Ten minutes before we were supposed to leave for co-op, Little Girl asks, "Mom, do you have a plain white t-shirt for me? I have to wear it for the performance today."

I would say that I should have stuck with goldfish over kids, but from what I understand there are different types of goldfish, and they need different care and sizes of aquariums and keeping them is a specialty all its own.

In honor of national humor month

Did you ever wonder

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?


Today is

Babe Ruth Day

Constitution Day, Yugoslavia

Floralia -- Ancient Roman Calendar (festival to Flora, goddess of flowers and vegetation, through May 3)

Freedom Day, South Africa

Independence Day, in Togo and Sierra Leone

Matanzas Mule Day

Meenkankshi Kalyanam, India (Hindu celebration of the marriage of the goddess Meenkanshi and Lord Shiva, and therefore of all Hindu marriages)

Morse Code Day

National D.J. Day

National Prime Rib Day

National Teach Your Children To Save Day

Sleep Day

St. Zita's Day (patron of housemaids, finding lost keys)

Tell a Story Day

Veterans Day, Finland

Write An Old Friend Today Day


Anniversaries Today:

Cornell University is established as New York's land grant institution, 1865


Birthdays Today:

Patrick Stump, 1984
Sheena Easton, 1959
Ace Frehley, 1951
Cuba Gooding, Sr., 1944
Earl Anthony, 1938
Sandy Dennis, 1937
Anouk Aimee, 1932
Casey Kasem, 1932
Coretta Scott King, 1927
Jack Klugman, 1922
Sergei Prokofiev, 1891
Ulysses S. Grant, 1822
Samuel Morse, 1791
Mary Wollstonecraft, 1759
Suleiman the Magnificent, 1495


Today in History:

Ferdinand Magellan is killed by natives in the Philippines led by chief Lapu-Lapu, 1521
Re-founding of the city of Bogotá, New Granada (now Colombia), by Nikolaus Federmann and Sebastián de Belalcázar, 1539
Cebu is established as the first Spanish settlement in the Philippines, 1565
The blind and impoverished, John Milton sells the copyright of Paradise Lost for £10, 1667
The British Parliament passes the Tea Act, 1773
Beethoven composes Für Elise, 1810
US troops capture the capital of Upper Canada, York (present day Toronto, Canada), 1813
The Foundation stone for new Palace of Westminster, London, is laid, 1840
The establishment of Jewish congregations in Lower Austria is prohibited, 1857
In South Africa, the Group Areas Act is passed formally segregating races, 1950
Togo gains independence from French-administered UN trusteeship, 1960
Sierra Leone is granted its independence from the United Kingdom, 1961
Expo 67 officially opens in Montreal, Canada, 1967
Xerox PARC introduces the computer mouse, 1981