Thursday, April 29, 2010

ER is Bad for My Karma

I got a call to contact someone with more kittens, and never made the contact. At that moment, #2 Son came running in to say that his little sister thought her arm was broken.

Next thing I know, Little Girl comes in, crying in the way that lets a mom know it is real pain this time. She is nursing her left arm (and, of course, she is left handed), and saying the pain is above the elbow.

I asked what happened, and was told that #2 Son had used their homeschool recess to rebuild his bike ramp and convince his sister to try it. The first couple of times, she did fine. Then, the handlebars literally folded forward that last time, throwing her.

I grabbed my "brain," the bag in which I keep medical cards, my calendar, bills, the checkbook, and everything else I might need quickly, and ran out the door to see my good ice chest being used for the rebuilt ramp. I told the boy to put it away, feed the kittens through the afternoon, and stay out of more trouble. Then I buckled Little Girl into the van.

The trip to the ER was torture. Every light turned red just as we got to it, prolonging the trip by a good 10 minutes. Every bump brought new cries. The ER parking lot was full, so I pulled up and got her out at the door, telling the security guard I would be back to move my car. No one is supposed to be in that lot unless they are there with a patient in the ER, but it is closer than the parking lots on the other side of the building, so people pack it out anyway.

Once inside, I was sent to a desk that had no one there. A sign said to just fill out a form, and by the time I finished the lady was there, guiding us to triage.

Thus began 5 1/2 hours in the ER, most of it spent listening to babies screaming, which tore my heart.

They determined pretty quickly that it was probably not dislocated, and it wasn't the collarbone. Then it was time for a morphine IV so that her stomach would stay empty in case of surgery. It sounds great, but the morphine really just made her a tiny bit loopy and didn't do much for the pain.

X-rays, which also hurt because of having to move the arm to get the angles right, showed the bone is broken just below the shoulder joint. The break missed the growth plate, the bone has not shifted so she shouldn't need surgery, and the doctor who looked at it there cannot follow up because we have the wrong insurance. Tomorrow I call a different doctor who will make certain she doesn't need anything more than a sling and immobilization.

The meds they sent her home with have done much more for the pain than the morphine did, and she is on the couch for the night.

She spent most of the time in the ER upset because everything there takes so long. She also was not happy that they made her let me go in with her to the restroom. After all, she will be 12 in two days, it's horrible to have your mom in there with you.

This whole thing just proves what I have said to the kids for years. Don't do anything that will land you in the ER, it is bad for my karma.

In honor of national humor month

Thing My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Today is

Cheng Cheng Kung Landing Day, Taiwan

Feast of the Secret Masters

Greenery Day

Milk-Curdling Sunday -- Fairy Calendar, Gremlins, and not always on a Sunday

Moment of Laughter Day

National Dance Day

National Shrimp Scampi Day

Ninth Day of Ridvan -- Baha'i

Poem In Your Pocket Day

St. Catherine of Siena's Day (patron of Italy; against fire)

Anniversaries Today:

Princess Irene marries Prince Carel Hugo de Bourbon Parma, 1964

Birthdays Today:

Andre Agassi, 1970
Uma Thurman, 1970
Michelle Pfeiffer, 1958
Daniel Day-Lewis, 1957
Kate Mulgrew, 1955
Jerry Seinfeld, 1954
Dale Earnhardt, 1951
Johnny Miller, 1947
Zubin Mehta, 1936
Lane Smith, 1936
Celeste Holm, 1919
Tom Ewell, 1909
Hirohito, 1901
Duke Ellington, 1899
William Randolph Hearst, 1863

Today in History:

The Moors arrive at Gibraltar to begin their invasion of the Iberian Peninsula, 711
Joan of Arc arrives at Orleans to relieve the siege, 1492
Eleven Dutch ships depart for the conquest of Peru, 1623
The Ming Dynasty occupies Tiawan, 1661
The French Fleet prevents Britian from siezing the Cape of Good Hope, 1781
Peter Roget publishes the first edition of his Thesaurus, 1852
The "Elektromote" – forerunner of the trolleybus – is tested by Ernst Werner von Siemens in Berlin, 1882
The North Sea floodgate at Ijmuiden, the biggest in world, officially opens, 1930
The telephone connection of England-Australia goes into service, 1930
The first U.S. experimental 3D-TV broadcast airs, and episode of "Space Patrol" shown over ABC affiliate KECA in Los Angeles, 1953
The first military nuclear power plant opens, in Ft. Belvoir 1957
A cyclone strikes the Chittagong district of southeastern Bangladesh with winds of around 155 mph, killing at least 138,000 people and leaving as many as 10 million homeless, 1991
Oldsmobile builds its final car ending 107 years of production, 2004

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