Just When I Thought It Was Safe To Answer The Phone

"Hi, Mimi, this is Anne."

Another person from the cat rescue. She is on a couple of committees, and in charge of the adoption area at the pet store. I knew she didn't call just to pass the time of day.

"Hello, Anne! What's up?"

"We have a kitten call in. Are you up to more?"

I'm the contact person for that when Meg is teaching school, so it was my call.

"What's the story?" I ask, resigning myself before I even know.

"Newborn this morning to a very young feral mom that got scared away from them and hasn't come back. Just a few blocks from your house."

Ouch. Newborns don't stand much chance, but you can't say no.

"Sure, give me the contact phone number."

It was at a dentist's office, in their back garden. The dentist got there in the morning in time to see the mom run away in fear, one kitten in her mouth. She tried to nest elsewhere with that one, and got scared away again. Only the one had been nursed at all.

They were very nice people, gave us a donation, asked if we could let them know how they were doing. Also asked for help trapping the mom and other ferals in the area so we could do a TNR. That way, this doesn't keep happening.

The runt was so skinny I knew he was a goner from the get go, and he lasted only 24 hours. The others are eating, messing, and warm, and at this stage we can only hope.

No more calls, please.

In honor of national humor month


GRANDMA IN COURT

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grand-motherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."


Today is

Arbor Day

Astronomy Day

Bob Wills Day

Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day

Eeyore's Birthday

Happenstance and Coincidence Evening -- Fairy Calendar

Interstate Mullet Toss Days, through the 25th

National Go Birding Day

National Good Telephone Day -- call some old friends you haven't spoken to in a while

National Puppetry Day

National Rebuilding Day

Native American Heritage Day

Pigs in a Blanket Day

Plumber's Day

Sense of Smell Day (While celebrating, remember those with anosmia.)

St. Egbert's Day

St. Mark's Eve*

World Tai Chi & Qigong Day

*A young lady may eat a boiled dove's egg sprinkled with salt and place
a tulip, sacred to St. Mark, in a vase next to her bed, and so she will
dream of the man she will marry.


Birthdays Today:

Courtnee Draper, 1985
Kelly Clarkson, 1982
Chipper Jones, 1972
Cedric the Entertainer, 1964
Jean-Paul Gaultier, 1952
Doug Clifford, 1945
Barbra Streisand, 1942
Jill Ireland, 1936
Shirley MacLaine, 1934
Robert Penn Warren, 1905
Michael J. Dady, 1850
Anthony Trollope, 1815


Anniversaries Today:

Mary, Queen of Scots marries Dauphin of France, François, at Notre Dame de Paris, 1558


Today in History:

Thutmose III ascends to the throne of Egypt, although power effectively shifts to Hatshepsut, BC1479
Traditional date for the Greeks entering Troy using the Trojan Horse, BC1184
The appearance of Halley's Comet causes monks in England to predict evil happenings, 1066
"La Marseillaise" composed by Claude-Joseph Rouget de Lisle, 1792
The Boston "News-Letter" becomes the first successful newspaper in the colonies, 1704
The Library of Congress is established, 1800
A patent is granted for the first soda fountain, 1833
William Price of the Washington Star becomes the first reporter to be specifically assigned to the White House, 1897
The fathometer, which measures underwater depth, is patented, 1928
Winston Churchill is knighted by Queen Elizabeth II, 1953
Cosmonaut Vladimir Komarov dies in Soyuz 1, the first person to die during a space mission, 1967
Gruinard Island, Scotland, is officially declared free of the anthrax disease after 48 years of quarantine, 1990