Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Happy Birthday, Internet?

An addendum to the talk about boys.

#2 Son came in the kitchen yesterday morning with, "Mom, I'm sorry about the blood on the kitchen floor this morning. I tripped over my saw and, well, see the cut on my leg? One saw tooth, the tip broke off, and I had to pull it out, it was scraping the bone on my ankle."

Then I got to observe a room overflowing with testosterone at co-op. The Cub Scouts had hammers! There was a desperate clamor to get enough parents in there to prevent mayhem as they banged away at the jewelry organizers they were making for their moms. There were close calls with fingers and lots of boy grins and yelling.

About an hour later, I got to observe the Daisy Scouts coming out of their classroom after a project. They were headed to the restrooms to wash their hands. Skipping, giggling, holding hands, lots of smiles and glee, but all of it on a much lower decibel level.

Finance class is going well. We talked about integrity and advertising, and started to apply integrity to how to come up with a budget. The full discussion of that will come next, with the emphasis on the first thing in the spending plan has to be giving. I am so glad to be planting these ideas in the heads of kids who are young enough not to have already messed up the money thing.

As for the internet and birthdays, supposedly today is the founding of the very theoretical beginning of this medium. From what I have read, it might be more like the conception than the birth. Either way, if it gives us something to celebrate, we might as well go with it.


In honor of national humor month:


WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of chocolates and put them in obese people's carts when they weren't looking.

2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8.August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'


And last, but certainly not least:

15.October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.




Today is

ASPCA Day

Caramel Popcorn Day

Hocktide Festival - commemorates a battle in 1002 A.D. when Saxon women defeated the invading Danes; celebrated in the Middle Ages by women imprisoning their men and, after paying the church, retrieving them

International Beaver Day

Metric System Day

Museum Day

National Coffee Cake Day

National Day of Hope

National Teacher Appreciation Day

No Housework Day

Paraprofessional Appreciation Day

Woman's Day, Mozambique

World Health Day


Anniversaries Today:

Prague University is chartered by Charles IV, the first university in central Europe, 1348


Birthdays Today:

Russell Crowe, 1964
Jackie Chan, 1954
Janis Ian, 1951
Francis Coppola, 1939
David Frost, 1939
Wayne Rogers, 1933
James Garner, 1928
Ravi Shankar, 1920
Billie Holiday, 1915
Walter Winchell, 1897
W.K. Kellogg, 1860
William Wordsworth, 1770
St. Francis Xavier, 1506


Today in History:

Attila's Huns plunder Metz, in northern France, 451
Eastern Roman Emperor Justinian I issues the first draft of the Corpus Juris Civilis, the basis for much civil law even today, 529
A crowd in Florence, Italy, storms the Convent of San Marco, demanding Fra Savonarola be turned over as they rebelled against his Bonfires of the Vanities and interference with trade, 1498
Michael Cardozo becomes the first Jewish lawyer in Brazil, 1645
American pioneers found Marietta, Ohio, as the first permanent settlement of the new Northwest Territory, 1788
France adopts the meter as the standard measure of length, 1795
The Mississippi Territory is established, 1798
English chemist John Walker invents wooden matches, 1827
Thomas D'Arcy McGee, one of the Canadian Fathers of Confederation is assassinated by the Irish, in one of the few Canadian political assassinations, and the only one of a federal politician, 1868
Nebraska establishes an 8 hour work day, 1891
Texas Oil Company (Texaco) is formed, 1902
An eruption of Mt. Vesuvius devastates Naples, 1906
Dr. K. Winfield Ney performs the first brain tumor operation under a local anesthesia, at Beth Israel Hospital, 1923
Using phone lines, the first long distance television image is sent, of Commerce Secretary Herbert Hoover, from Washington, D.C. to NYC, 1927
Booker T. Washington becomes the first African-American depicted on a postage stamp in the US, 1940
Syria is officially recognized as independent from France, 1946
Spain relinquishes its protectorate in Morocco, 1956
Dwight D. Eisenhower gives his "domino theory" speech, 1954
The publication of RFC 1 marks the symbolic birth of the Internet, 1969

2 comments:

  1. I thought the LOLspeak term was interwebs, but intertubes is great.

    ReplyDelete