ Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
~ Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
~ Billy Crystal

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.

Today is

Buccaneer Days Celebration, Corpus Christi, Texas -- through May 2

Chemists Celebrate The Earth Day

Earth Day

Girl Scout Leader Day

National Jelly Bean Day

Queen Isabella Day, Spain

Sniff-the-Breeze Day, Egypt

St. Alexander's Day

Take Our Daughters & Sons To Work Day

Birthdays Today:

Daniel Johns, 1979
Kim Elizabeth, 1978
Peter Frampton, 1950
John Waters, 1946
Jack Nicholson, 1937
Glen Campbell, 1936
Aaron Spelling, 1928
Yehudi Menuhin, 1916
Eddie Albert, 1906
Sergei Sergeyevich Prokofiev, 1891
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin, 1870
Immanuel Kant, 1724
Queen Isabella, 1451

Today in History:

Portuguese navigator Pedro Cabral becomes the first European to sight Brazil, 1500
President George Washington attends a performance of Rickett's, the first circus in the US, 1793
Thomas Stevens sets out from San Francisco on the first round the world journey by bicycle, 1884
The Oklahoma land rush begins at noon; thousands rush to claim land, and the towns of Oklahoma City and Guthrie are formed within hours with populations of over 10,000 each, 1889
Pravda begins publication in St. Petersburg, 1912
The Germans begin using poison chlorine gas as a chemical weapon, 1915
The first Earth Day is celebrated, 1970
The Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, D.C. is dedicated, 1993
Four Canadian soldiers are killed 75 kilometers north of Kandahar, Afghanistan by a roadside bomb planted by Taliban militants, the worst single day combat loss for the Canadian army since the Korean War, 2006

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