Sunday, April 18, 2010

Why I Hate These Lights

I have decided that I was an idiot to let them talk me into the long tube fluorescent light fixtures.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't quit growing when I was 12 years old. Climbing up to pry the covers off of those things, and they never come off easily, twisting the tube just so to get it out, setting it down without breaking it, grabbing the new one from wherever it is balanced to be within "easy" reach, twisting and straining to get the new one in, jamming the cover back on -- all while perched on a flimsy small stepladder while straining to reach. What's not to love?

This last time, for the first time, I fell. It was inevitable, actually. I have two small stepladders, the smaller is steadier, but makes it harder to reach. I used the taller. I managed to grab the bookcase that is attached to the wall as I fell, so it made me able to do more of a step down from a really high perch. I landed on my laundry sorting bin, breaking a part of it the kids hadn't managed to break yet.

I was essentially in the dark, too. I had been putting it off until several bulbs needed to be done. So once I managed to get up off of what will undoubtedly be a very sore and bruised bottom, I hiked my jeans and looked at the most sore place on my leg. There was blood, but in the dark it didn't seem too bad. I climbed back up and changed the bulb. Moved the ladder, did the second fixture.

Then I really looked, to see why my leg hurt that much. The swelling is not a pretty sight. I am limping. The bleeding was minimal because the swelling itself was applying the pressure.

The third fixture will wait. Ice, elevation, and antibiotic salve on a band aid is the order of the day.

In honor of national humor month:

Games for Aging Baby Boomers:

Sag, You're It!

Hide and Go Pee

20 Questions Shouted Into Your Good Ear

Kick the Bucked

Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

Musical Recliners

Simon Says Something Incoherent

Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

Today is

Adult Autism Day (I know the poster child!)

Independence Day, Zimbabwe & Chile

International Juggler's Day - also applies to multitasking office workers

Look-Alike Day

National Animal Cracker Day

National CPA's Goof Off Day (they deserve to!)

Newspaper Columnists Day

Riding of the Bounds, Berwick-upon-Tweed, Casey, England

St. Aya's Day (patron against lawsuits)

Third World Day, US

World Amateur Radio Day

Anniversaries Today:

The University of Alabama is founded, 1831

Birthdays Today:

America Ferrara, 1984
Melissa Joan Hart, 1976
Maria Bello, 1967
Conan O'Brien, 1963
Eric Roberts, 1956
James Woods, 1947
Hayley Mills, 1946
Leopold Stokowski, 1882
Clarence Darrow, 1857
Lucrezia Borgia, 1480

Today in History:

Boleslaw Chrobry is crowned the first king of Poland, 1025
The cornerstone of the current St. Peter's Basilica is laid, 1506
The Real Academia de la Historia (Royal Academy of History) is founded in Madrid, 1738
The British advancement by sea begins; Paul Revere and William Dawes, upon seeing two lanterns in the church steeple, set out to warn that "The British are coming!" 1775
Fighting ceases in the American Revolutionary War, eight years to the day after it began, 1783
Billy the Kid escapes from the Lincoln County jail in Mesilla, New Mexico, 1881
The St. Andrew's Ambulance Association is granted a Royal Charter by Queen Victoria, 1899
Denmark becomes the first country to formally adopt fingerprinting to identify criminals, 1902
Quetzaltenango, second largest city of Guatemala, is destroyed by an earthquake, 1902
The Great San Francisco Earthquake, 1906
The RMS Carpathia brings the Titanic survivors to NYC, 1912
The Los Angeles Times story on the Azusa Street Revival launches Pentecostalism as a worldwide movement, 1906
"The House that Ruth Built," Yankee Stadium, opens, 1923
Simon and Schuster publishes the first crossword puzzle book, 1924
The first "washateria" (laundromat) opens, in Ft. Worth, Texas, 1934
The League of Nations is formally dissolved, 1949
A United States federal court rules that poet Ezra Pound is to be released from an insane asylum, 1958
The Republic of Zimbabwe is officially established with the swearing in of Canaan Banana as its first President, 1980

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